This week, I had a beautiful dream but first, let me fill you in on a few key things so you can really get the jest of it all . . .
As you may know, to celebrate Ellie Kate's home-going the past three years, we've created Amazon Wish Lists full of books, games and toys for patients who were staying at OU Children's Hospital. YOU would purchase items directly from the Amazon Wish Lists,and those items were sent directly to our home. Mike and I would hand-delivered those gifts to patients at OU on December 4th, Ellie Kate's birthday. After all, Sister Sue spent that last birthday inpatient, where we had a simple little party for her in one of the waiting rooms. That place, those halls, those rooms are sacred to us and it has been a JOY and delight to hand out gifts to patients while sharing Ellie Kate's story and legacy of Reckless Love; a legacy we want to live out for the rest of our lives.
Hopefully you've heard that God wanted us to do something different this year. He clearly told us to adopt a small family as part of celebrating Ellie's Month, with the idea of us all coming together in honor of EK, loving, serving and providing for this little family. The Father literally gave us the perfect family, who's needs are great. God has also told us to provide for fellow NKH Families around the world, affected by the same rare and terminal genetic disorder as we are. We've been led to partner with NKH Crusaders to further "Ellie Kate's Helping Hands", providing wishes of both needs and wants this Christmas.
So, now that we're all on the same page, let's continue with
that beautiful dream the Spirit gave to me . . .
THIS DREAM: You know the kind, when it's so real you could hear, touch and smell during it's entirety; where you wake up bursting with JOY, grateful for God's faithfulness?!
Oh Friends, I do so hope you've experienced this in your lifetime!
In this particular dream, I FELT God's faithfulness, goodness and provision. I was closely watching the Amazon Wish Lists for Ellie Kate's Month of Reckless Love. In this vivid dream, I literally saw the list for the family we've asked you to join us in adopting this Christmas. I also physically saw the NKH Christmas Wish Lists through NKH Crusaders.
At first in my dream, I saw the Amazon Wish Lists, with the many pictures of items these Sweet Families so desperately need, along with a few little items they want. Big tears filled my eyes as I realized NONE of the gifts had been purchased and Christmas was almost here! The dreamy tears flowed and turned into dreamy SOBS.
Out of nowhere, it was as if the Father sweetly lifted my face with His finger. He had been standing there, looking at the lists with me the entire time and all of a sudden, in some ultra-speedy way, people started purchasing the gifts from the lists! "PURCHASED!" popped up over and over and over again, and Mike and I were filled with JOY and excitement!
In my dream, I kept praising and thanking God for His provision, for clearly stepping in and fulfilling the needs of families HE alone laid on our hearts. I praised Him for allowing us to physically SEE His provision, knowing EVERY wish had been granted, knowing EVERY need had been met, knowing EVERY gift would be delivered in time for Christmas morning. In the dream, I worshiped God as Jehovah Jireh, "the God who provides", and that's when I awoke, still filled with JOY and THANKSGIVING!
Yesterday (Thanksgiving Day), I excitedly looked
at those same Amazon Wish Lists and I was shocked.
My dream was coming true - when looking at the lists,
at those same Amazon Wish Lists and I was shocked.
My dream was coming true - when looking at the lists,
I saw NOTHING has been purchased off of ANY of our lists.
Unfortunately, I realize I haven't posted or promoted our lists like I have in past years. Even so, I am terribly disheartened, and being raw with you, I'm sick to my stomach thinking about our Adoptive Christmas Family and our fellow NKH Families, for at this point, NONE will receive the items they need, nor the items they long for this year.
Questions flood my mind . . .
At this time, our families will not have a single present under the tree in honor of Ellie Kate's Month of Reckless Love, and the mere thought of that breaks my heart into a million pieces.
Questions flood my mind . . .
- What have Mike and I done wrong to make it so no one has participated so far? In years's past, most wish lists have been filled and sent to our home for wrapping by this time!
- Did changing our giving "focus" for the Month of Reckless Love bring too much confusion? Instead of handing out gifts to patients at Children's Hospital, we've clearly felt led to provide Christmas (wants and needs) to a precious, local family in need. We've also decided to support our fellow NKH families in need, filling their wishes for the "Ellie Kate Helping Hands Project" through NKH Crusaders. We know God told us to do this, but where is His faithful proof?
- Has it been too long now since Ellie died? Have people just simply, innocently, forgotten about Ellie Kate and The Month of Reckless Love we do in her honor? It has been four years this December 23rd, and it's completely understandable if people forget, or no longer feel the urgency in supporting these efforts which to us, keep Ellie Kate's name and legacy alive.
As I said, this December 23rd marks FOUR YEARS since Ellie Kate's passing. FOUR YEARS since I last held her, since I last felt her heartbeat or kissed those gorgeous, pink, full lips and those sweet little earlobes. To us, it's like yesterday and at moments, like a lifetime ago. I have learned to never, ever expect people to really "get it". I don't expect people to understand or remember the anniversaries, birthdays or hard days such as holidays, family celebrations. Only those who've truly lost a child of their own, whom they've raised, birthed, then buried - only they can bear witness to the type of pain, heartache; the waves of grief we've tasted too frequently. Only they know the sleepless nights (like Thanksgiving Night for me), the grief-sickness, and everything in-between.
The holidays are especially rough as you see those close to you happy, continuing to make memories with those they love; you realize again that there are no more memories to be made with your child. There's a sting when walking by that section of clothes where you used to shop for your daughter. No more Christmas wish lists for him or for her. There won't be any presents for them at the Family Holiday Gathering, and why should there be? They are gone, but the feelings can be ever-so-tender.
This is when the dagger-thoughts start creeping in, "Do they even realize she's gone from the Kid Table? That there's one less place setting again this year?". "Do my parents, my brothers and sisters, even the cousins - do they remember his/her laugh and mannerisms?". We often wonder, especially during the holidays, "Will anyone say her name? Will they share a memory (esp without me having to instigate it)?" or maybe, "When we go around the table saying what we are thankful for, will anyone mention My Child? Or has it simply been too long for everyone else but us?".
This is when the dagger-thoughts start creeping in, "Do they even realize she's gone from the Kid Table? That there's one less place setting again this year?". "Do my parents, my brothers and sisters, even the cousins - do they remember his/her laugh and mannerisms?". We often wonder, especially during the holidays, "Will anyone say her name? Will they share a memory (esp without me having to instigate it)?" or maybe, "When we go around the table saying what we are thankful for, will anyone mention My Child? Or has it simply been too long for everyone else but us?".
It's during this most difficult time that our family needs encouragement from the Body of Christ - from our friends and family around the world. Is it selfish to shout your needs to the world? Well, I believe the Lord wants me to share my needs and brokenness with you and with those around me, because He wants others to see Christians (true followers of Christ) hurt, mourn and question during life's most tragic times, just like any other human do. The Body of Christ is called to share each other's burdens and most of the time, I won't know your burden unless you share it with me. It's what we're called to do; it's in our nature, in our calling as Followers of Christ. Jesus called His Disciples to sell all they had to give away so that they could FULLY follow Him. He gave them mandates to love, serve and give to the hurting, the widowed, the poor (physically poor and poor in spirit), and the same is true today. Friends, because of the Holy Spirit, we are fully capable of loving these same ways!
I wish I could explain how important it is to our family that Ellie Kate is remembered, that her legacy continues through others who've known Ellie Kate personally; by those who have known OF and ABOUT EK and by those who've known and experienced reckless love
because of her precious life!
Dear Friends, thank you for sticking with me this far on this post. Let me wrap it all up here below and although I know it isn't a spotless package wrapped perfectly and without flaw, I DO invite you to still open it, to still take part!
Read here until the very end and click on the links
to see how you can give, what you can give and who you can give to.
Christmas Family Adoption 2016
Our Christmas adopted family is in great need of almost everything, as they hardly have any possessions of their own. They sleep on beaten-up mattresses, laying directly on the floor. Their furniture (given to them or taken from out of dumpsters) has holes from cigarette burns and are covered in stains. They sleep with little blankets and mom wears the same pair of jeans each day. All three family members share a little flip phone, even though the daughter is in high school and the son is in 2nd grade. They also do not have a car or computer.
Although momma especially is incredibly clean and keeps their little home immaculate, she can only use the washer and dryer at the apartment complex. This only happens when they have detergent and quarters to pay for the machines. Father/husband is out of the picture and isn't responsible for any financial help at this time (he physically is unable to assist for the foreseeable future).
Our Adoption Family is just Mom, her teenage daughter and their little son, desperately trying to figure out how to survive, how to find a job while not having a car to get to and from work, etc.
Although momma especially is incredibly clean and keeps their little home immaculate, she can only use the washer and dryer at the apartment complex. This only happens when they have detergent and quarters to pay for the machines. Father/husband is out of the picture and isn't responsible for any financial help at this time (he physically is unable to assist for the foreseeable future).
Our Adoption Family is just Mom, her teenage daughter and their little son, desperately trying to figure out how to survive, how to find a job while not having a car to get to and from work, etc.
Would you please consider purchasing an item off of the Adopted Family's Amazon Wish List?
(click on the link above to see the family's lists)
(click on the link above to see the family's lists)
Remember, this Amazon Wish List gives you great ideas (and sizes too), but you do NOT have to order only from Amazon. You can purchase these items, or even similar items! There are items from all price-ranges, too! It was difficult to get the family to list items other than just socks, underwear and groceries, which is further proof of how humble and genuine they truly are. I had to prod and poke them to choose things for an Amazon Wish List, and I encouraged them to "go big" and put a few extravagant wishes on the lists as well. You never know what the Lord might lead an individual or Community Group, Life Group, Small Group, Sunday School class, Church, or even one individual to give this Christmas season!!!
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"Ellie's Wish" for fellow NKH Families from around the World
As part of the Ellie Kate Helping Hands Fund through NKH Crusaders (which is the main organization supporting NKH families as well as NKH research around the world), these special Amazon Wish Lists were created specifically for individual NKH families. These particular families were chosen because of their background within the NKH Community and because
of the needs their children with NKH have at this time.
Families were encouraged to choose items that would bless them this Christmas - gifts for their special AND typical children, as well as needs for their disabled child(ren),
which aren't currently covered by insurance.
Would you please consider purchasing an item off one of our NKH Family's Wish Lists (click on the link below to see each Amazon Wish List)?
God truly IS faithful and I BELIEVE He WILL fulfill each and every one of these lists! I believe He will meet the needs of these precious people whom He has laid on our hearts, whom He has told us to share with you. I believe the dream He gave me will come true, and ALL of us will see the Father at work as Jehovah Jireh, the God Who Provides!
Thank you for taking part of this most important time of year for us; for remembering Our Daughter and through that, breathing life into our hearts once again. There are many other good and happy things happening and we cannot wait to share them with you! We will do so very soon, especially since the gifts will start coming in and our hearts will be at peace, knowing you remember and care!
With Gratefulness, Expectation and Love,
Ryan
