In The Trenches

We are in the trenches, ya'll.  Lucy is sick.  I'm suctioning her many times a day and her little nose is bright red, dry and cracked.  She doesn't know how to blow her nose or cough up gunk, so she chokes on it, and it's so scary to me.  My Little Princess is just miserable and nothing is making her comfortable.  We are also having nursing issues which is frustrating in situations like this.  When we need home health the most; well, that's when we seem to have the problems.  So, Mike and I will take turns staying up all night with Lucy so that we can suction her as needed and stay on top of things as far as her care goes.

The antibiotic we started last weekend for Henry's PANDAS flare is helping SO much!  He has calmed down and we haven't seen any violence for several days.  He is back to his sweet self in so many ways!  I cannot tell you what a HUGE relief this is.  It broke my heart the other day when the school told me that they thought something was "off" with Henry because He was so calm and happy.  But you know what?  That's just the real Henry!  Our sweet boy, and people aren't getting to see the real Henry because of PANDAS and all that comes along with it.

Today, Henry's tics have drastically increased.  His tics come in vocal form and they are sporatic.  I don't know what sets them off.  I just know that something is going on in Henry's body that I do not understand.  Something just isn't working right.

Honestly, it is SO hard to truly trust the Father in times like this, here in the trenches.  I feel like I'm on my belly, crawling in the dark, with thick mud caking my body.  It's hard to see where I am going.  It's hard to even see my target.  But I will keep going and I will keep moving on because I know My God is faithful, even when I do see it or feel it.  Even when I feel so heavy; He is in control.

Are you in the trenches?  Is it hard to see what's ahead of you?  Maybe you are even having trouble hearing your Commander tell you which was to go.  You can trust Jesus.  Even in the dark.  Even in the mud.  He is with us and He will never leave.  And you know what?  Some way, some how, He will cause the trenches experience to work for your good.  He promises that for those who love Him.

*Please pray for Lucy as she's having some really hard seizures right now (Mike just came in and got me and we've given rescue meds).

Ryan