A Precious Birthday

Today was a good day.  It was a VERY good day.  I want to fill you in on all of today's events - the smiles, the laughter, the tears.  But that will have to wait until tomorrow.  Today, I want to focus on My Daughter - On MY Ellie Kate McLaughlin.

I've been flooded with precious emails, texts, phone calls, and FB messages.  I think I counted roughly 80 of those today, so forgive me if it takes me a while to get back to all of you!  I can tell that you love Ellie Kate and that you love our family by the ways you have reached out to us today.  Thank you so much.  I wish I could express how much your support, words and encouragement mean to us.  I trust that the Father will fill you with the realization of the impact you've had (and continue to have) on our lives through loving us well.  

Thankfully, the Lord has filled my heart with sweet memories from Ellie's birthday last year.  As you know, Ellie was in the hospital on her 7th birthday.  It was a warm day, a happy day.  I woke up and went and bought Ellie Kate a giant doll out of the gift shop.  I had contemplated buying that giant doll over and over in my head.  It was so expensive, but I was so drawn to it.  Ellie loved giant animals that she could hug, hit and snuggle with.  I am SO grateful God provided a way for me to get that big doll for her.  She absolutely loved it, and it now sits in Lucy's room.   

Ellie's nurses sang "Happy Birthday" to her many times that day.  She felt so special.  Everyone who came in went on and on about her beauty and what an incredible little girl she was.  The Child Life girls hung a birthday banner and many of the nurses and doctors signed it (I treasure that today!).  Maegan, one of Ellie's nurses since the beginning, went and bought her a darling OU outfit for her birthday.  We gave Ellie a bath together and just like always, she loved that warm hair-wash cap.  I scrubbed her hair extra long that day because she loved it so. Her lips were breaking down, and I covered them in her "lipstick" (Burt's Bees chapstick that I had specially bought for her).  Maegan and I dressed Ellie together that day, in those cute clothes Maegan and so kindly bought her (she will never know what a gift that sacrifice was to me).  I sleep with that little OU shirt from time to time even now.  It is precious to me as I remember that happy day.  

My friend Nina brought lunch to me, and we took Ellie Kate outside to enjoy the warm weather.  She loved it!  Many smiles came across her little face as she hopped around the play-yard and sat in the big chairs.  So many sweet memories.  I took her for a walk by myself later in the day, and we checked out all of the Christmas decorations.  We found her favorite tree (the one on the sixth floor, flocked white with bright-colored decorations).  I took her picture by the tree.  I took her again outside, and relished in the fact that she was enjoying the outdoors.  She hopped a bit before becoming too tired, but she sat and enjoyed the sunshine for a long while.  I will never forget that time together.

That night we decided to have a special family birthday party at the hospital.  Oh, how grateful I am that we had that little party!  Thanks to Nina, we had pizza and even a personalized cookie cake.  We even had Hello Kitty decorations, just like we had planned with her regular birthday party (which we hoped to have once she was released).  Dr. F, our favorite pediatrician, stopped by the party too.  Ellie felt so loved and was so excited to be with her family, which she adored. She laughed at her brothers as they fought over toys and she smiled as we sang "Happy Birthday" to her once again.  We had her party on the 10th floor waiting room, and I walked through that very room tonight in tears as we delivered gifts to children in her honor.  

When we got back to her room that evening, Maegan had decorated the entire room for Ellie Kate!  It was perfect, and it made me feel special, as well as our entire family.  Even if Ellie Kate didn't understand it's significance, I know that she loved it.  A little gesture made a huge impact on us all.  

I kissed Ellie Kate goodbye that last birthday.  My Dad stayed the night with her as I went home to be with the other children and with Mike.  I wish I had stayed, although I know the time she had with Poppie was very special.  I wish I had been the last one to talk to her on her last birthday on earth.  If I had only known.  

That day, I had written Ellie Kate a letter, which I posted on her Carepage.  Little did I know that she would be gone in just days, and that letter would be used at her funeral and even in her obituary.  Oh, how fleeting this life is!  I leave you with this letter to My Girl, as I think it speaks volumes of her life and of our love for her.  

More tomorrow, My Friends . . . 

To My Ellie Kate, On Your Seventh Birthday:

I will never forget the day that you were born. One of my biggest dreams came true - I had a daughter! You were gorgeous, and although I didn't see your eyes for a long time, I knew they would be perfect. Your dark hair, your dark skin - I finally had a baby that looked like me! And, you were (and forever will remain) our Princess; feminine as ever from the very beginning.

We've been on this journey together now for seven years. It seems like yesterday and yet these seven years have come to define our lives as individuals and as a family. Seven years of joy, of pain, of sorrow, of gratitude, of pure love; all of which have been full of precious moments. I do not regret one day with you, Sweet Girl. I do not regret one thing we have endured together, because it has brought us to where we are today.

The night you were born, Daddy and I sat in the hospital room and gave you over to the Lord, as Abraham gave up Isaac. We had no idea what God was really calling us to do, but we gave our Little Princess entirely to Him. Our prayer was that He would use your life for His glory. Oh, Little One, how He has exceeded my feeble expectations!

Ellie, you are a joy. You have changed my life forever. I love better because of you. I serve better because of you. I even hurt better because of you. I am BETTER because of you.

You lead me to Christ, to our Father, to the Spirit. You lead people across the globe to the One True Light. You are a Missionary. You are a Worship Leader. You are an Artist.

I bless you today, on your seventh birthday, Dear Girl. I pray that God showers His goodness and mercy upon you. I pray that you always feel His presence and see His angels around you. I pray that you will know how much you are loved, and I pray that God will continue to use you for His glory – whatever that might look like.

Always and Forever, Little One –
Mommy