Alissa went to be with Jesus last Friday night, in her home. Much like Ellie Kate, Alissa was surrounded by the people she loved the most. A long, hard, tearful, gut-wrenching day, with a beautiful passing of a precious child. We watched, from the earthly side, as Alissa stepped into heaven. We watched, on this end, as she was set free. Oh, how I wish we could see on the other side! I prayed all day that the Lord would allow Ellie to be there to greet Alissa and welcome her Home. I pray that was the case as Alissa walked into Heaven last Friday evening.
My heart has been so broken for Nellie. I think it's because our girls are the same ages and I have many memories of them doing fun things together. Every year, it ended up that the girls had their birthday parties on the same day. But last year, we were able to attend Alissa's birthday and it was so special, even though Ellie Kate wasn't with us. Nellie and I used to walk the mall with Ellie and Alissa, and they loved it. They even did their special-needs beauty pageant together! So many fun things, although I think Ellie annoyed Alissa because she liked to pull on her thick, curly, black hair and Alissa didn't care too much for that.
Ellie Kate and Alissa on one of their Shopping Trips
Life is so short, Friends. I've attended four funerals, for four special lives, in the last two months. My heart is so heavy, and my Spirit is broken. My body aches as I think of the burdens that these mommas specifically carry, with arms that long to hold their daughters. Today during Alissa's service, I was reminded of several passages of The Bible that bring truth and comfort to my heart at this time . . .
139 O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
2 You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
3 You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.
4 Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.
5 You hem me in, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
it is high; I cannot attain it.
2 You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
3 You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.
4 Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.
5 You hem me in, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
it is high; I cannot attain it.
7 Where shall I go from your Spirit?
Or where shall I flee from your presence?
8 If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
9 If I take the wings of the morning
and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10 even there your hand shall lead me,
and your right hand shall hold me.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,
and the light about me be night,”
12 even the darkness is not dark to you;
the night is bright as the day,
for darkness is as light with you.
Or where shall I flee from your presence?
8 If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
9 If I take the wings of the morning
and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10 even there your hand shall lead me,
and your right hand shall hold me.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,
and the light about me be night,”
12 even the darkness is not dark to you;
the night is bright as the day,
for darkness is as light with you.
13 For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.[a]
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.
you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.[a]
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 If I would count them, they are more than the sand.
I awake, and I am still with you.
How vast is the sum of them!
18 If I would count them, they are more than the sand.
I awake, and I am still with you.
I do not understand why Alissa had to endure so much here on earth, but I do know that God created her in specific ways. There is nothing about her that He did not know, did not plan, or did not allow. He had a specific plan for her life, and He has a plan for her death as well, even though we may not see or understand it just yet.
And for us who are left behind with our girls in Heaven, I am reminded that God is with us always. He goes before us and even behind us. We are secure and safe in Him, even when our hearts break and our world falls apart. And in the dark times, when it's quiet and we feel as though everyone has forgotten us, our loss and our child, God is with us. He has not forgotten. His thoughts about me - about you- are precious.
And for us who are left behind with our girls in Heaven, I am reminded that God is with us always. He goes before us and even behind us. We are secure and safe in Him, even when our hearts break and our world falls apart. And in the dark times, when it's quiet and we feel as though everyone has forgotten us, our loss and our child, God is with us. He has not forgotten. His thoughts about me - about you- are precious.
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"Because of you I appreciate
the sunset more than before.
Because of you I stop to lookup at the moon and wish upon a star.
Because of you I look forward to hearing the birds sing in the morning, and thank God for their beautiful songs.
Because of you I am more understanding of others and accept people for who they are. ...
Because of you material things don't matter.
Because of you the touch of someone you love is more precious than any gift you can receive.
Because of you I have a broken heart but I thank God for sending you to me.
For there is no stronger love than I hold for you.
Until we meet again" . . .
- By J. Melia
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