A Huge Need for a Little Heart

My first draft for tonight's blog had to do with what God is showing me and reminding me as He is doing so in some very sweet ways.  However, this evening brought on some extremely hard things.  Henry had a melt-down - a blow-up like we haven't seen for months.  It took a few hours for things to settle down in our hearts and in our home, and we are finally all fed and bathed.  I have Sweet Henry laying here beside me in bed as I type.  This little boy who is sleeping so peacefully next to me - you would never know the turmoil going on in his precious head.

Oh, ya'll!  Behavior special-needs and mental special-needs can be so much more intense than that of "mere" physical special-needs!  I've said this so many times, but I am still convinced that parenting the Girls and managing their illnesses, is so much easier than trying to figure all of this out with Henry.  My heart breaks over and over again, not that it doesn't or hasn't with Ellie Kate and Lucy's health.  This is just different because Henry looks so healthy, so typical.   I don't have a doctor serving as our team-leader, helping us navigate through all of this, like we do with the Girls.  There is so much pressure on me and on Mike, when all we really want to do is help his little heart heal.  

Since meeting with the new psychologist, we've tapered down on several of Henry's meds.  We wanted to see where he was physically and emotionally without those strong medications,  with the hope that we could stay off of them for good (not that we are against medicine in any way, shape or form - we just want to simplify things for Henry).  We were hoping that the outbursts were gone for good - that maybe they were somehow induced or triggered by the medications.  Tonight we feel defeated in knowing that he still is  having major trouble, even off of these meds.  What do we do now?  What do we change?  Where do we go from here?  Which doctor is supposed to help us?  I just don't know.  WE just don't know.

We need your prayers.  We need the Lord to move on Henry's behalf.  We will start testing up at the school this week as we prepare Henry's IEP for next fall.  I am incredibly nervous to take Henry to school in the morning.  He has been out of school for so long because of PANDAS and that it entails.  It scares me to think about taking Henry in the morning, although I know that this must be done.  It has to be done for Henry's education and it needs to be done for the supplemental insurance we are applying for through the state.  There are so many "what if's" that I can't even go there right now!

Thank you in advance for praying for us and specifically for Henry.  We need the Lord to move in a mighty, mighty way - to show Himself strong; to show Himself as Jehovah Rapha, the God Who Heals.  We need God to show Himself as Jehovah Jireh, the God Who Provides.  We need Him to be Jehovah Shalom, Our Peace.  Father, we need you!  We are so desperate.  Step in and relieve my son from this affliction.  Heal Henry, Lord!  Give him supernatural peace as he goes to school tomorrow - even as he wakes up and gets ready for the day.  We need the peace that only you can give.  Protect Conner and Lucy as we go through these transitions with Henry.  It is so hard hard on them too, Father.  Truly, Lord - we are so very desperate to see you bring relief; to see you move on our behalf in a miraculous way.  

--Ryan