Energy - I sure wish I had the energy to blog more often, but these days . . . these days, it's been hard to even lift a finger without wearing myself out. You may have felt it in the words of my FB posts, messages, texts, emails and I'm sure you've felt it in my recent blog posts.
I have been so weary. Physically weary, to the bone. Then I had this rash pop up that was super painful. It was a nerve-type rash and I went into the doctor to get it checked out. I found out that my levels were all over the place, and my B12 was extremely low as was my thyroid. Both of these things (EACH of these things, really) can cause extreme exhaustion, lack of energy, weight gain, mood changes, nerve trouble, and so much more. I truly am grateful to have a reason behind the way I've been feeling! There is a reason why I've felt more forgetful, sometimes confused even - it all comes back to these levels. There is a plan in place for my treatment and hopefully I will get some energy back soon. I NEED it so that I can be who my family needs me to be.
Henry had all-day testing at OU Children's this week, in the Psychiatry Dept. It was intense for him, and at one point he had to stop for a quick nap (which they gratefully obliged to). I felt like I was testing too, filling out paperwork on Henry for a few hours myself. Mike and I also were able to meet with one of the heads of the department who is leading Henry's studies. It was wonderful to be able to ask questions so freely, to gain wisdom from someone who knows so much, who's seen so much through the years. The doctor was a wealth of information and is leading us to better specialists and therapists here in Oklahoma City. Would you pray that we would be able to get into these doctors and therapists quickly?
The main goal of the testing is that these professionals will come up with a plan for home and for school, among other things. These goals will be based off of the test results and the time they spent talking with and observing Henry. We were just so impressed, and I'm excited to get the results back so we can plans to put into place!
Yesterday I met with Henry's teachers and counselor. We meet quarterly (per their request) so they can stay on top of things and make sure they know everything that's going on with Henry at home, with doctors, with therapists, etc. Isn't that a wonderful thing?! We are just SO grateful for our school and for all of these wonderful people who are there for Henry, cheering him on! He's doing better than ever in school, excelling in every single thing. He's an Accelerated Reader now and he's really developing and maintaining relationships on his own! It's so special and encouraging to watch. Mike and I are just thrilled at the progress being made at school and the way Henry thrives while at school.
Although Henry is thriving in the classroom, he still has a hard time at home. This week alone, I've been hit and spat upon, among other things. Henry takes his anger, his strong and negative feelings, all out on me. I'm his safety net, and as much as I am grateful for that, it WEARS on me. In all honesty, who wants to hear, "I hate you" or "I wish you never had me", "I wish you never met Dad", and on and on and on??? I hear it every single day, and it wears my spirit down and now it's wearing my body down - literally.
One BIG thing we learned from the psychiatrist this week was that sometimes, Henry truly cannot help his outbursts because they ARE neurological misfires and imbalances. The doctor explained it so well, in ways we understood. You don't just assume that your child literally can't control their bad/destructive behavior when they are 7, but when they have trauma or when they have something like PANDAS, that's very much the case. When this happens, you CANNOT discipline it. WHAT?! Nope, you can't discipline the action that is out of their control, just like you can't discipline someone for having tourettes or tics, or even seizures (which was the example the doctor gave us). Henry's outbursts are very much like a seizures - uncontrollable.
After speaking with the psychiatrist and he counselor at school, AND on the same day, receiving information from our own doctor . . . we are now looking into trauma therapy for our entire family. Every single person has been through trauma. We've been through some trauma together as a family and we have an opportunity to work on it together as a family as well. This type of therapy would be wonderful for all of us and would quite possibly be best for Conner. Conner is our silent sufferer - our laid-back Bubba who rolls with the punches, for the most part. His heart hurts, and those hurts come out every once-in-a-while. Just like we help Lucy with HER hurts and just like we help Henry with HIS hurts . . . we need and want to help Conner with his, even if they aren't as loud as those of his brother and sister.
Leaving on Happier Notes . . .
Lucy's seizures have been very controlled this week, after the increase we had last Friday! Although she is having screaming fits (that last for hours on end), she is tolerating her feeds and has successfully gone back to school this week!
Conner, the now 12 year old, is loving like and school and anything social. He especially loves going up to the park after school with his friends everyday after school. He's still a little boy, and I'm enjoying every last moment of that. He is starting to like girls, sit by girls, go out of his way to talk to girls, but he still holds my hand and wants me to snuggle him. He is a treasure to my heart.
Henry is excelling in soccer and is thriving with the relationships being made there. The energy he spends there helps him in the classroom and at home. The confidence he gains there is priceless and it has changed him for the better!
Mike continues to work ever-so-hard for our family and we are still amazingly grateful for his company and the graciousness they've shown us through our recent journeys. I don't know how Mike works so hard during the day, then comes home to clean, fold laundry and work the night shift with Lucy. He amazes me each and every day. I'm beyond grateful for this man.
By the Way . . . I can HARDLY imagine that it's ALMOST TIME for Ellie Kate's MONTH OF RECKLESS LOVE! Starting the first of November, I will have more instructions and an Amazon Wish List for the books and sensory toys we hope to donate to OU Children's Hospital in honor of Miss Ellie Kate again this December 4th, which would be Ellie's 10th birthday. PLEASE, please, please be watching for ways to take part and get involved and we plan to honor our Daughter and recklessly love those children at OU Children's Hospital!
Thanks for your prayers, My Friends. Thank you for your continued encouragement. I run to the mailbox each day in hopes of another encouraging card because they lift my spirits so much. I'm telling you, God uses YOU to life our hearts in so many ways.
Here's to more energy and more blog posts!
Ryan
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