Top Ten Ways to Love the Broken in Body and Spirit

It's no secret that Mike and I have a heart for social justice.  Our hearts bleed for orphans, for those caught in poverty, for those stuck in slavery and trafficking, for those who have been abused, for people who are hurting.  

Those who know me know that I am a big "Mercy" person, and I am sympathetic to a fault.  It's hard for me not to champion all of these worthy causes here on my blog or in our Carepage, and at times you will find me mention many of them.  However, this week I was reminded that while God has given me a heart for ALL of these things, He has given me a mission for ONE of them specifically.  That one thing is the World of Special Needs - the families, the children, the hearts and lives affected by those with serious, rare and undiagnosed disorders.  This also includes those who have children who have died.  If my heart bleeds for the other things I mentioned, it truly hemorrhages for the dear ones who face the life of loss and of special-needs.  

Maybe it's because He's called our family to live in this world.  After all, He has called us (or thrown us into) this very special world.  I am honored to be a part of both of these precious groups, although I readily admit to being overwhelmed by it all.  Although it isn't something I would choose, I am grateful for it.  You see, these are tight-knit groups full of loyalty and fierce friendship.  No one knows what we go through like those who are living it day in and day out, just like us.  We are a family.  A fraternity.  A sorority that no one would every dream of being part of.  Yet, here we are, arm in arm. 

On Thursday I was able to attend a dance recital for girls at The Children's Center here in Oklahoma City.  The Children's Center is an amazing place - a place for children with extreme medical complications to live.  Children can't live in hospitals, but when it isn't medically feasible to live at home, these little ones go to live at The Children's Center.  We have several friends who work at this incredible place and a few who live there as well.  

Lucy and I watched attentively, dancing along with the girls in their costumes, watching the them in their wheelchairs move and smile and beam with excitement.  I watched the parents beaming with pride, watching a dream unfold before their eyes - THEIR little girls were in a dance recital!  No trach, no feeding tube, no oxygen, nor wheelchair could take this away!  And my tears flowed.  

Here's a few pictures of Lucy, our friend Kelsey (who currently lives at TCC) and Ashley, our dear friend who teaches at there . . . 

So, here's the deal.  I've been impressed to encourage you and challenge you in the following ways.  Please know that my heart is one of mercy and love, and in no way am I adding guilt to your spirit.  I'm simply being obedient in reminding you of ways to pray, of ways to thank the Father, of ways to challenge you in loving well.  These are the People I am called to love, and I'm going to tell you how to love them . . . 


1.  When you feel like you are going crazy from the days' events with your children, thank the Lord that you have them living in your home.  

• Pray for the parents whose children cannot live at home, or spend extensive time in the hospital, because of severe medical issues.  
• Go visit the child who lives at TCC or the child who is in the hospital.

2.  When you roll your eyes at having to read that extra book at bedtime, thank the Father for the opportunity to have children who understand your words and who can literally see the pages of the book.  

• Pray for the parents who long to tuck their children in at night in their own homes 
• Pray for healing for those children who cannot see, cannot hear and cannot sleep in their home.

3.  When you get frustrated over making a meal for your family, thank the Lord for the money to buy your groceries (many families of special-needs children have a hard time doing this).  

• Thank the Lord that your children have the ability to eat by mouth.  
• Find a family who you can bless with a meal or with groceries.

4.  When you fret over your child's broken bone, bloody nose, scrape, or colic, thank the Father that the hurt is minor and temporary. 

•  Pray for the family whose children deal with chronic issues - those on feeding pumps, those in wheelchairs, those with trachs, those on chemo, those who have seizures, etc. 
•  Find a family you can bring a care-basket to - one full of kleenex, journals and treats that they can keep in the hospital or even at home.  
• Get them gift cards to Walgreens and CVS that they can use on prescriptions, over-the-counter meds, medical gloves, large diapers, etc. 

5.  When you sit down to plan your child's over-the-top birthday party (the one you hope to outdo all the other parents with), think about the family who no longer celebrates the birthday of their child with a party because they are no longer here.

• Pray for that family who has lost a child.  
• Send them a card or a small gift on their child's birthday, letting them know that their child isn't forgotten.  

6.  When your child is hitting their milestones and is off-the-charts in their growth, be careful before you brag about it in front of your friend who has lost a child, or whose child will never meet their milestones.  

• Pray for that family to accept diagnosis and to find encouragement in the small accomplishments.  
• Ask them questions about their child's development and praise even the smallest accomplishments whenever you see that sweet child.  

7.  When you dress your child in that fancy dress, get their hair done, dress them in the best shoes, remember your friend who is trying their best to dress their special-needs child the same way. That's right - we want our kids to look cute too! 

• Pray for the family to feel accepted.  
• Praise the child on how pretty/handsome they look.  Compliment their hair, their shoes, their clothes, just like you would a typical child.
• If you are financially blessed, give the family a gift card so that they can purchase clothes for their extra special little one. 

8.  When you make out your child's birthday invite list, or when you put that play group together, be sure to invite your friend with a special needs child.  Don't assume that they won't want to go, or can't go.  

• Pray for that family to feel included in the community. 
•  Make sure they feel part of the group by including them, even if they say "no".  

9.  When your typical (the word for 'normal' in the special-needs world) child asks questions about a special-needs little one, or about a child who has died, be honest and answer their questions.  

• Explain to them that God chose to take that little one home to heaven to no longer suffer.  
• Teach them that God allows sickness and heartache, but He also brings comfort and peace.  
• Give your children ideas of ways to practically love those in the special-needs community.  

10. Whenever you get the chance, love the people who have lost children and those within the special needs community with a reckless love, and teach your children to do the same. 

• Give financially when you are able (MOST of these families struggle with funeral costs - upwards of $10,000; most struggle with medical bills, equipment, meds, etc).
• Call, text and send cards
• Acknowledge their struggle and don't be afraid to ask questions
• Make meals or give gift cards (it's hard for families to even remember to make meals sometimes, much less have the funds or the energy to do it!)
• Hug the special-needs child.  Talk to them.  Praise them, just like you would a typical child.  Praise the parent and hug on them too (most of the time parents and children are stared at or ignored in public)!
• Do what you can to show the family and child that they are an important and valid part of your life, of your family and of the community.

I sure hope these things are helpful, Dear Ones.  Before we were in this "special world", I too needed someone to tell me these specific things.  May there be no shame, no guilt - only encouragement in ways to love better.  

Be Blessed and Love Recklessly - 

Ryan