The human heart is a strange thing, isn't it? We all have so much that we carry within us, within our hearts, so to speak. I know I do. And much of what's in my heart has been coming out lately, and it hasn't been pretty; cleansing, but not pretty.
My heart has been overflowing with the misery of missing my daughter. For the last few days, it truly has felt like my heart was breaking. My tears have flown and my crying out to God has been intense. I have felt angry, and that really isn't something that I've felt in a while. I think it's good, though. It's good to work through grief, although it is sometimes so ugly, so awful, so terrifying, so purifying . . .
These things have affected my physical heart as well. My blood pressure has been crazy. Thankfully, I got on some meds today and I'm praying it will all work out. It's crazy how the spiritual, how the inner-man affects the physical.
Many of you may remember that Mike's Daddy has been having heart trouble as well. Stan will have a small procedure tomorrow morning that will hopefully correct a very big problem. Our children adore their Paw-Paw, and we would love your prayers that everything goes smoothly and that everything is corrected as it should be.
Tonight, Henry is struggling with his asthma and with bronchitis. Poor guy can't get over his fever and hard breathing. He's allergic to the antibiotic that he was given yesterday, so we are waiting to hear what the next step is for his treatment. Hopefully he will rest well tonight and will soon be better. He misses his school and friends!
Thank you for standing by us. Thank you for loving us, even during the ugly times.
Ryan
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