Lucy is Three!

I've been bursting with joy, excited to post about our Sweet Girl this morning!  I'm just overjoyed that Lucy is OURS and that God has allowed her to live to the age of THREE! What an unspeakable blessing!

Although Lucy isn't officially our "rainbow baby", she comes very close to it.  She was only one when Ellie Kate died, and she has been a saving grace to me, to our family, in so many ways.  Lucy is the baby we didn't know we would have, but she is a blessing God knew we needed!

I remember longing for another baby, but we knew the risks - a one out of four chance with each of our pregnancies to have NKH.  Those aren't good odds, folks.  I spoke to my Dear Friend and faithful prayer partner Dana one evening, and shared with her our desires.  She committed to pray, and a few weeks later, we found out we were indeed pregnant.  How can you get pregnant on birth control?  I don't know, but Lucy is proof that it does happen! 

Early on I could feel this Sweet Baby move inside of me, just as with Ellie Kate.  10-12 weeks is early to feel a baby, but I promise that I felt those girls move that early.  I was thin with both of those pregnancies.  As soon as I felt Lucy move so early, I knew she had NKH.  I didn't want to believe it though, and we of course went ahead and did our CVS testing.

The first time I saw Lucy on that large screen in the genetic OB's office, I knew she was a mover and a shaker  She was this little sprite, all of twelve weeks gestation, moving and bouncing all around in my womb, just as Ellie Kate had done.  Mike and I had several names in our head for this girl (I knew it was a girl because of how sick I was from the beginning and I only get sick with my girls).  We saw this Baby Girl that day and knew she was a Lucy, right away.  "Bright Light" is what she was, bouncing around in there, happy and free.  And her middle name would be "Belle" after a dream God gave me of bringing beauty from ashes.  Oh, how much truth was layered in the name God had given Lucy Belle!

Lucy's birth was exciting!  I was terrified of early labor, and had contractions on and off for months.  I made many trips to Labor and Delivery.  I knew that all of our doctors, the geneticist, the NICU, etc all had to be on hand, and I didn't want to miss that window.  So at any sign of labor, I went to the hospital.  The morning of the 26th, I was tired.  I got the kids to school and went to my parents to take a nap.  I woke up frustrated and hurting, in the same labor pain that I had been in for weeks.  I stood there telling my parents that I refused to go to the hospital anymore until my water broke (which was silly, bc my water had never broken with any of my other babies).  I kid you not, folks - right then and there, my water broke!  In front of my parents, and we laughed and laughed. 

I ran to take a shower and get ready.  After all, I heard all of these stories of girls' water breaking and them having hours before delivery.  Once I got into the shower, it was clear that this baby was coming fast.  I barely got clean and we jumped into the car, Henry and mom in the back and my Dad driving us to OU Children's Hospital.  I was hurting and felt like I would have that baby right then!  This was not in our birth plan. 

We arrived and I got into a room and was already dilated to an "8".  It was less than an hour since my water had broken!  My dear, dear friend Holly Hall was able to come in and take pictures of our labor and delivery.  We had planned this because we didn't know what would happen with Lucy.  Would she stop breathing right away?  Would she cry?  Would we ventilate her?  We weren't sure about anything, but knew God would tell us during the moment.  So, we asked Holly to capture the moments that could be Lucy's first and last breaths.  I am so grateful for these treasured photos! 

A couple of pushes and a sweet cry, and this tiny blonde-haired girl was in my arms.  They let me hold her for a few moments before the team (and literally, there was an entire team in that room) took her to the NICU.  The boys were outside the door of the delivery room and they, along with grandparents, were able to see our girl be taken to the NICU in her incubator.  I stayed in that room, wondering what was happening.  It was such a strange feeling to have everyone gone and to be just me and the nurse. 

I see now that Lucy Belle McLaughlin IS our "rainbow baby", even though she wasn't born after Ellie's death.  She is a reminder that God is good, even through struggles.  The joy Lucy brings gives life and hope to my heart and to the hearts of our entire family.  I don't know what I would do without this precious, unexpected gift of "Beautiful Light". 

 

Oh Father, you are SO GOOD!  Your plans are ever-unfolding before us and they are too wonderful for our comprehension!  Thank you for the life of Lucy Belle.  Thank you for the love, joy and hope she brings to my heart as a mother.  Thank you for the light she brings to her Daddy and to her brothers.  Thank you for allowing me to love another special little girl - for entrusting me with such an incredibly special gift, design directly by you.  Your ways are not our ways, and I am so grateful.  Bless my daughter on this, her third birthday.  Be close to her heart.  Allow her to always she you physically around her, to see her angels physically protecting her.  Let Lucy know how much you love her, Jesus.  Let her grow and soar developmentally!  Let her know just how much she is loved.  Allow her to feel safe and secure.  Oh Father, I ask that you give Lucy a long and healthy, happy life here on earth.  Help us as her parents to give her what she needs and to teach her about your love for her, always pointing her to Christ.  Thank you for this precious, most Beautiful Light.