Sunday, April 29, 2018

All the Hurts - Crying Out


"And now, my soul is poured out within me; 
Days of affliction have seized me.  
At night, it pierces my bones within me, 
and my gnawing pains take no rest." 
Job 30:16-17


Grateful for a Life Well-Lived . . . 
It's been a blur, these last few days and weeks.  Last week, Mike's Daddy died.  It's hard to take that in.  It's hard to believe it, to be honest.  Stan was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer last October.  He underwent treatment in Norman, Oklahoma but after visiting several cancer centers, he and his wife Jayme (Mike's Momma) decided to seek treatment in St. Louis, MO.  Drew, Mike's little brother, lives in St. Louis with his family and they assisted Stan and Jayme as they moved and began treatment there in Missouri.  

Stan underwent surgery where they took out part of his tumor and reversed the ostomy bag which was placed last October.  So, unfortunately, Stan became septic and also contracted c-diff, a serious infection in the intestines.  He was moved to a wonderful hospice center on a Friday and died just a few days later, his wife by his side.  

Mike was able to drive and be with his daddy during those last days.  The day following my minor surgery, I was able to fly out to St. Louis, also spending a few days with Stan.  Henry went with me, taking care of me on the trip.  He truly was exceptional and I think it was a gift to Jayme and Stan to have him there.  Mike's sister, Jenny was also able to come in with her husband, Greg.  Every one of Stan's children was able to talk to him, laugh with him and cry with him.  Stan's sister and brother also drove in from Oklahoma and were also able to spend time with their brother.  It was a bittersweet time as we watched the natural give way to the supernatural.  



What brings me hope is knowing Stan has the promise of eternal life through Christ.  He's now with his Momma, who passed away just a couple of years ago, as well as with other friends and family, including Ellie Kate.  Ellie LOVED her Paw Paw and, OH!  How I wish I could have witnessed their reunion!  It makes me so happy, knowing Ellie has her dear grandfather now with her.  A celebration of Stan's life will take place this Thursday, May 3rd at 11am and will be held at Bridgeway Church in OKC.  
Below is a tribute I wrote for Stan, whom I dearly love . . . 



Stanley Wayne McLaughlin
Obituary by Ryan McLaughlin

Stanley Wayne McLaughlin was born in Las Vegas, NV at Nellis Airforce Base to Joy and Sterling McLaughlin. After a valiant battle with cancer, Stan left this broken world in St. Louis, Missouri, with his faithful wife, Jayme by his side. Because of Stan’s personal relationship with God, he had no fear in death, having full assurance of a perfect, peaceful, eternal life with his Creator.

“Stan the Man” is survived by the Love of his Life, his wife of 45 years, Jayme Gresh McLaughlin; sister Jill McLaughlin Bougie, husband Larry Bougie and family; brother Steve McLaughlin and wife, Brenda and family, all of Northeast Oklahoma. Stan also leaves behind three children - Jennifer McLaughlin Sutherland (husband, Greg Sutherland) of Dallas, TX; Michael McLaughlin (wife, Ryan Elizabeth Tully McLaughlin) of Oklahoma City, OK and Andrew McLaughlin (wife, Elizabeth Benoist McLaughlin) of St. Louis, MO. Stan was the perfect “Paw Paw” to his many grandchildren, who would follow him like the pied-piper. He was their endless playmate and will be terribly missed. Stan’s grandchildren include Aimee, Scott, Sam, Gabe, and Emalee of Dallas; Conner, Henry, Lucy, and Bowen Jane of OKC and Andrew, Matthew and Molly of St. Louis.

Stan is preceded in death by his mother, Joy McLaughlin, and father, Sterling McLaughlin as well as his beloved granddaughter, Ellie Kate McLaughlin. We have no doubt, their heavenly reunion was more precious than we, on earth, could imagine!

A natural athlete, Stan played basketball at Nathan Hale High School and went on to play at the University of Tulsa, graduating with a B.A. in Marketing and Management. While his children played sports, Stan served Midwest City high school by filming games for the team. During his time on earth, he worked as a salesman for Kraft, and in most recent years, worked as a Realtor for Keller Williams, partnering his wife, Jayme. He loved being a realtor and excelled at making friends and selling homes. Stan never met a person he didn’t like and was always quick to make others feel comfortable, especially with his gentle-giant countenance and silly humor.

Stan McLaughlin loved the Lord Jesus with his entire being, having surrendered his life to Christ at an early age. He had a deep desire to study God’s Word and spent years involved in extensive Precept Bible Studies, also leading various Precept classes at Bridgeway Church in OKC, where he and Jayme faithfully attended and served Communion, over many years.

Along with a great love for OU Football, Stan Musial, and The Beatles, Stan’s life and example lay out a beautiful legacy of faith in Jesus Christ and a sincere love for others. Stan leaves a breathtakingly beautiful legacy of marriage with his Bride Jayme, who is his very best friend and finest confidant.

“Faithful” - when we think of you, Stan and share your stories and say your name, we will remember you as this... Stan: a faithful friend, faithful worker, faithful Christ-follower, faithful husband, faithful father, and faithful son. Your example of faithfulness in your happy marriage will live on for generations to come. Your dedication and hard work are things for which we will strive, and we will instill them in future generations. We will continue to work tirelessly, by your example, finding and adding humor to every part of life. We will say your name. We will remind your generations of the Covenant you made with God and the promises He gives us as His Children. Until we are One Day reunited, we hold you close to our hearts, never forgetting the legacy, which in your absence, now defines you.

While flowers are obviously welcomed, as an alternative, in lieu of flowers, we ask you to support one of the following organizations in Stan McLaughlin’s name . . .
OKC Hope Link, A Not-For-Profit Corporation
228 West Hefner Road
OKC, OK 73120
http://www.okchopelink.org/Give.php


Crying Out to God for Extension of Life . . . 
When I landed in Missouri that Saturday, I received a message from my Dear Friend, Julie Haller., which took my breath away.  There had been an accident with her son, Rye who is one of Henry's very best friends.  Rye wasn't breathing.  He didn't have a pulse when he was found.  He was on his way to OU Children's and Julie was calling on friends and strangers alike to pray for a miracle.  Since that day, Rye has been on the ventilator and in the PICU.  Doctors have not given much hope and in fact, those with organ donation came in early on to speak with the family (which, in my opinion, was premature).  As Julie explains, Rye's in NOT a traumatic brain injury like someone in a car accident. 
Rye in Mexico on a recent family trip (from Julie)

This week has been hard for my friends, although I do not pretend to know or understand at all, what they are facing.  A lively, active, typical, athletic, happy little boy - all of a sudden, in an accident, where his oxygen was cut off for presumably 30-40minutes - how do you even BEGIN to wrap your mind around it?  I've been going to visit my friends at OU when, so many times, they've come to visit both Ellie Kate and Lucy.  The pain they must feel is immeasurable BUT their HOPE is in GOD, the Creator of the Universe, the Creator of Rye, who knows the ins and outs of every single thing going on in his brain and body.  

Recent photo at OU (from Julie)


Henry, Conner and Rye 

Would you please pray for our friends and their precious son?  
Pray specifically for all his momma asks below in the following update . . . 

"After six days of unresponsiveness to hourly neurological checks, it was very encouraging to see Rye’s eyes open yesterday and for Rick to witness him appropriately responding to pain inflicted purposely by the doctor. That means that the doctor pinched his shoulder and he reacted by moving that shoulder. Sometimes brain injury patients would respond to that by kicking a leg, for example. That would be a reaction but not appropriate. We appreciate the many of you have shared encouraging stories of people recovering from brain injuries, even though the doctors would be quick to point out that traumatic brain injuries are very different from Rye’s situation. He went without oxygen to his brain for a prolonged period of time causing cell death. Although Rye was not declared brain dead after the MRI, he was not far from it. We were preparing ourselves to begin the donor matching process today because his physical signs (which the doctors seem to weigh as equal indicators of brain activity as MRI results, etc.) have no proof of any basic abilities. We are greatly relieved that God answered our prayers yesterday for a clear sign that Rye has not yet reached the predicted end. We celebrate that doctors agree that we should wait and see what happens next. That alone is a miracle to us. Seeing Rye’s eyes again today was precious to this momma. Even though the doctor reminded me that this is “all we may get,” it was more than we had expected. God will have the final word on the number of Rye’s days on earth. Until then, we continue to cry out to Him, THE WORD through whom all things were made in the beginning, to remake and heal His child mentally, emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, physically and socially so he “shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the Lord”. We know God can, we pray He will". - Julie Haller

This life is hard - indescribably difficult.  It doesn't make sense, no matter how hard we try to make the puzzle pieces fit.  There are great joys and bliss, but there are also heartaches and pain too deep to describe with words.  The World needs GOD.  I NEED GOD.  I need to know that there is purpose - a BEAUTIFUL purpose and plan for what many times, feels like chaos.  God is with us in the chaos.  Even when you can't feel Him there or sense Him there, He is present.  Even when you can't hear Him or see Him, He's still there.  I do not believe God causes ALL things to happen, but I DO believe He is WITH US through ALL THINGS.  He is our Abba, our Father, and He can be trusted even though our prayer may often be, "Lord, I choose to believe!  Help my unbelief!".  

The Lord is all-knowing.  He is the Creator of life.  
He is, "The Blessed Controller of All Things".  He knows the number of our days, from conception to death.  Stan knew this and his family clings to this Truth now as they mourn.  Rye's family knows these things to be true and they cling to this now as they cry out to God on behalf of their precious son.  


Thank you for your encouragement and love, Friends.  Thank you for praying for our family and for Rye and his family too.  I'm grateful today, knowing God hears our cries.

Ryan

Psalm 39:7, "And now, Lord, for what do I wait?  My hope is in you."
Ephesians 3:20-21, "Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all we ask or think, according to the power who works in us, to Him be the glory in Jesus Christ for all generations, forever and ever, amen."



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