A Month of Reckless Love - Coming to an End

It's hard to believe that our month-long event, "In Honor of Ellie Kate - A Month of Reckless Love", has come to an end.  What could have been a intensely difficult month turned out to be something incredibly beautiful.

By remembering our Daughter, and by loving others in her honor, you have made our hearts come alive in such an encouraging way. We have felt your prayers, and have eagerly drank in every kind word and deed you have said and done for our family.  You have loved our family well, and we are forever grateful.

Our family has been inspired by your acts of reckless love for others.  You have loved the "least of these", giving to families in need, giving people rides, doing physical labor to benefit others; you have made meals for people, served in shelters, made gifts for families and individuals.  You've wrapped gifts for people, babysat, cleaned people's homes, and visited people in the hospital.  And who could forget the over 600 books and toys donated to OU Children's, Jim Thorpe Rehab, Wonderfully Made Ministry, and Ellie's special-needs classroom?!  You've donated time, energy, money, and love to those in need.  Each and every act of reckless love has honored Ellie Kate, and has let us know that she is not forgotten.  Ellie Kate is dearly loved and remembered.

Our deepest hope and prayer for each of you, is that you will truly know the Reckless Love Christ Jesus has for you and for your family.  Personally, there is no possible way that I could handle NKH in my daughters without the hope I have in Jesus and without the sustaining grace He gives me.  There is no way I could bear burying my Ellie Kate, nor knowing that apart from a miracle, we will one day bury Lucy Belle.  There is no way I could continue in life without the Lord Jesus and without my personal relationship with Him.

Jesus is the ultimate example of Reckless Love.  God sent His one and only son to this earth so that we might have eternal life, and that we might have abundant life here on earth.  There is no sin, no action, no deed that can separate you from the love of Christ.  His mercies are unending.  His grace is overflowing. His heart, His arms, are open to you! If you haven't accepted Jesus as your Savior, please consider doing so.  What an incredible time to give your life to Him - the New Year!  Life is so short; so fragile.  We must make our lives count.  We must give our lives to Jesus - every part of our being.  He wants to do beautiful things with our lives, just like He did beautiful things with the life of Ellie Kate!

With Jesus, there is no power in sin, there is no power in death.  We can have HOPE of eternal life in Him.  We can have HOPE of abundant life here on earth - where we will never be forsaken or alone, no matter what we go through.  Jesus is MY only hope, Friends and I want that for you as well!

Thank you for participating in The Month of Reckless Love.  Thank you for loving others without worrying about the consequences.  Thank you for loving us and for loving Ellie Kate.  Your participation in this month has moved us beyond words and has touched the lives of countless others!  Enjoy these sweet pictures of this past month!

Because of His Reckless Love,
Ryan

Ellie's Life Celebration - The Greatest of These is Love!

One year ago tomorrow, we held the Life Celebration of Ellie Kate McLaughlin.  I can't believe it's been an entire year.  Tonight, I've spent time watching the video of the service.  Oh my goodness, how beautiful it was!  Each and every part was so arranged by the Lord.  I am SO incredibly grateful that Ellie's service was so honoring to her and to the Lord Jesus.  
I was shocked with just how much of that service was focused on "Reckless Love", just like the love we've asked you to participate in during the month of December.  As John Riner so strongly said that day, "Real love is not convenient. Love is not love without sacrifice in it". 

 That so obviously reminds me of this verse, I Corinthians 13:13,

 "So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; 

but the greatest of these is love". 

Would you do me a favor?  If you haven't seen the video, would you take a look at it? It's easy - just click on this link:   Ellie Kate's Life Celebration.   I don't think you will be disapointed.  I think you will be encouraged to go out and love more deeply, with more purpose; to love recklessly.  And I think you will really enjoy the beautiful video tribute to Ellie as well.  All of the precious pictures of our Sweet Girl!  You surely don't want to miss seeing those. 

That day was huge for me as Ellie's Mamma.  It is true that mammas often dream of seeing their daughter in a wedding gown one day, walking down the isle.  They look forward to their daughter's union and the planning that takes place with it.  From early on, I knew that Ellie and I wouldn't get to have that experience together.  I knew she would never marry, nor live into adulthood.  I knew Mike and I would plan her funeral instead of helping her plan her wedding.  In all sincerity, we became okay with that reality.  God allowed this life to be given to us, and we trust Him - that includes the plannings of all weddings and funerals. 

That day was particularly special to us because it was a huge celebration for Our Daughter, and I guess the pride and emotion I felt was much like a Mamma feels for a daughter on her wedding day, as strange as it sounds.  I was SO proud of how many people came out to celebrate EKM, especially on a snowy day right after Christmas.  I was so proud of how everything looked - it was all so beautiful, and Ellie would have loved it!  Especially that dance floor - I mean, who wouldn't?!  I was overwhelmed with gratefulness that so many would jump in and help make the service beautiful, special, sincere, and intentional.  

So, today I thank you for being a part of that day with us - whether you were there in person or in spirit.  I want to thank those who worked on the photos, for those who framed the beautiful masterpieces of Ellie Kate.  I'd like to thank everyone who sang, who spoke so freely and eloquently.  I want to thank those who decorated tirelessly, working on balloons for the balloon release, working on the decorations, the dance floor and dance music;  I want to thank those who wrote letters to Ellie Kate and those who drew pictures that day.  

Thank you for those who put those precious items in a beautiful book for us! Thank you to those who worked on the photos, the frames, the music for the dance floor.  I want to thank those who made food for our family that day, and those who served the meal to us before the service.  And to everyone who did things behind-the-scenes that I don't even know about - THANK YOU!  

And lastly, I thank you for praying for us on that day, and for praying for those who led worship and those who shared God's Word.  I thank you for truly celebrating Our Daughter.  It was a celebration like no other, and I am humbled and full of emotion tonight as I look back on it with pride and appreciation.    

In His Love,
Ryan

Home

We made it home from our lovely getaway, and all are safe and sound.  Our house is in better shape than when we left, thanks to dear friends, and Mike is even back at work (he's a trooper, that Man!).  Ours was a strange Christmas, a different Christmas, but a good one.  It felt so good to get home late last night, but it also hit us again that Ellie wasn't with us, nor would she ever be again in this lifetime.

I know it sounds silly that I still have those thoughts, like Ellie Kate is never coming home again.  That should be so obvious.  But grief is a strange and cruel thing, and it hits you out of nowhere, just like a train that you don't see coming.  As we end this month of Reckless Love comes to an end, I am a mess of mixed emotions. However, I find myself even more grateful than ever for the great things God has done.

How precious and mysterious it is that God took Ellie during her birthday month, during the holidays.  As someone pointed out to me earlier this week, what a sweet thing that God called Ellie Kate Home during a time when He knew we would be surrounded with love, peace, generosity, and reckless love forever; Christmas time.

Tonight I am grateful.  My heart is truly full.  You all have blessed us so much by remembering EKM during this month, especially during this week.  Your messages, emails, cards, phone calls, FB posts have just been so uplifting to us - I can't even express how life-giving you have been to us in these weeks!  On Ellie's birthday alone, we had photos of balloon releases from MA, AZ, CA, CO, NM, KS, AR, OK, FL, AL and more!  Truly, a precious, precious thing to see.  I wish I could tell you how my heart soars as you remember our Daughter.

I want you to know that while you pray for us, we are praying for you as well.  We have hoped and prayed that your Christmas celebrations have been special, full of incredible memories, love and laughter.  With all sincerity, we love you dearly and appreciate you more than you could ever know.

Glad to be Home,
Ryan

Overflowing

It's been a while since I've written, and that's odd for me - especially during such a special, awkward and sacred time in our lives.  Writing here is such therapy for me - it helps me process my thoughts.  Even if it isn't read, I am thankful that I can put my words out there.

As you may know, our family has escaped to my favorite place in the world.  Only some of you know where that is, but I can tell you that a beach is involved.  Unfortunately, where we are staying doesn't have wifi (ugh!).  Nonetheless, I instantly, I felt peace upon arriving.  Peace with nature, peace with myself, peace from my Sweet Father-God.  Peace comes in His incredible creation.  So here we are, hiding out for these difficult days, as a family, while getting to see extended family and friends in the area.  It's been precious so far, even though my emotions have been up and down.

Here's a taste of where we are . . . 

I'm of course reliving those last precious days with Ellie Kate while we are here.  Some of the memories are very, very painful.  When you watch your loved one suffer so terribly, it really does cut you to your core.  How I wish I could have taken that earthly pain away from her!

Thursday, December 19th:  We brought Ellie home from the hospital on hospice.  The night before, Mike had stayed the night in the hospital so that I could get ready for Ellie coming home.  I walked in her room on December 19th and was struck with how she looked.  She had truly taken a turn for the worse.  Every time I tried to feed her, she would scream in pain.  She was already starting to bruise all over her body.  At that moment, I knew that we had made the right decision as her body truly was breaking down.

That evening was a hard one.  We had planned some fun and special things, but Ellie was already in rough shape.  I realized the plans I had made were just that - MY plans, and not what was best for my Daughter.  So, we played it by ear.  And we loved on Ellie as much as we could.

Friday, December 20th:  On this day, Ellie still had a bit of energy.  She tried to engage with us a few times.  She touched the Christmas tree. And, by God's goodness, our friend and photographer, Holly Hall, was able to come to take hospice photos. Ellie was going downhill so fast, and our minds were trying to wrap around that.  We obviously had never done hospice pictures before, and neither had Holly; but God was with us all, and He inspired this artist.  The result was precious pictures, some of which we've never posted.   We invited her therapists and teachers over to stay goodbye that evening.  She had a burst of energy that night, and I'm so thankful that we were able to watch her "hop" her friends out the door, like she loved to do with any visitors.  It was precious.  I will warn you now: For those that know EK, the following pics may be hard to see, as she is so unlike herself . . .

Saturday, December 21st: This day, Ellie was going in and out of consciousness.  I held her most of the day, except for the times of vomiting I had brought on by my nerves.  My friend Jenni Khufal came to visit, even though she was suffering (and still is) from a rare and serious form of cancer.  We received gifts from Miranda Lambert, Taylor Swift and Carrie Underwood - Ellie's favorites.  I like to think that she could still here us some, as well as the music we played her, and the prayers we said over her.

By that evening, one year ago tonight, we knew the end was near.  Nurse Mindy stayed with Mike and I.  We put her in bed with us, loving on her through the night.  It was the most precious night of my life.  See, Ellie never like to snuggle with me.  I think it was because we never physically bonded when she was an infant.  After all, she was on the ventilator for almost two months, then was in and out the hospital for most of that first year.  But that night, we snuggled like never before.

I will save the rest for later this weekend.  We so covet your prayers and blessings for us during this time.  As the end of our "Firsts" without Ellie Kate is drawing near, I find myself full of so many emotions, which I'm sure is normal.  I'm just glad to be in a peaceful place with my family, away from the normal and day-to-day, away from our home and those last hard memories.  I am SO GRATEFUL, friends.  God is infinitely good, and I'm only beginning to see the outskirts of His kindness.

Also, remember that the Month of Reckless Love in Honor of Ellie Kate is still going strong!  You still have time to jump in and participate with active, purposeful acts of kindness and love to those around you.  Here are a few ways you can still participate . . .

December 23rd: Ellie's Heaven Day! Post pictures of you and your family releasing PINK balloons in Ellie Kate's honor. Send messages with your balloons and be creative! This is a way to show our family that you remember our Sweet Girl.


FOR WAYS TO GIVE while receiving a tax write-off: 

*Give to the "Ellie Kate Project" through Helping Hands Ministries - This is the family medical fund, and giving goes directly to Lucy Belle's medical costs.  Although we do have good insurance coverage, many of the NKH meds and treatments are not FDA approved, and thus are not covered.  With Helping Hands, we turn in our receipts and they can pay they directly.  It's great accountability, which we are grateful for.  

*Give to NKH Crusaders and help us find a cure for this terrible disease which causes GI issues, epilepsy, extreme developmental delays, mental retardation, and more. 

*Give to OKC Hope Link OKC Hope Link- - a ministry we help lead; Hope Link reaches families of children with rare, serious and undiagnosed disorders.

Overflowing With His Love,
Ryan