Not so Merry and Bright

Yesterday I attended the Life Celebration of one of Ellie's best friends - Annie.  Ellie and Annie were good friends for several reasons.  Really, I think they were destined to be friends because God had them together so much!  Annie and Ellie Kate were in the same class at school for a while.  They also spent many times in the hospital together, including most of fall of 2012.  We took them on walks together around the hospital and on little adventures to the End Zone here at Children's.  Ellie loved Annie, and she always reached out for her.  It was a precious thing to see as her mother.  My daughter had a friend!  And, I have no doubt that Ellie was there to welcome Annie to Heaven last Sunday.  How much fun they must be having running and dancing in their new bodies together!

I was struck by many things yesterday, one being the fact that so many precious doctors and nurses were there to support Annie's family.  All of those same doctors and nurses have cared for Ellie too, and many of them also attended Ellie Kate's service.  I am blown away by the love these professionals have for their patients.  I am forever grateful for tender hearts.  We are blessed to have medical teams who really want what is best for our daughters.  I'm thankful for the reckless love they showed by coming to Annie's service.

Today, a sweet baby named Gabriella Faith was born.  Today, Gabriella Faith also went to be with Jesus.  This little girl's parents knew ahead of time that their daughter would be born without a skull, and that she would not live long.  Still, they chose to carry Gabriella Faith until God was ready to call her home.  And tonight, along with our beloved friend and photographer Holly Hall, we took pictures of this sweet girl.  They will be memories and keepsakes that her family can forever hold on to.  Holly is loving recklessly through her "Ellie's Legacy", which does hospice pictures for special children in honor of Ellie Kate.  And many are loving Gabriella's family recklessly through this terribly difficult time.

As I was texting back and forth concerning baby Gabriella today, I found myself humming "Silent Night".  And then I was hit with how unfair this life is.  So much loss.  So much grieving.  Not just those who have lost little ones or are dealing with a special-needs child, although that is where our heart surely is.  I'm thinking of many people who have lost loved ones, those who have terrible diagnoses, those who feel all alone and abandoned for various reasons.  My heart truly bleeds for those who are hurting, and I long to make the world understand that we MUST rise up and love one another in word and in deed.  I long to to make the world understand HOW to love well, as I am learning that not everyone knows just how to love, or are afraid of doing it (no guilt, that is just how God has made us - all different with different giftings!).

Please friends, during this time of hustle and bustle and Merry Cheer, do not forget the lowly.  Do not forget the hurting.  Take a moment from your Christmas wrapping and decorating, from planning that big meal; take a break from putting lights up on your house, and go and love and serve and do.  Love in word AND in deed.  It's really not that hard.  I've shared with you a few ways to do just that, and I know the Lord can show you INFINITELY more than I can!  I'm asking Him to open all of our hearts to the world around us.  

Thank you for keeping us in your prayers as we are still in the hospital.  Thank you for praying specifically for Annie's family and for Gabriella Faith's family as they face the sting of death.  We love you all dearly.

Because of HIS Reckless Love,
Ryan

Really, Lord? Lessons in Trust

Really, Lord?  I mean, really.  Why do you do the things that you do?  Questions flood my mind tonight as we are faced with many things, much like many of you.  Sometimes it's hard to understand God's timing, God's plan, God's Sovereignty.  But truly, He IS worth trusting.

Tonight, I sit in the hospital room once again, as Lucy has been admitted for what appears to be a stomach bug (which can prove to be quite serious in kids like her).  I haven't slept since she had her surgery on Friday because I was nervous that she would get sick in the middle of the night and that I wouldn't hear it.  I'm tired and worn.  This time of year, Lord?  We have to be admitted this time of year again?  With all that we have going on, we have to be here and Lucy has to be sick? Honestly, even with all of this, I am flooded with His peace.

On Sunday, Ellie's close friend Annie went to be with Jesus.  They loved each other and went to school together.  They often were in the hospital at the same time, and we would have them spend as much time as possible with each other during those hospital stays.  They enjoyed their time together so much.  And now, Annie is gone from this earth.  Lord?  You take her almost a year from when Ellie Kate left this world?  Because He is good, I see His sweetness even in this.

My God is faithful, and even though I don't want to be in the hospital - especially at this time of year with all of the fresh memories of Ellie's last days, I am grateful. I am grateful for the memories the Lord is giving me - good memories of past hospital stays.  Ellie really did love it here, and being here brings me some comfort tonight.  His peace is with me.

His timing is Perfect, even though it seems cruel that Jesus would take Annie home during the same month that Ellie passed away, also on a Sunday, almost at the same exact time.  His timing is perfect because Annie had accomplished all that God had wanted her to.  His timing is perfect because He was ready to heal Annie once and for all, forever.  And that is what He has done!

So, while it is true that my flesh wonders "why?", my heart, spirit and soul truly feel His peace; the Peace that passes ALL understanding.  I'm choosing to trust His timing, to trust Him with Lucy, to trust Him with my family.  I'm choosing to trust Him with Annie's family and the hurt they are now facing because of deep loss.  I trust Him for little and big things that we need and that we are longing for.  I trust Him because He IS FAITHFUL.  

You too can trust Him, Friends.  Trust Him with your whole heart.  When it all doesn't make sense, choose to trust Him.  Give Him your life, your soul, your body, your spirit; give him control of your life, your family, your money, your circumstances.  Jesus is worthy to be trusted.  

Trust Him.  Pray for those who are hurting, including Annie's family as they face unimaginable loss.  Go out and love recklessly, and look for His goodness and faithfulness in the things around you.


Ryan