To Jen Hatmaker - When the Precious Things Don't Live . . . A Letter to Encourage Your Heart

I've never done this before - writing to a particular person, other than to Our Ellie Kate.  However, I feel the need to do so this morning, especially in light of what I personally experienced last night at an event where Jen Hatmaker shared from her heart, where the Holy Spirit was present, where the Father moved in many hearts, including in mine.  While this message is specifically FOR Jen Hatmaker, I do not know if she will ever read it.  I just know I'm supposed to write it and I pray it encourages her heart, especially during the difficult times she's faced within the last few years.  I pray God would speak to all who read this, wherever you are in the world, wherever you are in your journey, wherever your heart may be at this time. 

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Miss Jen,

You don't know me from Adam, but I was there Monday night at the 7:30 event, new babe on my chest, there on your left, just a few rows from the front.  I didn't even know you were in town, but a Dear Friend gave me a ticket via FB around 6pm and by 6:30pm, this momma of five (four living on earth), dropped it all and jumped in the car for the 40 min drive up to OC.  My hair wasn't done and I had literally thrown clothes on as I was walking out the door.   I had our newborn, adopted daughter in the backseat and our struggling 8yo son ran after me in tears, as I tried to drive away in our handi-van (handicap van). I did my make-up in the car and later noticed I looked like a bit like a clown with stage make-up upon arrival at the event, but hey - I made it!

I.was.THRILLED . . . thrilled to be away, thrilled to be swept off my feet by the Father, as He so clearly took me away from the mess and stress of everyday life and brought me to a place to focus on Him, as He spoke through you.  Undoubtedly, many people were encouraged and touched, challenged and called out last night, and I'm in that group for sure. 

Your story resonates with me . . . FEAR.  LOSS.  ANXIETY.  HEARTACHE.  FAITH . . . God has rocked me in all of those ways, with all of MY Most Precious Things and more.  While I never hoped, planned or prayed for things to turn out this way, to look this way, to fall into place in this way, God DID.  He allowed things and caused things, and I can now look back with gratefulness and thanksgiving, even though that is still sometimes a choice as I know you so clearly understand from your testimony Monday night. 

Here's the thing, I feel the Lord wants you to know this, to be reminded of this truth: Even if the Precious Things DON'T live, even if things DON'T get better, God STILL redeems what is lost.  It may not be how we thought it would look like, or what we would expect, but He does it and will continue to do it until we meet Him again in eternity. 

I hope and pray my snip-it of a testimony will convey this very thing. 

Monday night, when you were talking about getting through the difficult times, you reminded us that as Believers, we will always overcome, which is absolutely true.  You even said, "you'll live and you're people will live".

But the thing is, what if they don't?  Meaning, what if you don't live or what if your Dearest Ones don't live, as in physically, there is death?  OR what if the difficult, the struggle, that specific heartache . . . keeps going on and on and on?  Even after experiencing it personally or as a family, even after you think God has brought you through it, what if God keeps you in it, always? 

With all of this in mind, and with the Holy Spirit laying this on my heart for you,

I'm daring to devote this blog post to you, in hopes you will read it;

in hopes others will be encouraged in the Faith. 

The MOST perfect example to me of personal loss, heartache and anxiety is Job.  I was spurred on to re-read it and was reminded of just how "human" Job really was - how he too broke down and longed for a break, longed for God to step in.  His testing lasted a long time and had life-changing consequences or outcomes.  He was left without his servants (A big deal in Biblical times), without his precious children, his family, everything he owned (which was a lot), even his friends.  STILL, God used it for His own glory and for Job's good and in the end, Job STILL chose God and worshiped Him! *For those who haven't read Job, jump in and read it as it only will take a little time to do so.  You won't be sorry! 

Job 1:21, ESV
"And he said . .  The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away;

blessed be the name of the LORD.”

Job 3:25-26

“For what I fear comes upon me,
            And what I dread befalls me.

      “I am not at ease, nor am I quiet,
            And I am not at rest, but turmoil comes.”

Within the last 14 years of marriage, my husband and I have faced the following (please know I'm not listing for a 'pity-party' or for ya'll to feel sorry for us. I simply want the world to see that Believers face ON-GOING trials sometimes - trials that don't stop or let-up, and it isn't because of anything we've done or didn't do, nor is it bc of anything our kids have done.  It's because we live in a fallen, broken world.  It's because God is glorified through brokenness!):

• We have been given two, gorgeous girls born with NKH (non-ketotic hyperglyccenemia, or glycine encephalopathy), a rare and terminal genetic disorder
• We've suffered financially in great ways because of medical issues and strains brought on by medical fragility
• We've spent months upon months in the hospital, esp with our eldest daughter, Ellie Kate.  She spent most of her life in the hospital here in OK and in Texas and bc of that, we weren't able to bond and presently love the children we had at home during those times.
• Ellie Kate left this earth December 23rd, 2012 just days after her 7th bday.  She was home on hospice only three days before she died, but we were able to be there, holding our Darling Girl, as she took her last breath here and her FIRST breath in Heaven. 
• After Ellie Kate died, our youngest son was diagnosed with PANDAS, which is brought on by strep.  Strep attacks his body and brain on a daily basis and the symptoms it causes can be hell on him and on everyone around him.  We struggle to seek the best treatment, find the best doctors and counselors, but even still, he struggles and it is heartbreaking.  (symptoms are similar to mental illness as well as Aspergers and Autism).
• Our eldest son struggles with fear and anger - anger that he is the only "normal" or "healthy" one in the family, anger over so much childhood that was strained.
• After Ellie died, our youngest son was also diagnosed with brain malformations and seizures
• Our youngest daughter, Lucy Belle (who also has NKH) has many appointments and therapies throughout the week.  She doesn't walk or talk and only eats via g-tube.  She has intractable epilepsy and seizes many times on a daily basis, despite being on a total of 12 medications for seizures and for her disorder. 
• My husband has experienced job losses over the years as he's tried to balance sleepless night and hospital stays with his work commitments.  He even lived states away from us for a year in order to provide for our family.
• I was called to leave my career in Higher Education; Speaking and writing is something I love, but God has allowed that also to be put on the back-burner, which is sometimes super frustrating and sad.
• I was diagnosed with several auto-immune issues, including Intercystial Cystitis, which causes severe pain in the bladder and kidneys (like a constant severe UTI). I can't work out bc of physical pain, and God has taken away any pride I might have had in my body. 
• Friends have come and gone - most have the best of intentions but it is so difficult. lt's hard to love and befriend a family with special needs and medical fragility, which I totally understand.

Our list may be familiar to many and I am sure there are so many who's lists are

much more lengthy and detailed than ours! 

Within the pain and heartache, even at our lowest points, even at MY lowest points, God has been FAITHFUL and TRUE.  I've clung to what I know is true, as you encouraged us to last Monday:  It's the only way to get through the circumstances that don't make sense, that don't stop, that don't change. 

Philippians 4:8 (ESV)⁸ Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

In God's faithfulness, and BECAUSE of the things I've listed above,

God has done the following and MORE . . .

• PERSONAL MISSION:  God gave me a personal mission through our journey - a mission to love and serve those within the special needs community, and it's a mission our family has adopted as well.  I never would have looked at precious people in this way, and never thought I would be an advocate within this special community.  God had other plans, and through our experiences, HE has given me a new love for those who are physically broken.  I am SO GRATEFUL! 

• WONDERFULLY MADE: God stirred my heart, and the heart of our church, to start Wonderfully Made, a ministry to families within the church, whose children have special needs or who are medically-complicated.  God has taken this ministry and grown it greatly and it isn't because of anything I've done, or that we've done as a family!  There are now Wonderfully Made ministries (and those like it) around the country, reaching out to this people group who are SO easily forgotten by the Church!  Families see that they are NOT forgotten.  Children see that they ARE important, no matter how they are made by God, no matter what may happen to them on earth.  The atmosphere among the typical kids at churches changes too and everyone has become more loving, more accepting, more understanding of families like ours. It's all because of God's goodness and rich plans which we couldn't foresee.  I am SO GRATEFUL!

• OKC HOPE LINK:  God stirred within us a desire to start a support group for families whose children suffer from rare and serious disorders.  A precious friend of mine started Hope Link in 2007, reaching out to families like ours, letting them know they aren't alone.  Hope Link is open to any and all, no matter what your religious beliefs or backgrounds. In the last few years, we've become a 501c3, have developed a Board of Directors, and have seen continued growth within the group!  Hope Link has monthly support groups for moms, support for dads, events for the families throughout the year, a kid-free night where children are cared for by trained professionals, an annual retreat to spoil these warn-down, warrior mommies, and so much more!  We have given back to Make-a-Wish Oklahoma and give Care Baskets to OU Children's Hospitals, letting families there know they are loved and not alone. 

I am the first to admit that I am not any more special than the person next to me.  I haven't earned God's grace or goodness or even favor.  He hasn't punished me and my family by the difficulties He's allowed to befall us, but rather He has done so that we may KNOW that HE ALONE is GOD.  He has done so that it's obvious HE alone gets the glory.  He has done so for OUR good and for the good of our children. 

Even though the bad times, the tough times, the heartache doesn't yet stop for our family; even though we are still in this season of total dependence upon the Father, even though we don't always see "the light at the end of the tunnel" . . .  I personally can say that He is STILL GOOD and He DOES GOOD and we can all trust Him with everything we have, even our MOST PRECIOUS things - especially our Most Precious things.  He takes them and makes something more beautiful than we could ever have hope or imagined - so much better than anything we could have planned!  His ways are not our ways, and I'm truly grateful for that today. 

Like Job, we firmly say, Job 5:9, “As for me, I would seek God,
and to God would I commit my cause,
9who does great things and unsearchable,
marvelous things without number:" Job 5:9

Jen Hatmaker, if this applies to you, GREAT!  If not, that's totally fine too.  At least I've been obedient and sent it out for all the world to see.  I hope it's an encouragement to you, if and when those tough times don't stop for you and for your family.  I hope this is an encouragement to fellow Believers when the struggle seems to never end.  He WILL redeem and bring life, new ministry, new purpose, new joy! 

It may not be the way we expect, but He will ALWAYS do it, just as He's promised. 

*One last story of redemption for Our Family - God has given us a precious baby girl through adoption; a baby born in Shawnee, across from OBU, by doctors who attended your same school.  God allowed Our Daughter to be born on our Ellie Kate's Heaven Day, December 23rd!  Only God could bring redemption to that day in such an intimate way!

Truly, "The LORD has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy!" (Psalm 126:3)

With Great Love, Appreciation and Hope,

Ryan

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*Further promises from the Father:

Joel 2:25 (NIV)

"I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten-- the great locust and the young locust, the other locusts and the locust swarm -- my great army that I sent among you.  

Isaiah 40: 8-10 (ESV)

"But you, Israel, my servant,
    Jacob, whom I have chosen,
    the offspring of Abraham, my friend;
⁹ you whom I took from the ends of the earth,
    and called from its farthest corners,
saying to you, “You are my servant,
    I have chosen you and not cast you off”;
¹⁰ fear not, for I am with you;
    be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand"

Isaiah 43:1-2

"But now thus says the Lord,
he who created you, O Jacob,
    he who formed you, O Israel:
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
    I have called you by name, you are mine.
² When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
    and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
    and the flame shall not consume you."

Psalm 30:11, New Living Translation
"You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing.

You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy"