I do hate that Mike is spending his birthday here in the hospital with us. We started that tradition on his 30th birthday when Ellie Kate was a little baby and on the ventilator in the PICU. Our friend Delia held a surprise party for Mike at our house that evening, and it was AWESOME! All our Bridgeway Church peeps and house church peeps were there (we were leading at that time). We had tons of silly string and happiness - it was a great stress reliever for both of us. And tonight, we spend another birthday in a hospital, this time with a different little girl. Our friend Suzette (who works with Mike) is actually on our floor with her little girl, Kaylie. She brought cake and balloons for Mike this evening. Pretty amazing since she's been here for 12 days (most of those in the PICU with her little girl). What can I say? Each birthday, God has done something special, despite the circumstances.
DREAMS:
Mike and I have been reflecting and dreaming quite a bit lately. I guess it goes along with how we feel about 2014, and the feeling of newness it has brought to our family. I was dreaming even more today as I was sitting with my Dad and Lu Lu in the ER (sitting in a windowless room with a broken remote for four hours will do that to you).
People say to "Dream Big", encourage others to "Follow your dreams", and of course we've all heard the term, "The American Dream". As a society, we encourage one another to go-for-it, to reach for the stars; basically saying that if we work hard enough and catch enough breaks, we can make our dreams come true. Even Christians get in on this. After all, there truly isn't anything wrong with dreaming big for our kids, for our families, for our businesses, for ourselves.
But for me, my dreams haven't come true, and quite honestly, they won't - most of them, that is; not in the way that I would dream or plan. No matter what I do, no matter how hard I work, how much "luck" that's thrown my way . . . it just won't happen for me that way. Here were some of my dreams (not necessarily in order or priority):
- Marry the Love of my life - CHECK:)!
- Have beautiful, healthy children - um, they ARE gorgeous! Not healthy by the world's standards though.
- Be involved in our Church Body - this isn't as possible as we would like, and I find myself getting upset when we can't be at church because of illness and hospital stays. It's just so frustrating that we can't be consistent, although we truly long to be.
- Get involved in my kids' school, lead in the PTA, substitute, etc - Hmmmm, not possible with our lifestyle, at least at this point in our lives.
- Serve my community - CHECK! I truly just didn't think that we would mostly be serving in the wonderful world of special needs (but, Oh how I love it, and Oh how I wouldn't change it for anything!)
- Live debt-free - Yeah, um this isn't possible in our forseeable future due to continued medical bills, the cost of meds, equipment, etc. I'm not sure we will ever reach this goal.
- Provide a home and yard where our kids can run, explore and spend most of their time outside - see above for this.
- Adopt - oh, how we want to do this! But the Lord wants us to focus on sweet Lucy right now (He's directly told me), as well as those amazing boys of ours. Plus, I really don't know how we would do it financially.
- Go on mission trips as a couple and as a family - well, that isn't feasible to do with our life situation either. Someday, maybe.
- Be able to bless others financially in big ways - we long to do this, as so many have done it for us! We wanted to do this even before we had Ellie Kate. But God had different plans, and for now He is calling us to be "receivers" rather than "givers". Someday, I hope to be a better giver.
As Believers, we have lost sight of some essential truths. You see, none of these dreams are bad or evil. God absolutely DOES place dreams within our hearts, but they are HIS dreams. He gives us dreams that will ultimately bring others to Him and that will bring glory. We can have our own fleshly dreams, and they may all be good things. But the real dreams - the ones that HE calls us to, that HE places in our hearts, that HE brings to pass, are the very best dreams to have. They are the dreams that will come true, and no amount of work or wishing or luck will help us to make them a reality. They will be a reality because God desires them for us and for our lives.
What are your dreams? Do you think they have been given to you from the Lord Jesus or are they birthed from selfish desires? Either way, surrender your dreams to Him. God did this FOR me with our life situation, but I still have to surrender my dreams and desires to Him all the time. Oh Friends, give your dreams to the Lord. Hand them over to Him as a beautiful sacrifice. He will make beautiful things out of your life; He will replace some of your dreams with bigger dreams - dreams you never would have expected! And He has already placed some of them within your heart. Align them with your Father. Give them over to Him for His purposes and not merely your own.
Ephesians 3:20-21
20 Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, 21 to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.
Dreams. They are not about working hard, dreaming big, reaching for the stars; it's not about luck. It's all about Him.
Ryan
No comments:
Post a Comment