Weakness

"But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities.  For when I am weak, then I am strong." 

2 Corinthians 12:9-10, ESV

Oh, Friends.  I am a weak, weak human. God didn't choose me to be the parent of my children because of anything I am or anything I've done (good or bad).  I'm just me; and I mess up, doubt, lash out, question the Lord - the list could go on and on.  Thank goodness I serve a forgiving God who loves me the same no matter what I do or say.  That's right, as a Believer, He loves me the same no matter what I do.  I am precious in His sight.  

You see, when we are open about our weaknesses, about our human-ness, God will use that for His glory.  It's important for people to know that everyone deals with sin, with heartache, with worry.  It's just what life is as we live in a fallen world, because of the sin of Adam and Eve.  We live in a broken world, and we are all broken.

So tonight, I gladly share just SOME of my weaknesses.  Today I have been worried about Lucy Belle.  I have doubted the Lord.  I have questioned His timing, His sovereignty.  It's been hard not to let my mind wonder, and I've purposefully have had to turn my mind on other things.  

You see, Lucy is acting much like Ellie Kate today, but not in a good way.  Her tummy isn't tolerating feeds, and I'm having to keep my mind from rushing to conclusions - is this the beginning of the end for Lucy too?  Is it the same GI issues that Ellie constantly dealt with?  Is this a sign of things to come - hospital stays and major GI issues?  Is there something I am doing to cause this in my daughters?

Lucy Belle did so great overnight with partial feeds.  But every time we tried to feed her today, she screamed just like Ellie used to.  Even the meds hurt her tummy.  So, we are back to square one (almost) and are on continuous pedialyte and loratab for pain.  We are praying that this is just part of what we hope to be the tummy bug that Lucy has experienced recently.  We are so grateful in God's timing as our Attending happens to be our Pediatrician, whom we love and trust.  God has prepared the way for this stay, and He knows what is going on with Lucy's little body.  

Would you pray that we would all get to the bottom of Lucy's tummy pain?  Pray that the answers would be clear and that there would be something we can do about it quickly.  Pray for wisdom for our team of doctors.  Also, we planned to go out of town next week until Christmas, as being home surrounded by hard memories just seemed too much to deal with this year.  Would you pray that we would still be able to go on this trip?  We are longing to get away to a special place with family and friends, and we've been looking forward to it for so long.  Obviously we will stay close to home if Lucy is still ill, but we really would love to go on our trip (which also serves as our Christmas to our family this year, and the boys in particular will be so disapointed).  

I'm choosing to boast in His goodness tonight.  I am boasting in my weaknesses, because I know they give Him a chance to be stronger than I can imagine.  These calamaties, heartaches and trials will all work together for MY good and for HIS glory.  My God is amazing like that.  

Friends, we thank you for your love and prayers!

Ryan