A Very Sick Little Girl

Our Lucy Belle - our "Beautiful Light" - is extremely sick.  There are many things that we still do not know and there are things that we are keeping to ourselves and to our family at this time.  We know you will understand our need for privacy.  

Here are some things we DO know:

• Lucy's port is infected - she has ecoli in her port/central line and in her bloodstream.  This means it is running all throughout her little body.  
• Lucy is on two strong antibiotics that will cover ecoli as well as meningitis, which is also a major concern at this point.
• Seizures last night were very rough, causing her oxygen levels to go down, as well as her heart rate.  
• Lucy was put on oxygen last night bc of the intense seizures and breathing issues
• The seizures we are seeing now are unlike any we've seen before in Lucy
• There have been major changes in Lucy's blood work, which is new to us.
• We've added Infectious Disease who is now involved in Lucy's current care since we are dealing with major infections
• We are still on contact precautions, so visits are discouraged
• We absolutely LOVE our medical team and our Attending, whom we've known for a long time.  Trusting and knowing your doctors in situations like this offers so much security, and we are absolutely grateful for God's timing in putting us with this particular team of doctors.  

A few things we DON'T know:

• We do not know which type of ecoli is growing in Lucy's body but hope to soon, as we continue blood work
• We do not know the extent of the infection, but it could be quite serious
• We don't know why her blood is doing the things that it is doing
• We don't know how long we will be at OU, but we know this could be an extensive stay (we will have been there one week tomorrow).  
• We don't know the plan of action. 

There are many things up in the air, and many decisions will be made based on blood results taken today and from those taken overnight tonight.  Once we have that information, things should start falling into place.  There may be more procedures, some intensive.  We just don't know.  

Because Lucy is so sick, Mike and I don't want to leave her with anyone else for very long.  Both sets of Grandparents have graciously come up and relieved us so we could come home and shower, grab a few things, spend time with the boys, etc. My sister has sweetly stepped in, bringing me clothes and sitting with me today which was especially emotional and worrisome. Mike spent last night at home bc he's had some big things at work, and in turn he sent me home to sleep tonight.  We haven't slept well, especially the past two nights, with all of the activity that has taken place.  We are exhausted and weary.  Sometimes I don't even know what's up and what's down, and I certainly have been mixed up on the days of the week both this week and last! That's what happens when you don't see much of the outside world.  You poor people who've been trying to communicate with me!  

I have to say, we have been loved on SO well.  From brownies being brought up to us, to balloons, snacks, fruit and even grilled salmon brought to our room (Julie and Rick Haller know the way to Mike's heart!) . . . we are blown-away by your kindness and the extent you and your families have gone to love on us.  We have NEEDED that love and encouragement.  There is no way you can get through times like these without Community, without "your people", without being lifted up by others, even those who love and don't know you well.  

Right now I'm snuggling up to Henry Mac with both dogs in bed with us.  I have clean sheets and came home to a spotless house, cleaned by precious women.  All of my piles and piles of laundry have disappeared - clean and put-away.  I cried on the way home, thinking about these people who sacrificed their time, energy and love to come and SERVE our family in these tangible ways.  Things like this, these incredible examples of reckless love, breathe life into me when I am weary.  They remind me that I am NOT alone.  They remind me that we are NOT forgotten by others or by The Father.  These acts show me, an insecure woman who worries about constantly bothering and burdening others, that I am worth loving on - not because of anything I have done or haven't done, but because Jesus lives in me!  He takes care of us and uses the Body of Christ to do just that!  

My heart hurts over Lucy's suffering and pain.  We hurt over the unknown and find ourselves a bit confused.  However, God's peace has been so thick and He has so evidently orchestrated the right people in the right positions, the right places, the right times . . . PEACE.  We don't know what the future holds.  It's all so uncertain, but we do so covet your prayers for Our Daughter.  She's been so healthy and has excelled and progressed so much, winning our hearts over and over.  I feel we still need Lucy with us as she truly is a Bright Light to us, as many of you truly know.  

Jesus, my heart cries out, even when I don't have the words to express my feelings!  I call out to you, casting my cares upon you.  You gladly take them; you ASK to take them.  My desire is NOT to give authority of Lucy's life over to you, although it is obvious that you already have authority of her life (you created her innermost being and know her better than anyone!  You even know exactly what is going on in her body right this minute!).  I'm having to CHOOSE to give her to you, because all I want to do is squeeze her in tight for years and years and years to come.  You know what's best for Lucy and I pray that you would work that out even know, healing her quickly while she is still on earth.  What a treasure she is to me, Father!  

This is a hard fight for us all and we thank you in advance for your continued encouragement, support and most of all, for your prayers (especially for Lucy's healing).  I will be slow in thanking the people have been helping and serving us, and for that I apologize now.  I will also be slow in social-media, email, texts, and calls as my attention is solely on Lucy when I am at the hospital, and I rarely want her out of my arms.  Your patience and understanding are so very much appreciated.  We will update when we are able.  

HE IS OUR ANCHOR, 

Ryan