All the Hurts - Crying Out

"And now, my soul is poured out within me; 

Days of affliction have seized me.  

At night, it pierces my bones within me, 

and my gnawing pains take no rest." 

Job 30:16-17

Grateful for a Life Well-Lived . . . 
It's been a blur, these last few days and weeks.  Last week, Mike's Daddy died.  It's hard to take that in.  It's hard to believe it, to be honest.  Stan was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer last October.  He underwent treatment in Norman, Oklahoma but after visiting several cancer centers, he and his wife Jayme (Mike's Momma) decided to seek treatment in St. Louis, MO.  Drew, Mike's little brother, lives in St. Louis with his family and they assisted Stan and Jayme as they moved and began treatment there in Missouri.  

Stan underwent surgery where they took out part of his tumor and reversed the ostomy bag which was placed last October.  So, unfortunately, Stan became septic and also contracted c-diff, a serious infection in the intestines.  He was moved to a wonderful hospice center on a Friday and died just a few days later, his wife by his side.  

Mike was able to drive and be with his daddy during those last days.  The day following my minor surgery, I was able to fly out to St. Louis, also spending a few days with Stan.  Henry went with me, taking care of me on the trip.  He truly was exceptional and I think it was a gift to Jayme and Stan to have him there.  Mike's sister, Jenny was also able to come in with her husband, Greg.  Every one of Stan's children was able to talk to him, laugh with him and cry with him.  Stan's sister and brother also drove in from Oklahoma and were also able to spend time with their brother.  It was a bittersweet time as we watched the natural give way to the supernatural.  

What brings me hope is knowing Stan has the promise of eternal life through Christ.  He's now with his Momma, who passed away just a couple of years ago, as well as with other friends and family, including Ellie Kate.  Ellie LOVED her Paw Paw and, OH!  How I wish I could have witnessed their reunion!  It makes me so happy, knowing Ellie has her dear grandfather now with her.  A celebration of Stan's life will take place this Thursday, May 3rd at 11am and will be held at Bridgeway Church in OKC.  
Below is a tribute I wrote for Stan, whom I dearly love . . . 

Stanley Wayne McLaughlin

Obituary by Ryan McLaughlin

Stanley Wayne McLaughlin was born in Las Vegas, NV at Nellis Airforce Base to Joy and Sterling McLaughlin. After a valiant battle with cancer, Stan left this broken world in St. Louis, Missouri, with his faithful wife, Jayme by his side. Because of Stan’s personal relationship with God, he had no fear in death, having full assurance of a perfect, peaceful, eternal life with his Creator.

“Stan the Man” is survived by the Love of his Life, his wife of 45 years, Jayme Gresh McLaughlin; sister Jill McLaughlin Bougie, husband Larry Bougie and family; brother Steve McLaughlin and wife, Brenda and family, all of Northeast Oklahoma. Stan also leaves behind three children - Jennifer McLaughlin Sutherland (husband, Greg Sutherland) of Dallas, TX; Michael McLaughlin (wife, Ryan Elizabeth Tully McLaughlin) of Oklahoma City, OK and Andrew McLaughlin (wife, Elizabeth Benoist McLaughlin) of St. Louis, MO. Stan was the perfect “Paw Paw” to his many grandchildren, who would follow him like the pied-piper. He was their endless playmate and will be terribly missed. Stan’s grandchildren include Aimee, Scott, Sam, Gabe, and Emalee of Dallas; Conner, Henry, Lucy, and Bowen Jane of OKC and Andrew, Matthew and Molly of St. Louis.

Stan is preceded in death by his mother, Joy McLaughlin, and father, Sterling McLaughlin as well as his beloved granddaughter, Ellie Kate McLaughlin. We have no doubt, their heavenly reunion was more precious than we, on earth, could imagine!

A natural athlete, Stan played basketball at Nathan Hale High School and went on to play at the University of Tulsa, graduating with a B.A. in Marketing and Management. While his children played sports, Stan served Midwest City high school by filming games for the team. During his time on earth, he worked as a salesman for Kraft, and in most recent years, worked as a Realtor for Keller Williams, partnering his wife, Jayme. He loved being a realtor and excelled at making friends and selling homes. Stan never met a person he didn’t like and was always quick to make others feel comfortable, especially with his gentle-giant countenance and silly humor.

Stan McLaughlin loved the Lord Jesus with his entire being, having surrendered his life to Christ at an early age. He had a deep desire to study God’s Word and spent years involved in extensive Precept Bible Studies, also leading various Precept classes at Bridgeway Church in OKC, where he and Jayme faithfully attended and served Communion, over many years.

Along with a great love for OU Football, Stan Musial, and The Beatles, Stan’s life and example lay out a beautiful legacy of faith in Jesus Christ and a sincere love for others. Stan leaves a breathtakingly beautiful legacy of marriage with his Bride Jayme, who is his very best friend and finest confidant.

“Faithful” - when we think of you, Stan and share your stories and say your name, we will remember you as this... Stan: a faithful friend, faithful worker, faithful Christ-follower, faithful husband, faithful father, and faithful son. Your example of faithfulness in your happy marriage will live on for generations to come. Your dedication and hard work are things for which we will strive, and we will instill them in future generations. We will continue to work tirelessly, by your example, finding and adding humor to every part of life. We will say your name. We will remind your generations of the Covenant you made with God and the promises He gives us as His Children. Until we are One Day reunited, we hold you close to our hearts, never forgetting the legacy, which in your absence, now defines you.

While flowers are obviously welcomed, as an alternative, in lieu of flowers, we ask you to support one of the following organizations in Stan McLaughlin’s name . . .

OKC Hope Link, A Not-For-Profit Corporation
228 West Hefner Road
OKC, OK 73120
http://www.okchopelink.org/Give.php

Crying Out to God for Extension of Life . . . 
When I landed in Missouri that Saturday, I received a message from my Dear Friend, Julie Haller., which took my breath away.  There had been an accident with her son, Rye who is one of Henry's very best friends.  Rye wasn't breathing.  He didn't have a pulse when he was found.  He was on his way to OU Children's and Julie was calling on friends and strangers alike to pray for a miracle.  Since that day, Rye has been on the ventilator and in the PICU.  Doctors have not given much hope and in fact, those with organ donation came in early on to speak with the family (which, in my opinion, was premature).  As Julie explains, Rye's in NOT a traumatic brain injury like someone in a car accident. 

Rye in Mexico on a recent family trip (from Julie)

This week has been hard for my friends, although I do not pretend to know or understand at all, what they are facing.  A lively, active, typical, athletic, happy little boy - all of a sudden, in an accident, where his oxygen was cut off for presumably 30-40minutes - how do you even BEGIN to wrap your mind around it?  I've been going to visit my friends at OU when, so many times, they've come to visit both Ellie Kate and Lucy.  The pain they must feel is immeasurable BUT their HOPE is in GOD, the Creator of the Universe, the Creator of Rye, who knows the ins and outs of every single thing going on in his brain and body.  

Recent photo at OU (from Julie)

Henry, Conner and Rye 

Would you please pray for our friends and their precious son?  

Pray specifically for all his momma asks below in the following update . . . 

"After six days of unresponsiveness to hourly neurological checks, it was very encouraging to see Rye’s eyes open yesterday and for Rick to witness him appropriately responding to pain inflicted purposely by the doctor. That means that the doctor pinched his shoulder and he reacted by moving that shoulder. Sometimes brain injury patients would respond to that by kicking a leg, for example. That would be a reaction but not appropriate. We appreciate the many of you have shared encouraging stories of people recovering from brain injuries, even though the doctors would be quick to point out that traumatic brain injuries are very different from Rye’s situation. He went without oxygen to his brain for a prolonged period of time causing cell death. Although Rye was not declared brain dead after the MRI, he was not far from it. We were preparing ourselves to begin the donor matching process today because his physical signs (which the doctors seem to weigh as equal indicators of brain activity as MRI results, etc.) have no proof of any basic abilities. We are greatly relieved that God answered our prayers yesterday for a clear sign that Rye has not yet reached the predicted end. We celebrate that doctors agree that we should wait and see what happens next. That alone is a miracle to us. Seeing Rye’s eyes again today was precious to this momma. Even though the doctor reminded me that this is “all we may get,” it was more than we had expected. God will have the final word on the number of Rye’s days on earth. Until then, we continue to cry out to Him, THE WORD through whom all things were made in the beginning, to remake and heal His child mentally, emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, physically and socially so he “shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the Lord”. We know God can, we pray He will". - Julie Haller

This life is hard - indescribably difficult.  It doesn't make sense, no matter how hard we try to make the puzzle pieces fit.  There are great joys and bliss, but there are also heartaches and pain too deep to describe with words.  The World needs GOD.  I NEED GOD.  I need to know that there is purpose - a BEAUTIFUL purpose and plan for what many times, feels like chaos.  God is with us in the chaos.  Even when you can't feel Him there or sense Him there, He is present.  Even when you can't hear Him or see Him, He's still there.  I do not believe God causes ALL things to happen, but I DO believe He is WITH US through ALL THINGS.  He is our Abba, our Father, and He can be trusted even though our prayer may often be, "Lord, I choose to believe!  Help my unbelief!".  

The Lord is all-knowing.  He is the Creator of life.  

He is, "The Blessed Controller of All Things".  He knows the number of our days, from conception to death.  Stan knew this and his family clings to this Truth now as they mourn.  Rye's family knows these things to be true and they cling to this now as they cry out to God on behalf of their precious son.  

Thank you for your encouragement and love, Friends.  Thank you for praying for our family and for Rye and his family too.  I'm grateful today, knowing God hears our cries.

Ryan

Psalm 39:7, "And now, Lord, for what do I wait?  My hope is in you."
Ephesians 3:20-21, "Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all we ask or think, according to the power who works in us, to Him be the glory in Jesus Christ for all generations, forever and ever, amen."

Not a Glamorous Season

The McLaughlin's are Here, we haven't dissapeared, although it's true - I don't share as often on the Blog anymore, or on any form of social media, really.  There's a lot of reason behind that choice but mostly, I have four precious kiddos who need a full-time mommy.   Also, it's just a slow, sweet, NON-GLAMOROUS Season.

In the past, I've thrown myself into ministry, into "doing" rather than focusing on my family like I should.  Now I know how precious life is, how fleeting and bittersweet it is, even for the Believer; I want be there completely for my marriage and for my children.  That means doing and even BEING, a whole lot "less" of what I had grown so used to.  It also means focusing intentionally on My Marriage, which has been so wonderful and only from The Lord.  Pouring into My People - that's where He's placed me in this Season.

Henry has been in a flare, sleeping 

and having silent seizures on Easter, 

thus he isn't pictured with us:(.  

Last week, I found out I have the severe form of Interstitial Cystitis and another small surgery is soon to come.  This is an anutoimmune disease and I flare and when I do, it's awful.  Sometimes I can barely get out of bed.  The pain can be immeasureable, lingering like a bad sunburn, but rather inside of your bladder.  

I HATE that I have this disease, which I've likely had all of my life, but really flared since Ellie's death.  I HATE how it limits me and when I'm used to being active and physical, IC takes that away from me. I beleive it's severely flaring now as Lucy's future is still  unsure and since she will turn seven this September.  Ellie Kate had just turned seven when she passed away in 2012, and there's a weight as Lucys 7th Birthday approaches. 

I'm forever thankful for my Parents and for my Husband, who support me and do their best to understand all that is in my life right now.  I thank all of YOU who continue to reach out, help with meals or laundry, send a note or text, and more!  It lifts me up in this time when the pain drains my energy, when it feels like I'm failing bc of slowing down, when I can't always "do", even what I want to. Focusing on healing body, soul and mind - that's where He's placed me in this Season.  

Days are long but precious with a wide variety of ages in the home.  The Girls and Henry need me all the time, while Conner is more independant. Yes, it seems the diapers never end, the feedings never stop, and the comforting and teaching never truly stop. However, I can say, it is a very precious time in our home, a time of much joy and laughter, even though it means we aren't as busy or out and about (but ya'll, I do miss that).  Continuing to be available to my family and marriage - that's where He's placed me in this Season. 

Bowie and I had "extra time" together during the service 

because of her runny nose, but we got this pic out of it:)! 

).

• Bowen is a JOY, full of laughter and words.  She seriously is so smart and I am in awe I have the gift of being her Mama.  She is THE Sweetest Gift I've ever recieved!
• Conner is learning what all junior high boys must learn - responsibility.  Sometimes it's difficult to learn in real life, but we couldn't be more proud of this tender-hearted boy.  Conner loves carrying Bowen around and sincerely has fun playing with Bowen and Lucy.
• Henry's had a more difficult time, although things continue to be infinitely better since we had the IVIG treatment done last summer.  It's evident Henry needs another treatment, but we are STILL fighting insurance to get the first treatment covered.  It's a heavy burden in several ways, and we long to be FREE of it, for our Dear Ones to be freed of it too! Henry is playing soccer and has grown LEAPS and BOUNDS socially!  We are so proud of him and can truly see him stop himself and do the right thing.  He has State testing next week and we'd love prayer for him - it's a HUGE deal for him to even go.  
• Lucy has shown us more signs of life and light and we take that with joy!  Although she still sleeps most of the day, she has new energy and moves around more and even plays!  We hope to have her back in school very soon, with hopes of lifting her spirits - she loves friends, school, teachers, etc just like her Big Sister.  

          Right now, Lucy has a staph infection, but we caught it early and are administering                  antibiotics at home. LuLu had many full-body seizures on Easter, which wasn't fun at              all.  It still breaks our hearts, all these years later.  She also now has a UTI, but the                    antibiotics should cover that too.  

Thank you for lifting us up in so many ways - laying us before The Throne.  Thank you for interceding for us, encouraging us, serving us, and loving us.  

To God ALONE be the GLORY, Honor and Power, Forever! 

Ryan

Other Specific Ways to Pray:

• Pray intently for each of our children, as the Holy Spirit would lead you. 
• Pray for our Marriage and our Family as a whole - knit us together even more, Lord!
• Pray for provision for a new, more comfortable chair Lucy can use at home (she's outgrown the one shes had for several years and insurance does not pay).  
• Lucy also is in need of a new wheelchair as her's is literally falling apart.  We pray someway, we can get the ball rolling so insurance can cover the wheelchair.
• Pray for provision of the IVIG treatment for Henry, that insurance would re-imburse and we can be FREE; also pray it becomes readily available for him to recieve in the near future.
• Pray for Mike's Dad (Stan) who will soon undergo surgery in hopes of removing some of the cancer.
• If you feel so led, please pray for ease of pain for my IC.