The Big Catch-Up (and recent pictures!)

In the "Old Days",  you'd see a blog post or Care Page Update every two weeks, sometimes even weekly!  Life goes on and this momma is now older and wiser (and busier), and although I don't post and share as often anymore, we do still so appreciate your support and encouragement in our roller-coaster journey.  Even when we aren't in crisis, knowing we have friends praying for us, loving us, thinking of us - it means more than you know and I don't think you fully understand until you too experience a deep, life-changing crisis of some type. 

Since Christmas, our lives have been super exciting and equally as busy.  Although I've longed to share with you God's goodness, the ups and downs, our prayer requests and heart-cries, there are several reasons why I haven't . . . mainly, we want (and need) to be private as the adoption is still taking place and isn't yet final, although major parts have been (and soon will be) ensured.

There've been other reasons such as the following

(bullet points are my 'thing' so bear with me) . . .

• Henry still being on homebound services, unable to go to school because of his severe separation anxiety coming from PANDAS. 
• PANDAS is causing major bladder issues so laundry is going constantly (seriously, do they sell professional-grade/size washers and dryers, bc if so, we need one!).  It's a full-time job and I'm not good at it.
• As with many families around the Country, we've dealt with sickness and viruses, although thankfully Lucy has been spared and we've avoided hospital stays! 
• I've received a new diagnosis and I'm continuing to learn to live with physical limitations, which I absolutely hate. 
• Conner has been in the throws of junior high, facing the emotional ups and downs while also enjoying close friendships, church youth events and sleep-overs.  We are so proud of him as he has so much to carry on his shoulders.
• Mike has even been sick this winter, which never happens to My Guy.  He's soldiered on and is working harder than ever to provide for us.  I'm thankful he loves his job and loves who he works with too! 
• We've been blessed with new home health nurses and although it takes some adjusting, having new personalities in your home, we are thankful for the help, knowing Lucy is cared for overnight, esp since she's on continuous feeds and has more seizure activity at night.  She loves her new nurses but has missed school bc she likes to stay up ALL NIGHT with the nurse, playing, singing and calling out (which we love to see and hear but she also needs to get back into routine; Little Miss Sass).
• Hope Link, the Foundation we started in honor of Ellie Kate back in 2009, has grown by leaps and bounds and we are enjoying cultivating relationships with new families!  Doing life with families like ours, families with medically fragile children and families who have also buried their babes; it's just something more precious than I can explain.
• My computer has broken a million times and with a shattered screen, I still attempt to use it on a daily basis.  It shuts down multiple times during use and it beyond frustrating.  I will say that being unable to use a computer has brought a new freedom which is great!

Of course, one of the main reasons it's been hard to update is because we are now a family of seven!  We now have FIVE children, one in heaven and four living on earth.  It is WONDERFUL, PERFECT, HAPPY and even PEACEFUL, and that can only be from the Father!!  We are so enjoying our Bowen Jane and she is bringing light and life to deep, broken and dark parts of our hearts.  The Lord is using this Little Girl to awaken us again in many ways and it's so good to FEEL again and to have the JOY that new life can bring. 

Bowen Jane, age 2 weeks

First pic of the gang of four (notice Lucy's not-so-happy face)

We are in LOVE

Since bringing Bowen Jane home on that beautiful, grey Christmas Day, I've learned quite a few things (again with the bullet points - sorry) . . .

• Having a baby at (almost) 39 is SO much different than having a baby at 25 (and I didn't physically give birth)!
• I'm older and wiser as a momma, purposefully trying to treasure each and every moment, every smile, every coo, every cuddle while also seeking advice from fellow adoptive mommies.
• Mike and I are continually reminded (as in, every few moments of the day) just how precious and miraculous life truly is! A "healthy" baby is miraculous and we do NOT take it for granted.
• Big age gaps in siblings isn't a negative but rather a gift.  I love watching Conner esp holding and kissing Bow and Henry comforting her and singing to her each day.  It's just the beginning of their relationships too - happy tears fill my eyes when I think about the precious things the boys get to experience with this little girl in the future!  They are already stunned at everything she can do - her purposeful movements, the way she can look them in the eye, the way she eats her bottle - all things their other Sissy's just weren't able to do.  I am in awe of this Gift!! 
• Life should be simplified and we're working on doing just that - it's beautiful and brings peace; we hope it's something the boys will carry on with them always.
• Our red handi-van is now officially TOO small for us!  Although God DID give it to us when we also had four children in our home, the boys are much bigger (Conner is taller and heavier than me!) and don't show signs of stopping. We've had this grand vehicle for around six years and God literally brought it to our door!  He alone provided for us before, and He will provide our next vehicle as well. 
• Rooming with a baby is heaven on earth for me!  Since we don't have a bedroom for Bowen Jane, she will be in with me and Mike which is something now recommended (babies rooming with parents for the first year at least).  The tight room has inspired us to simplify even more:)
• Lucy has taken on the role of Big Sister and she's doing a great job.  My fears have fallen to the wayside and although she still sometimes turns her head from me and Bowen, occasionally refusing to kiss the baby or her momma, she is GENTLE and soft when she does touch and kiss her Baby Sister, just like Ellie Kate did with her. 
• All of a sudden, Lucy is no longer a baby.  She's a little girl and reminds us more and more of Ellie Kate each day.  Some of her baby-happiness and joy seems to be gone, which breaks my heart and I wonder where it has gone.  She sits deep in thought although she still busts out with deep giggles when we least expect it.  This seems to have happened overnight or maybe it's bc I treated Lucy like a little baby for so long - really, up until Bowen came home.  She's wanted to be a big girl and now she is but there is a twing of pain and heartache that comes with knowing she's growing up as well as fear of the unknown for her health and her future.
• It feels SO good to have FOUR children in our home, in our vehicle, in our bed, in our arms again. 
• She's still gone.  Even though we have four babies again in our home again, our Consecrated Princess is STILL missing.  Ellie Kate will always be missing and our hearts will always ache for her, long for her and we will always notice the hole her presence has left here on earth. 

Lucy, age five

Ellie Kate, age 7

Life changes so quickly, TOO quickly, as so many of you already know.  It's a beautiful, precious gift we've ALL been given, so I encourage you to drink in each moment.  Savor it.  Bathe in it.  Stop surviving and enjoy life; make the changes you need in order to do just that.  Simplify and teach your children to do the same.  Love each other and your family well.  Serve one another and those in your community - you will never regret giving yourself away to your "people", your tribe, your family, your community in which God has placed you. 

Thank you for allowing me to share our life journeys with you.  Thank you for continuing to come back and check on us, loving us so well.  Mike and I look forward to updating you SOON with photos and stories of God's faithfulness throughout Bowen Jane's journey into our family! 

All of Me

The Beauty that is Adoption is so much richer, so much deeper, so much sweeter, than I ever thought possible - and we are just at the beginning of it all!  As you may remember, Mike and I have always had a heart for adoption and God so clearly stirred our hearts deeply towards it again, especially last December.  Here we are, a year later, with a Baby Girl in our arms - this Most Precious Gift; an unspeakable gift, because I could never fully put into words just what Bowen Jane means to me, to us, and we've only had her in our arms less than a month! 

Bowen Jane

"Small, Victorious One who is Our Gracious Gift from God"

Those who know me know that I am quite empathetic (to a fault) and one of my main Spiritual Gifts is "Mercy".  My heart bleeds for others and I often feel deep emotions when others hurt.  Even so, I don't pretend to begin to understand adoption and the many layers it holds.  There are so many emotions for the adoptive parents, for the bio mom especially; emotions for the extended  family, for siblings on both sides; it's a ripple effect.  Its deeper than I ever thought, messier than I ever imagined and affects you in ways you don't always understand.  We WILL TAKE IT!  All of it, we will take it, with open arms and happy, humble hearts.  Even though we still hurt for our birth mother (and now friend), even though anxiety rises as the relinquishment date approaches, even with the financial changes it's brought to our family - we will take it and CHOOSE it, a million times over! 

When Ellie Kate was four, before we were pregnant with Lucy, I took her to school one day and heard a song on the radio along with the story behind it.  It was the story of Matt Hammitt and his son, Bowen.  It's where I first heard the name and it's meaning, and Matt shared of their fears and heartache as they've navigated through life-threatening heart issues with their sweet baby boy.  Tears flowed when I heard that song because it so beautifully related to what we felt for Ellie Kate.  The song Matt wrote in response to this specific time in their lives is called, "All of Me". 

Ellie couldn't tell us that she loved us.  She never was able to look us in the eye and at that time, couldn't really hug us or show much emotion toward us.  We knew her life was fragile and we adored her, even though we very rarely got anything in return (don't you know God must feel the same way about us?).  Because of God's love for us, Mike and I loved (love) Ellie Kate and gave (still give) her our hearts forever, regardless of the hurt or pain we knew might come, would come, could come, did come. 

Similarly, our hearts are vulnerable with Bowen.  At this time, up until relinquishment, we are not promised to be her forever family.  We are not promised to even be in her life, even though she is now in our arms.  Things can change in a moment, even up until the end, and while we don't believe things will change, there is still a chance.  That's scary and has brought me terrible anxiety.  Wildly worse anxiety than I have ever experienced.  Adoption is a very vulnerable place to be, no matter what side of it you are on. 

Yesterday, as I was driving, the VERY first song that came on was that same song from Matt Hammitt, "All of Me".  The radio personality even went on to share about Bowen Hammitt too.  I was BLOWN AWAY by God's timing (Which is so silly, seeing all He has done!).  I knew it was God comforting my heart. 

This song has come to mean so much to me, and I want to share it with you.  It is a beautiful reminder for me with all of the children God has entrusted to me - the Even if you don't believe in God, even if you don't have a personal relationship with Jesus, you can still relate to this song - esp for those of us who have children with "terminal" diagnoses, those who are medically fragile, those with any type of special needs.  We, as parents, choose to love with our WHOLE BEING, even if it is hard, even if it is scary, NO MATTER WHAT. 

I share the words of this song with you today as well as a link so you can listen to it (it's totally worth listening to!).  Thank you for sharing in our journey and for loving us as we travel this new road.  We are so grateful for such support friends and especially for those fellow adoptive families who have chosen to walk beside us, teaching us all about the ins and outs of this precious subject God calls ALL BELIEVERS to participate in and with. 

We can't wait to share more pictures and details with you soon!
Ryan

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"All of Me" - Video Link; LISTEN HERE:  https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=Matt+Hammit+All+of+Me&Form=VQFRVP

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All of Me, Lyrics -

Afraid to love

Something that could break

Could I move on

If you were torn away

And I'm so close to what I can't control

I can't give you half my heart and pray he makes you whole

You're gonna have all of me

You're gonna have all of me

'Cause you're worth every fallen tear

You're worth facing any fear

You're gonna know all my love

Even if it's not enough

Enough to mend our broken hearts

But giving you all of me

Is where I'll start

I won't let sadness steal you from my arms

I won't let pain keep you from my heart

I'll trade the fear of all that I could lose

For every moment I share with you

You're gonna have all of me

You're gonna have all of me

'Cause you're worth every fallen tear

You're worth facing any fear

You're gonna know all my love

Even if it's not enough

Enough to mend our broken hearts

But giving you all of me

Is where I'll start

Heaven brought us to this moment

It's too wonderful to speak

You're worth all of me

You're worth all of me

So let me recklessly love you

Even if I bleed

You're worth all of me

You're worth all of me

You're gonna have all of me

You're gonna have all of me

'Cause you're worth every fallen tear

You're worth facing any fear

You're gonna know all my love

Even if it's not enough

Enough to mend our broken hearts

But giving you all of me

Is where I'll start

You're gonna have all of me

You're gonna have all of me

'Cause you're worth every fallen tear

You're worth facing any fear

You're gonna know all my love

Even if it's not enough

Enough to mend our broken hearts

But giving you all of me

Is where I'll start

It's where I'll start

Songwriters: BERNIE HERMS, MATT HAMMITT

© Warner/Chappell Music, Inc.

For non-commercial use only

When You See His Hands and Feet

2017 - A New Year is upon us, and it hardly seems possible.  I think I say that every year, but I genuinely feel that each and every time the clock strikes midnight on New Year's Eve, when Ellie Kate's "Month of Reckless Love" comes to an end.  I hate seeing it go - December, that is. 

This year, it was hard for me to jump into Ellie Kate's month, hard for me to get things organized, hard for me to put out our requests.  I think part of it is because we have been sharing with all of you for eleven years now.  That's a long time to be an "open book" and it's a long time to be vulnerable, opening yourself up and admitting your needs, weaknesses and troubles of this world.  This is, however what God has called us to do, to continue to do, sharing the ups and downs of people who love Jesus and also go through extreme difficulties.  Thank you all for your patience with us as we changed things up this year in celebration of Ellie's life, while also preparing our  hearts for adoption.  

Even though it felt chaotic to us, I know God has been in control.  We know this because we've literally sat back and watched God at work, forming relationships and working things out so that this little baby girl could come to be part of our family.  Not only that, He CLEARLY worked out the details for the outpouring of service during Ellie Kate's Month of Reckless Love, and more detailed items were given and shared than ever before!  Having a specific family to donate to, to provide for, has been such a joy for us to witness and I am just thrilled to fill you in on it all! 

Mike and I do so want to protect this sweet family which God has led us to "adopt" for Christmas and for Ellie Kate's Month of Reckless Love this year, so with that in mind we'll continue to keep their details private. However, I absolutely want you to know just how incredible and detailed your gifts have been and how deeply they have touched this particular family and ours as well!  I am THRILLED to tell you, because of YOU and your generosity, the following has been donated during this season (both new and used items): 

• New mattresses for mom and three children
• New bedding for mom and children
• New sheets for mom and children
• New mattress pads for all four, which is important bc they've dealt with bed bugs in their apartment complex before
• Furniture for their apartment, including a kitchen table, which they've never had before AND a gorgeous couch!
• Beautiful bed for Mom and eldest daughter (the kids have been sleeping on the floor)
• Floor lamp, rugs and home accessories
• New crock-pot
• Gift cards for groceries, clothing, restraunts, shoes, household items
• An entire Pantry-full of food and dry-goods was given including detergent
• Feminine products
• New, soft blankets for each member of the family (something they needed)
• Socks, gloves, coats, and hats for each member of the family
• Shoes for several members of the family
• Clothing was donated
• Warm Robe for mom
• Monetary gifts allowed bills to be paid, including electric bills, so that heat could stay on!  Basic needs could be taken care of because of one large financial gift. 
• A new laptop for the teenage daughter, which she can use now in high school and can take with her to college (they've had no computer access except when they go to the library)
• Games for the family to play together
• A camera and video camera for mom, which was her main wish.
• Pajamas for all family members, soaps and shampoos, razors, etc
• A few toys for the 8yo son and teenage toys for the girls, including make-up and nail polish
• Hair services for mom and daughter (they've never had this before)

More importantly, we have friends trying to help Mom get a job there in Shawnee and  we've contacted a few precious churches so that the family will be followed-up with on a regular basis. 

Our prayer is that the family will continue to see the Love of Christ in Action, through His Body, there in their town.
 Our desire is that Jesus' reckless love would capture their hearts and minds so greatly that their lives will never be the same after this "Reckless Love" experience!  

Equally as important to us has been the giving spirit you've shown towards our fellow NKH Families, in honor of our Daughter.  Each and everyone of the gifts we listed were purchased and given to the families!  Not only that, a precious Sunday School class further adopted one of the NKH families and provided incredible gifts and needs for this family who is dear to us.  

How in the world do we even BEGIN to thank those of you 

who've given to these two projects?  

How do you pour out your heart and express your thankfulness for 

something done in your dead Daughter's name, in her honor?  

There are SO many people to thank and many of them would be embarrassed at me mentioning their names. These blessed, giving hearts - many of whom have sacrificed in order to give in honor of Ellie Kate, in order to take care of the basic needs of people they don't and haven't even met!  What love and compassion must lie in the hearts of those who have given!  There are many of you who have wanted to give but just weren't financially able to.  You've come along beside us anyway, encouraging us and reaching out.  Most importantly, so many of you have prayed intensely, interceding on behalf of those God has laid on our hearts this season.  

When Mike and I married, our friend Laura Ramey sang "How Beautiful" at our wedding, which describes the Body of Christ being the hands and feet of Christ.  It was truly a prayer we shared because we wanted our marriage to be a picture of just that.  God has been gracious and because of our story and because of what we've been through, because of Ellie Kate, others have been inspired to love others with reckless abandon, giving and serving without expecting anything in return.  

I was reminded of this sweet song and although it most definitely IS "Old School", I ask that you take the time to listen to it.  I think the Lord will touch your heart, reminding you of what Jesus did for you while He was here on earth, fully in human form.  I hope it will remind you of the beauty of YOUR hands and YOUR feet as you continue to love without expectation.  

 "How Beautiful" - you tube version

A Prayer for You this New Year . . . 

We thank you for involvement in this past month in which we honor Ellie Kate!  We thank you for your continued encouragement as this time of year still has a deep sting and frosty bite.  We pray that the Father would bless you so richly this year, this 2017 - that you would know Jesus more deeply, that he would capture your heart in incredible ways; we pray that you would see, feel and hear him (even literally) in this New Year and that He alone would be glorified in that!  We pray too that this coming year will be full of sweet moments and memories with friends and family and also sweet memories with the Lord, as you open your heart to hear from Him.  

With Hope and Thanksgiving, 

Mike and Ryan

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Adoption - thank you for your precious words and encouragement as we continue the adoption journey with our Bowen Jane!  We have NO doubt that God has chosen her to be our daughter, esp after being born on Ellie's exact Heaven-Day.  There is just so much more involved within this process than we ever knew, more than I especially ever knew or understood and it's taken it's toll on us emotionally and physically.  We covet your prayers for a safe continuation of the adoption process and that all will fall into place quickly and easily.  As in times past, we will CHOOSE to trust that God has this under His control.  

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How Beautiful, Lyrics

Twila Paris

How beautiful the hands that served
the wine and the bread
and the sons of the earth.
How beautiful the feet that walked
the long dusty roads
and the hills to the cross.
How beautiful
how beautiful
how beautiful is the body of Christ.
How beautiful the heart that bled
that took all my sin
and bore it instead.
How beautiful the tender eyes
that chose to forgive
and never despise.
How beautiful
how beautiful
how beautiful is the body of Christ.
And as He laid down His life
we offer this sacrifice
that we will live just as he died:
willing to pay the price
willing to pay the price.
How beautiful the radient Bride
who waits for her Groom
with His light in her eyes.
How beautiful when humble hearts give
the fruit of pure lives
so that others may live.
How beautiful
how beautiful
how beautiful is the body of Christ.
How beautiful the feet that bring
the sound of good news
and the love of the King.
How beautiful the hands that serve
the wine and the bread
and the sons of the earth.
How beautiful
how beautiful
how beautiful is the body of

REDEMPTION! The Lord has done GREAT things and we are FILLED with JOY!

"Yes, the LORD has done amazing things for us! 

What joy!"

Psalm 126:3, NLT

Four years ago today (Dec 28th), we attended a service with many of you - the Celebration of Ellie Kate's Life, full of dancing, pink balloons, cookies, and even art.  We heard from precious Elders and Pastors who spoke life to all of us through God's Word.  We worshiped the Lord together, and collectively thanked God for Our Daughter's Beautiful Life - a life so short and yet a life that left a daily impact upon me as her mother, and a life who left an impact on so many of you as well.  Watch Ellie Kate's Life Celebration Here: EK Life Celebration 2012

During the time of mourning and healing these past four years; during this time of soul-searching, learning who we are in Christ, learning God’s character . . . we’ve heard so much.  

 We've heard about God's faithfulness and of His goodness.  

• We've been told that, "Everything happens for a reason" and that Ellie Kate's death wasn't purposeless or "In vain".
• We have heard of His Providence and that NOTHING can happen outside of what He allows or even causes
• We've heard that God knows our hearts and our desires and that He even places certain desires in our hearts; that He FULFILLS the desires of our hearts that will bring Him glory and those that will be for our good.
• We've been told of God's radical, reckless love for us and for our children - of His love for ALL of our children, even the little girl who suffered and died.
• We have heard that God will cause ALL of this - the good, the bad, the ugly - to work together for OUR good and for HIS glory, and that the same is true for our children.



But in all of this, what DO we believe and why?

 Do I still stand by what I've said I believe and that which

I believe God to has shown me in the past?

Has God changed? 

• I don't pretend to have tasted the worst this life has to offer.  All I know is what we've been through and what we've faced and that, has felt like a spiritual death, a mental death, an emotional death so many times over, and if it weren't for God's faithfulness and for the Hope He gives us through eternal life, we would have succumb to these trials in some way, shape or form.  

• We have felt like we've walked through the Valley of the Shadow of Death (Psalm 23:4).
• At times, we've felt abandoned by God and haven't felt His presence.  We've had to learn to choose to trust Him, trust His promises, because nothing else has made sense.  Lord, I believe!  Help my unbelief (Mark 9:24)!  
• We have truly experienced "groanings too deep for words (Romans 8:26)", and I know so many of you can relate to this deep crushing of your spirits.  
• We've wondered if God would fulfill His promises - if He would indeed cause things to work for our good, for the good of our living children (we know He's worked it for Ellie Kate's good bc she is complete and whole with Jesus).

Where we've experienced "groanings too deep for words", we are now experiencing JOY too immense of human definition.  

Where we've walked "through the Valley of the Shadow of Death", we are now skipping through the mountaintops of new life and new beginnings!  

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There are people reading this today and God has a message for some of you.

 It’s a clear message:

Sweet Momma, Our Father-God wants you to know that He IS working intimately and intricately on your behalf and on behalf of your children.  You will see His Victory soon and you will see the goodness on behalf of your children!

Struggling Daddy, Our Good, Father is taking care of ALL of your needs - emotional, mental and physical, so listen to His voice.  He's taking care of your precious children too. You will see His Victory soon and you will see the goodness on behalf of your children!  It will be better than you could ever have planned!

 

On December 23^rd 2012, Ellie Kate left this earth to spend eternity with Jesus. 

 On that day four years ago, we held Ellie for the last time and it took my breath away, as I watched them wrap that sweet body in a white sheet, carrying Ellie Kate out to a van and driving her away from us forever. 

On December 23^rd, 2016, Bowen Jane McLaughlin was born into our family through adoption.  This past Friday, God took my breath away when I witnessed our fifth child being born; when the doctor wrapped Bowen Jane in a white blanket of sorts, and handed her to me to hold forever.  On Christmas Morning, we welcomed Bowen into our home.

Who, but God could make this happen in such an extraordinarily exquisite way?!  Better than we could ever dream up or ever begin to hope. 

Without yet going into details, I can tell you that we are going through a private attorney, who is a precious Believer and friend.  Through God's goodness, we were connected to the birth mom through one of Ellie Kate's former home health nurses.  NO doubt, Ellie Kate has played a big role in all of this and we wouldn't have our Bowen Jane without our eldest daughter, of that we are sure.

This most certainly came to us, out of nowhere, although we had publically expressed our desire for adopting and had shared the things God so fiercely laid on our hearts, burning it even brighter starting December 18th, 2015, when He led me to post about it on FB.  

The process has involved friends and strangers, Believers and those who do not know the Lord yet personally.  We’ve become close to our Birth Mom and to her little family.  Mike and I rest, knowing we have literally stood back and watched God at work.  We haven’t pushed or prodded or even sought things out.  We’ve sought godly counsel from our Home Church, from Dear Friends, from other parents who’ve gone through adoption, and from parents who’ve adopted after burying a child with special needs.  God has so literally surrounded us with a great cloud of fully-knowledgeable people who’ve spoken truth into our lives during these last many months.

  

 

 

REDEEM: to buy back, repurchase; to get or win back. 
 To repair or restore.

Through these four short years, moments of which have seemed agonizingly long, God has shown Himself to each of us in real ways, and the greatest way He has done that is through the birth of Miss Bowen Jane McLaughlin, this perfect baby girl who was born on Ellie Kate's Fourth Heaven Day, December 23th.  

She is Our Daughter, whom God has called us to adopt,
Our Daughter whom God has so clearly given to us! 

While so much of Our Journey remains a mystery, with confidence,

I CAN tell you the following . . . 

• For the Believer, God REDEEMS that which has been lost. God redeems us as humans, giving us eternal life with Him and abundant life here on earth.  God REDEEMS the broken things - the things we break on our own, because of our sin.  He redeems the things stolen by this broken, evil world

• God IS GOOD, even when it doesn't feel like it, ESP when it doesn't feel like it or when you can't see it.
• God IS working it all for your good, for the good of your children, for the good of ALL who love Him.  You can trust Him, no matter what, even if you must CHOOSE to trust. 
• God doesn't think any less or any different of you when you question Him or when you choose to trust (when you don't feel like trusting), or even when you or can't feel Him.  This doesn't make you any less of a Believer.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• 
  
  
• 
  
   Your Father loves you the same, no matter what you say or what you do!  There is NOTHING that can change His amount of love for you nor the giddy, passionate way He feels about you as His Child! 
• God listens to the desires of your heart, Friend.  Oftentimes, He places those desires IN your heart so he knows them before you do!  God WILL fulfill those beautiful desires, the ones which seem so impossible, the ones you know that the Father-God gave to you.

 You just wait and see, Friends - if He's done it for us, He will do it for you.  REDEMPTION.  He WILL redeem what you are facing, what you've been through and what you will soon go through.  He WILL turn mourning into dancing, just as He promises for us as Believers.  Don't lose hope.  CHOOSE to believe Him, even when you don't feel like it

(esp when you don't feel like it), Mark 9:24.  

Conner, Meeting Ellie Kate for the first time - Dec 5, 2005

Bowen Jane, Going Home - December 25, 2016

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Our hearts are overflowing with humbleness, with gratitude,

with thankfulness as we look in awe at God's Providence. 

Will we still hurt?  Absolutely, and I imagine we will hurt even more deeply than we've experienced thus far, as reality sets in and we come to know that Ellie Kate won't get to love on or play with Bowen here on earth.  Bowen Jane the only sibling who won't have a chance to remember EK and wasn't able to see her in her earthly body like the others.  I find myself accidently calling Lucy, "Ellie Kate" during these last days bc it seems so similar to what we've already faced.  Ellie was just this size, just the same, when we brought Lucy home.  There will be many things that will be difficult in the days to come, and we aren't ignoring that.

We KNOW the heartache will continue and we know that Satan will come to steal our joy and our hope.  We KNOW too though, now more than EVER before,

how FAITHFUL AND TRUE Our God is!

We thank you for your continued prayers over this month of December - a month so full of heartache and now joy, as well.  We thank you too for your many texts, calls, emails, and messages as you've encouraged us with your words during Ellie Kate's Month of Reckless Love. 
 Thank you for saying her name, “Ellie Kate”.  
Thank you for sharing her story. 
 Thank you for recklessly loving, serving and giving to those around you!  

Miss Ellie Kate McLaughlin

If you ever have doubted God's existence, look upon Our Story.  HE.IS.REAL. He is active and alive; He is good Father.  Soon, you will be here in our position, telling others about His goodness and the fulfillment of His promises!

Ellie Kate, Dec 2005

Bowen Jane, Dec 2016

  

We are proof though, that God WILL, CAN and DOES so gladly take the Broken and make it into something more beautiful than anything ANYONE in the world could ever, possibly imagine!!!

"Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, 21to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen", Ephesians 3:20-21

 With Our Love and with Thanksgiving beyond Description,

Mike, Ryan, Conner, Henry,
Lucy Belle, Bowen Jane (and Ellie Kate from Heaven)!

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Many sweet friends have asked about end-of-year giving, so with that in mind, we share the following information (simply click on the links below):

• NKH Crusaders - Supporting Research - funds donated go solely toward NKH research at the University of Colorado and Denver Children's Hospital, or the research efforts at Notre Dame University, and/or the new research efforts at Boston Children's Hospital

• OKC Hope Link - the 501c3 God led us to start in 2007,  ministering to families whose children suffer from rare, serious and undiagnosed disorders / outreach to families who have lost children due to disease or illness
• McLaughlin Family Medical Fund - through Helping Hands Ministries, a 501c3 which pays medical bills directly or reinmburses via medical receipt (seen under 'Ellie Kate Memorial Fund').