Really, Lord? I mean, really. Why do you do the things that you do? Questions flood my mind tonight as we are faced with many things, much like many of you. Sometimes it's hard to understand God's timing, God's plan, God's Sovereignty. But truly, He IS worth trusting.
Tonight, I sit in the hospital room once again, as Lucy has been admitted for what appears to be a stomach bug (which can prove to be quite serious in kids like her). I haven't slept since she had her surgery on Friday because I was nervous that she would get sick in the middle of the night and that I wouldn't hear it. I'm tired and worn. This time of year, Lord? We have to be admitted this time of year again? With all that we have going on, we have to be here and Lucy has to be sick? Honestly, even with all of this, I am flooded with His peace.
On Sunday, Ellie's close friend Annie went to be with Jesus. They loved each other and went to school together. They often were in the hospital at the same time, and we would have them spend as much time as possible with each other during those hospital stays. They enjoyed their time together so much. And now, Annie is gone from this earth. Lord? You take her almost a year from when Ellie Kate left this world? Because He is good, I see His sweetness even in this.
My God is faithful, and even though I don't want to be in the hospital - especially at this time of year with all of the fresh memories of Ellie's last days, I am grateful. I am grateful for the memories the Lord is giving me - good memories of past hospital stays. Ellie really did love it here, and being here brings me some comfort tonight. His peace is with me.
His timing is Perfect, even though it seems cruel that Jesus would take Annie home during the same month that Ellie passed away, also on a Sunday, almost at the same exact time. His timing is perfect because Annie had accomplished all that God had wanted her to. His timing is perfect because He was ready to heal Annie once and for all, forever. And that is what He has done!
So, while it is true that my flesh wonders "why?", my heart, spirit and soul truly feel His peace; the Peace that passes ALL understanding. I'm choosing to trust His timing, to trust Him with Lucy, to trust Him with my family. I'm choosing to trust Him with Annie's family and the hurt they are now facing because of deep loss. I trust Him for little and big things that we need and that we are longing for. I trust Him because He IS FAITHFUL.
You too can trust Him, Friends. Trust Him with your whole heart. When it all doesn't make sense, choose to trust Him. Give Him your life, your soul, your body, your spirit; give him control of your life, your family, your money, your circumstances. Jesus is worthy to be trusted.
Trust Him. Pray for those who are hurting, including Annie's family as they face unimaginable loss. Go out and love recklessly, and look for His goodness and faithfulness in the things around you.
Ryan
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