Again?!

Well, Lucy has strep.  Again.  You may remember that she was diagnosed with it two weeks ago.  It ended up progressing and causing some GI issues, which in turn caused us to go to the ER, which then caused a four-day hospital stay.  Sigh.

Lucy Belle has been hitting her head, pulling her hair out, scratching her face, and screaming uncontrollably, so I knew that something was hurting her.  Even the strong pain meds and anti-anxiety meds aren't keeping her comfortable!  It makes my mommy-heart hurt for my Baby Girl.

I thought it was her ears, but the ENT looked at them today (he thankfully worked us in), an they were all clear.  We tested for RSV, FLU and other viruses in the Pediatrician's office, and all were negative (YAY!).  Then they decided to swab Lucy's throat and check for strep. Really, after a hospital stay with the "atomic bomb" of IV antibiotics over a four-day stretch, her strep should be gone.  Surely.  There's no way it would still be there.  We were shocked at the positive test!

So now, we go back on strong antibiotics and we go back next week to see if it's clearing up.  If not . . . well, I don't know.  Do we just take her tonsils out?  Do we admit and do strong antibiotics again?  And how did Little Miss contract strep?  We don't take her in crowds; heck, I don't take her anywhere really!  And everyone who comes into our home takes their shoes off and disinfects their hands at the front door.  How do we keep her healthy during sick season?  I have no idea.  We can't live in a bubble, that's for sure.
Ending on a sweet note, I was able to clean out Ellie Kate's closet this week.  This was a HUGE thing for me, ya'll.  I had left Ellie's closet the same, untouched for over a year.  It was time to put those precious clothes away.  I had a good motive for doing it - a dear friend is putting together a quilt of Ellie's shirts for me!  She offered back when Ellie Kate was on hospice, but I haven't been ready until now.  God's prepared my heart, and I was ready to give those little clothes over to be worked on this week.  I cannot wait to see the end product.  What a priceless gift!!

Ways to Pray:

• Pray for ease of pain for Lucy
• Pray for wisdom for the doctors and for me and Mike.  
• Pray for the boys as they have been acting out due to the uncertainty of Lucy's sickness and the recent hospital stay.  
• Pray for my parents as they've been helping out SO much, and I know that they are so tired.  
• Pray for God's provision (we need Him to show up in BIG ways)

Thank you for keeping up with us and for loving us well!

Ryan

That Wonderful Chair

Ellie Kate's chair has now left our home.  I'm so grateful for the prayers you said on our behalf concerning this very thing.  Your texts and messages about it have meant so much.  Really, I felt like part of me was leaving our house as that chair was loaded and driven away.  It was heart-breaking, and I sobbed like a baby.  That was MY Daughter's chair.

One of our friends, Amy McLean sent me a message and told me about something she had seen on Pintrest.  So, we decided to make some lasting memories with Ellie's chair, and with Amy's recommendation, we did some special artwork!

These little canvases are precious to me - precious to our family.  Each of the boys will have one to take with them as they grow and move on in life.  Mike has one for his office.  We have some for our home.  The tracks of that chair will stay with us forever through these canvases.  What a dear thought.

I wanted to share these photos with you tonight.  I wanted you to see how God allowed us to make lasting artwork out of Ellie Kate's chair.  He orchestrated it so beautifully, and I think they turned out really well (thanks to my artistic husband!).  I'm thankful to Amy as well, whose own daughter suffers from a genetic mitochondrial disorder; thankful that she came across those ideas on Pintrest; thankful that she shared the ideas with me.

Enjoy these sweet photos and the last few pics we took of the chair itself (holding some priceless cargo, I might add!) . . .

Ryan

Jiggity Jig!

We are HOME!!  Lucy's still a bit slow on feeds and still in pain with her ears, but we are on the right track.  The hospital is so full of RSV, flu and pneumonia, that we were anxious to get Lucy out before she caught anything else.

And guess who else is home?? Our friend Makenna!  It truly is a miracle that she is now home this evening.  The doctors and nurses never thought that she would be back to a state that was stable enough to be home, yet that's where she is.  God is a god of mysteries, and we trust His goodness in keeping Makenna with her family a while longer.  He has more things for her to accomplish!

Thank you for praying for us and for loving us through this stay.  As always, we are blown away by the way you've reached out and encouraged our family during this time.

Home Again, Home Again -

Ryan

Still Here

Well, we are still here at OU Children's.  At this time, Lucy is getting ready to start a little bit of formula over the pump.  That means a small amount of formula (about 1.5oz) will go into her belly over thirty minutes.  It's not much, but it's a start! We will see how she tolerates it, and that will determine the next step.  We hope she will do well with this feeding, and that we can get home soon!

Lucy's still having trouble with pain.  She's been screaming terribly and pulling her hair out this morning.  It's so hard to watch.  I so wish that Lucy could tell us what is wrong; is it her head?  her ears?  her belly?  No one knows, and so we guess and we give her pain meds.  She's had morphine and lortab already this morning, and finally she has fallen asleep.

Also, Lucy's ears still aren't looking great.  You can imagine our frustration as we JUST had new tubes placed in December!  I'm not sure why she has so much trouble with those sweet ears, but they sure do hurt her.  We will be doing our third dose of IV antibiotics for her ears this afternoon.  Bless her heart.  Will we always have to be admitted for ear infections?  Will she always get them?  Will she need new tubes?  Will they ever work correctly?  

It's amazing how sick Lucy's ears can make her.  As you've read, she requires the heavy-duty meds through the IV.  She requires the heavy-duty pain meds through the IV.  She seizes more when she's sick, and every sickness causes a host of problems.  What started off as strep last Friday has us here in the hospital this week, and has turned into full-blown ear infections, possible stomach bug/GI issues, dehydration, seizures, inability to take one of her NKH meds, etc.  This, My Friends, is why special-needs mommas absolutely hate "sick season".  

Thank you so much for praying for us.  Lucy and I have both been resting really well overnight at the hospital and our nurses and doctors are taking excellent care of us.  We wouldn't want to be anywhere else in Oklahoma!  We just need our Little Princess to be healed and for her infections to clear up.  Thank you for surrounding us with love and prayer!

Ryan

I Dreamed a Little Dream

Two posts in one day!?! It's been a busy day for sure, and I'm actually writing this from our hospital room at OU Children's.  Lucy has been admitted for what looks like the stomach bug.  We really do hope and pray that is what it is, and not just the GI issues that plagued Miss EK.  

I do hate that Mike is spending his birthday here in the hospital with us.  We started that tradition on his 30th birthday when Ellie Kate was a little baby and on the ventilator in the PICU.  Our friend Delia held a surprise party for Mike at our house that evening, and it was AWESOME!  All our Bridgeway Church peeps and house church peeps were there (we were leading at that time).  We had tons of silly string and happiness - it was a great stress reliever for both of us.  And tonight, we spend another birthday in a hospital, this time with a different little girl.  Our friend Suzette (who works with Mike) is actually on our floor with her little girl, Kaylie.  She brought cake and balloons for Mike this evening.  Pretty amazing since she's been here for 12 days (most of those in the PICU with her little girl).  What can I say?  Each birthday, God has done something special, despite the circumstances.  

DREAMS:

Mike and I have been reflecting and dreaming quite a bit lately.  I guess it goes along with how we feel about 2014, and the feeling of newness it has brought to our family.  I was dreaming even more today as I was sitting with my Dad and Lu Lu in the ER (sitting in a windowless room with a broken remote for four hours will do that to you).  

People say to "Dream Big", encourage others to "Follow your dreams", and of course we've all heard the term, "The American Dream".  As a society, we encourage one another to go-for-it, to reach for the stars; basically saying that if we work hard enough and catch enough breaks, we can make our dreams come true.  Even Christians get in on this.  After all, there truly isn't anything wrong with dreaming big for our kids, for our families, for our businesses, for ourselves.  

But for me, my dreams haven't come true, and quite honestly, they won't - most of them, that is; not in the way that I would dream or plan. No matter what I do, no matter how hard I work, how much "luck" that's thrown my way . . . it just won't happen for me that way.  Here were some of my dreams (not necessarily in order or priority):

1. Marry the Love of my life - CHECK:)!  
2. Have beautiful, healthy children - um, they ARE gorgeous!  Not healthy by the world's standards though.
3. Be involved in our Church Body - this isn't as possible as we would like, and I find myself getting upset when we can't be at church because of illness and hospital stays.  It's just so frustrating that we can't be consistent, although we truly long to be.
4. Get involved in my kids' school, lead in the PTA, substitute, etc - Hmmmm, not possible with our lifestyle, at least at this point in our lives.
5. Serve my community - CHECK!  I truly just didn't think that we would mostly be serving in the wonderful world of special needs (but, Oh how I love it, and Oh how I wouldn't change it for anything!)
6. Live debt-free - Yeah, um this isn't possible in our forseeable future due to continued medical bills, the cost of meds, equipment, etc.  I'm not sure we will ever reach this goal.
7. Provide a home and yard where our kids can run, explore and spend most of their time outside - see above for this.
8. Adopt - oh, how we want to do this!  But the Lord wants us to focus on sweet Lucy right now (He's directly told me), as well as those amazing boys of ours.  Plus, I really don't know how we would do it financially.  
9. Go on mission trips as a couple and as a family - well, that isn't feasible to do with our life situation either. Someday, maybe.  
10. Be able to bless others financially in big ways - we long to do this, as so many have done it for us!  We wanted to do this even before we had Ellie Kate.  But God had different plans, and for now He is calling us to be "receivers" rather than "givers".  Someday, I hope to be a better giver.  

 As Believers, we have lost sight of some essential truths. You see, none of these dreams are bad or evil.  God absolutely DOES place dreams within our hearts, but they are HIS dreams.  He gives us dreams that will ultimately bring others to Him and that will bring glory.  We can have our own fleshly dreams, and they may all be good things.  But the real dreams - the ones that HE calls us to, that HE places in our hearts, that HE brings to pass, are the very best dreams to have.  They are the dreams that will come true, and no amount of work or wishing or luck will help us to make them a reality.  They will be a reality because God desires them for us and for our lives.  

What are your dreams?  Do you think they have been given to you from the Lord Jesus or are they birthed from selfish desires? Either way, surrender your dreams to Him.  God did this FOR me with our life situation, but I still have to surrender my dreams and desires to Him all the time.  Oh Friends, give your dreams to the Lord.  Hand them over to Him as a beautiful sacrifice.  He will make beautiful things out of your life; He will replace some of your dreams with bigger dreams - dreams you never would have expected!  And He has already placed some of them within your heart. Align them with your Father.  Give them over to Him for His purposes and not merely your own. 

Ephesians 3:20-21

20 Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, 21 to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

Dreams. They are not about working hard, dreaming big, reaching for the stars; it's not about luck.  It's all about Him.  

Ryan

Some Very Special Birthdays!

Today is a VERY special day for many reasons.  Today we celebrate the birthdays of several people that we love dearly:  Michael, Miss Jill and Baby Lyla.  What a special day! 

Miss Jill is Lucy's OT at Jim Thorpe Rehab.  She is in charge of Lucy's Occupational Therapy, just as she was with Ellie Kate (she is going to hide in embarrassment about me posting this, by the way, because she's just that humble - don't worry, I know she won't be mad).   Miss Jill is very special to us.  We've seen her pretty much every week for the last seven years.  Seven years is a long time, ya'll!  And of course there's the part where she has loved, taught and cared for our two special girls.  What a treasure.  Happy Birthday, Miss Jill!!  We love you so dearly. 

Another special birthday being celebrated today is the FIRST birthday of Miss Lyla Grace.  Lyla is the daughter of Lexi Ryann Hall, which means she is the granddaughter of OUR Mindy (yes, she is a young grandmother!)!  Obviously, Lyla would be special to us just because she's in Mindy's family.  But, she's come to mean so much more than that - she's become part of our healing story. 

You see, Lyla was born on Michael's birthday.  She was born less than a month from the exact day that Ellie went to be with Jesus.  And through the Lord's kindness, we were there for Lyla's birth, just as Mindy was there with us for Ellie Kate's death. 

Through the Lord's sweet direction, I was able to be in the delivery room with Lexi as she delivered baby Lyla.  I was even able to help Lexi as she had that sweet baby girl (and I loved it!)!  In less than a month, Mindy and I watched a daughter die and we watched a daughter give birth to a grandbaby.  How amazing is that??!!! 

There has been healing for all of our hearts in the life of Lyla, but Mindy and I both have had healing in the birth of Lyla.  We've shared intimate times, and God and His sovereignty have allowed us to witness both LIFE and DEATH within less than a month.  Think about that, ya'll.  Surely the Lord has done great things! Precious, intimate, life-changing things come in witnessing both of these incredible events, and I am so grateful. 

And last, but certainly not least, today is my Dear Husband's birthday!!  This man - the Father of my children, the Leader of our home, the Love of my life . . . I celebrate him today especially.  There is no other person I would rather go through this crazy journey with than Michael Wayne McLaughlin.  He makes me laugh when I don't want to (and also when I do).  His hugs envelope me and make me feel safe and protected.  His shoulders carry the burdens of a thousand men, as well as one wife.  He was born to be my husband, to be our children's Daddy.  He was born for VERY great things, and the best of those are yet to come!  How grateful I am to be matched with this man, our genetic mutations and all!  I wouldn't trade it for the world.

 It is an honor and a joy to be your wife, Michael!  I am so proud of you and I pray the Lord Jesus blesses you richly and in tangible ways this very year.  I pray that your heart is pulled towards His, and that our hearts will be knitted together even more.  I pray that this year will bring desires for intimacy with Jesus, a passion for His Word and even more opportunities for us to grow together.  Happy Birthday, My Love. 

It's hard to imagine that all three of these very important people share the same birthday.  What are the chances?!  Thank you, Father for these special people.  Thank you for bringing them into my life and keeping them there for such a time as this.  Bless them today and bless them this year.  Grow them in a deeper knowledge of you, and may they feel your love, your arms, your peace today especially.

Ryan

Our Friend Makenna

First of all, thank you all so very much for your prayers for us last week.  It's been an emotional time with Ellie's sweet wheelchair, and I've been a mess over it.  We've also been dealing with some sickness, although thankfully we've avoided the hospital! 

In one of my previous posts, I asked for prayer for our friend, Makenna Johnson.  Makenna and her family are very near and dear to our hearts.  She is a very special little girl who likes to "hop" just like Ellie Kate. 

Makenna has had a very hard time lately, and she had a terrible incident where she stopped breathing.  They were working on this little girl for over FIVE hours.  She was too medically fragile to transfer them to their regular hospital, so she's stayed at Children's Hospital in Dallas. 

When I posted, Makenna was on the oscillator (a high-powered ventilator) and was in a medically-induced coma.  Her family had one doctor even tell them that Makenna was probably brain-dead.  But, Makenna has overcome the odds.  Last week she went from being on the oscillator to a regular vent!  Then she woke from her coma and moved!  And now - now, Miss Makenna is in a regular room and out of the PICU!  Miracle after miracle. 

God's hand is mighty and he has moved on behalf of this little girl.  It is evident that he is not ready to call Makenna home.  But, her family still needs your prayers.  Makenna isn't quite herself after her incident and is having a hard time holding her little head up and doing her normal "Makenna" things. 

Here's how you can pray:

1.  Pray for continued healing in Makenna's brain and body
2.  Pray for her abilities to be restored
3.  Pray for her family as they still struggle with being apart and in the hospital
4.  Pray for wisdom for the doctors and medical team

Thank you so very much for praying for this precious family whom we love.  Friends, you are so faithful and I am incredibly grateful for each of you! 

Ryan

This Chair

This Chair . . . 

This Chair is how Ellie Kate road in our handicap-accessible van.  She rode in this chair on the bus to school.  She came home on hospice in this chair. I pushed this chair many miles, I am sure - through hospital halls and doctor offices, through parking lots and on side walks.  There is so much connection to Ellie Kate in this chair.  And tomorrow, the chair has to go back and will no longer be in our home.

We were kindly loaned the chair several years ago when we had a sudden problem with the one we were using back then.  They've let us use if for a year now, and they need it back.  We had ordered that sparkly pink chair for Ellie Kate, but she died before we got it.  So, when I think of "her chair", I will think of this blue, clunky chair that was so comfy and that Ellie loved. 

The boys took turns riding in the chair today and trying it out one last time.  I wanted them to make a lasting memory of sissy's chair, as it was so much of her identity to us.  I even sat in the chair and slowly breathed in, begging the Lord for one more smell of Ellie's scent.  But it's gone, and soon so will be this chair.   

Oh, Lord!  Oh, Lord.  My heart is broken and I am pouring it out before you tonight.  I miss my Ellie Kate so so desperately!  My heart feels as if it has been ripped out.  I know this chair wasn't a part of her physical body, but I sure am going to miss it.  Give us vivid memories of this chair, Lord.  Bring happy memories, joyous memories full of laughter and of love.  Please, heal our hearts.  We can't go on without you, Lord!

I may just have to sleep in this chair tonight . . . 

Ryan

New Beginnings and Heavy Hearts

Howdy, Friends.  It's been a while since I've posted and blogged, so I will jump right in . . .

The New Year has felt like a new beginning for me.  A victorious beginning, knowing that we truly survived a full year without our Princess.  In hitting 2014, I felt so . . . relieved and my heart was joyful. 

Last week, some of our friends took us on an AMAZING trip, which was just truly a dream come true.  There is no way we would have been able to go to this special place without God providing a way, and that He truly did!  We are so, so grateful and thankful for their generosity. Talk about reckless love.  I mean seriously - who pays for another couple to go on a trip?!  Totally amazing.  It was good to get away, to have an adventure and to just LAUGH! 

Maybe it's the "coming down" from the incredible trip.  Maybe it's the "coming down" off of the precious Month of Reckless Love, down from the wonders of Christmas, down from an entire month focused on Ellie Kate.  Whatever it is, I am just tired emotionally and physically.  And more than anything, I miss my Daughter.  I miss my Ellie Kate.  I guess that's why I was pretty much a mess today. 

Another reason for my high emotions is because of our sweet friend, McKenna who is on life support in Dallas. We met McKenna's parents, Matt and Marianne, at Lilly Haas' life celebration almost six years ago.  We've stayed in touch since then, and have gotten our girls together several times.  Ellie and McKenna are very different in their diagnoses, but they both act quite a bit alike.  Both girls would "hop" to get where they wanted to go.  Both suffered seizures, although McKenna's have become terribly life-threatening at this point.

 

We love McKenna.  She is Ellie's friend.  And we love Matt and Marianne like our little brother and sister.  Our hearts break for them as they watch their daughter hooked up to countless machines and pumps, not knowing if she will wake up or if she will ever breathe on her own again.   We are asking our "Team" (that's YOU) to step in and love them recklessly and in prayer.

Here's how to pray:

• pray for McKenna's brain to heal
• pray for her to do well on the vent and eventually breathe on her own
• pray for her to wake from her coma (at the right time)
• pray for Marley and Micah, McKenna's brother and sister, as they watch this unfold
• pray for Matt and Marianne - that God would give them indescribable peace and wisdom

My heart is heavy this evening, even though God has truly given us a fresh and new beginning with this new year.  We know He wants to heal and restore us and our relationships.  We know He wants to take us on adventures.  We know He has GOOD things in store.  And yet, even in knowing all of these good things, my heart hurts in missing my Daughter and in knowing how fragile McKenna's earthly life is at this time. 

Heavy-Hearted,
Ryan

Restoration and The New Year

Happy New Year, Dear Friends!  Yes, I am a little behind in wishing you a "Happy New Year", but better late than never, right?  Or something like that.  

I'm not big into resolutions, although Mike certainly is (and it's one of the reasons that I love him so much!). I've tried resolutions before, and I just end up messing them up and breaking those resolutions approximately two days after the new year.  By now, I truly know that they aren't for me.  

Mike and I have been praying about this coming year.  I saw that a few of my precious friends were asking the Lord to give them one word for the coming year.  I thought that sounded pretty good, so my mind started racing with different ideas of what MY word could be!  I thought just about everything, but then I came to the realization that I did NOT want my "word for the year" to be about me.  I didn't want it to be something birthed of my flesh - something that I merely wanted.  I desperately want my word (or theme) for the year to be from the Lord Jesus.  I want it to be straight from His heart and not about me in any way.  So, I gave it to Him and waited.  

Honestly, I was okay if the Lord decided not to give me a word.  Even if I didn't get a word, I am more excited about this New Year than I have ever been about one in the past.  We survived an entire year without our Princess.  We lived the darkest of days, and we made it.  I'm thrilled even with that, and knowing there's a new start and that God is up to something was good enough for me! And then yesterday, He gave me my word!  RESTORATION.  Wow.  

res·to·ra·tion

  [res-tuh-rey-shuhn]  (taken from dictionary.com)

1.

the act of restoring; renewal, revival, or reestablishment.

2.

the state or fact of being restored.

3.

a return of something to a former, original, normal, or unimpaired condition.

4.

restitution of something taken away or lost.

5.

something that is restored, as by renovating.

Amazing.  Look at all of those definitions!  Each one pierces my heart and excites my Spirit!   

After this last year, we need restoration as a family; I need restoration as an individual.  We also need restoration in relationships. I am so grateful that the Lord is truly going to be working restoration in our lives.  

With Ellie's Heavenly Anniversary, I found myself hit with all of these false expectations that I had placed on my grief and on my heart.  I think they come from society, from well-meaning family members and from those who think they are helping us by wanting us to "move on".  I found myself asking lots of questions like, "Why am I not over this? Shouldn't I be over this? Shouldn't I miraculously be better now that it's been a year?".  

I also kept thinking of history and how grief was handled throughout it.  I mean, most people were in mourning for 6-12 months.  Surely that's enough time, right?  That should be enough time for the deep grief (tongue in cheek).  After all, from what I've heard, Lady Mary starts dating a mere six months after her beloved Matthew is killed in a car accident (shameless 'Downton Abbey' reference)!  But My Friends, that is not true life.  That isn't how the heart works, for most people anyway, and certainly not for my family and for myself. 

Seeing the way our godly friends have handled grief brings so much encouragement and relief to me, in particular.  I'm realizing that there is no time-frame on grief.  There are no rules on it, and it's okay for me to feel just as broken at one year as I did the first day! God created us all differently, and we in turn mourn differently.  We just need to be patient with each other, always extending grace and mercy.  

That being said, I was thrilled with the Lord giving me RESTORATION, and I am so grateful that the Lord Jesus wants to do work on this in my life, and in the lives of my little family!  

Lord, bring your restoration.  Bring it freely and in your time.  I surrender my Spirit, my Soul, my Mind, and Body.  Restore every part.  Restore my heart.  Restore relationships.  Be the Lord over our grief, over my grief.  Be the Lord over every part of our lives.  Thank you for the privilege to mourn the beautiful life of our Daughter, Ellie Kate.  

I'm looking forward to the restoration that God wants to do in my life.  What about you?  What does the Lord Jesus want to do in your life this year?  I'd love to hear about the things He has laid on your heart!  


Being Restored,
Ryan

Fired Up and Acting On It

Tonight, I'm calling you to action - 

on behalf of special needs people and their loved ones . . .  

I admit to being a sensitive person, and sometimes words cut me to the core.  I'm also fiercely loyal, and if I feel that someone I love is being hurt, well . . . you better watch out!  Since God has birthed in me a heart for those with special needs, I am extremely protective of those who seem to be different than me physically or mentally (really, aren't we ALL a little different from each other?).  That brings me to tonight and why I need your help.

This evening, I had a few minutes by myself so I sat in bed and turned on the TV.  So many depressing things are on now days (how old do I sound?).  I flipped to the Lifetime Network and saw a show, "Kim of Queens".  Now, I have a very brief history with pageants, so this sparked my eye.  Kim seemed super funny and outgoing.  I found myself bursting out in laughter several times.  The girl is funny, ya'll.  


And then it happened . . . 

Kim was talking to her mom and sister, and called them "special needs".  Then she mockingly used her hands, acting like she was using sign language (it obviously wasn't).  I was shocked that this woman just said and did these things, and that Lifetime put it on the air!  I turned back to the show sometime later caught the very end, where once again Kim called her sister "special needs" in a derogatory manner.  WHAT?! REALLY?  DID THAT JUST HAPPEN?!  


Here's the thing . . . 

What if Kim had used other slurs to describe her mom and sister?  What if she had made other hand gestures, rather than impersonating someone who is deaf?  Well, we wouldn't see it because they wouldn't air it, and they shouldn't have aired this either.  

Miss Kim should not have been allowed to use those slurs on television.  She shouldn't be allowed to say or do those things on TV.  These things shouldn't have been aired nor should they be tolerated, just as slurs about race or sexual orientation should never be used, condoned or promoted. 

It infuriates me to see people so casually use slurs such as "retarted", which essentially is what Miss Kim was doing.  I have TWO BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTERS who are considered "mentally retarted".  Yep, it's on their medical records.  They are "special needs" Miss Kim, and I LOVE THEM just the way they are.  You bet your bottom-dollar that I get fired up when someone uses hateful language such as this.  And making mocking gestures as if you are using sign language? Miss Kim is a grown woman, a professional woman, and she should know better. Lifetime, YOU should know better than to allow something like this to air.  


Bottom Line . . . 

DO NOT use these words, people. DO NOT mock those who are different than you.  It is cruel. It is heartless. When you use these words in a hateful way, you are telling the special-needs world that they are not important; that they are "less than" what you are, which is certainly NOT the case. We are ALL created equal, and we are ALL fearfully and wonderfully made.  


What to do . . . 

Contact the Lifetime/AE Networks and let them know that this type of language isn't going to be tolerated.  Let them know that it is NOT okay to mock or call people names.  They may not have thought that the Special Needs Community would stand up, but they are wrong.  We will speak for those who cannot speak for themselves.  We will fight for those who cannot fight.  

• Website: http://www.mylifetime.com/shows/kim-of-queens/about and write in the "comments" section

• Facebook https://www.facebook.com/pages/Kim-of-Queens/211530722367631?fref=ts and let her know this is not okay

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lifetime?fref=ts to share your thoughts

• Twitter:  #kimofqueens and/or @lifetimetv and tweet your message or forward this blog post

• Email: Lifetime AE Networks - aefeedback@aenetworks.com 

I give my permission for you to share this blog post as you see fit.  

I encourage you to please be respectful and polite - the opposite of what was shown on "Kim of Queens". Let's ask them to take action and prevent Kim from using these slurs in future episodes.  Let's also let them know that the Special Needs Community is strong, and we won't let people abuse or hurt those we love.  

And just so I make my true heart known - I am not revengeful.  I truly want to stand up and show the world that these things cannot be tolerated.  I want the world to know that Special Needs people of ALL kinds MATTER.  I understand that Kim may not be aware that these are hurtful things to say and do.  She may not have thought about how those words and actions would hurt others. I know I've done that far too many times in my life as well.  No judgement here.  Just a special-needs momma calling for action, for peace, for love in word and in deed - especially (and certainly not to be limited to) those who cannot speak for themselves.  


Fired Up and Acting On It, 

Ryan