Life and Death

It's been a while since I've written and posted about Our Life, this Wonderfully Made Life which God has so graciously given us.  "Bittersweet" is how I would describe this season, as there are many, MANY struggles, although sprinkled with good.  For the Believer, the Holy Spirit comforts us in ways that are truly unexplainable, and even unimaginable by most.  I've seen Him comfort me so in many ways, at so many times, but to be honest - I'm not FEELING the comfort right now.  The thing is, He PROMISES to comfort us, so I know he is doing it somehow, even though I don't feel it.  His ways are not our ways (praise God, am I right?!).

In the past two months, we have seen so much LIFE and also DEATH - physical, spiritual, emotional - you name it, we've tasted it.  I think all of our children have inherited my sometimes overly-sensitive heart and with that, we often feel deeply - the good, the bad and the in-between.

Within the past month, we have seen many changes.  So much so, that I think it's just easiest for me to break it down for you, in my usual way . . .

FAMILY:  We've been able to visit with Mike's extended family over the past several weekends.  We've traveled some to see these loved ones, while a few of come to visit here with us!  THIS has been SWEET, as we've gotten to know these family members better and have spent invaluable time with Mike's two Grandmothers, MiMi Gresh and MiMaw McLaughlin. To us as parents, it's vital that our children spend time with their Grandparents and Great-Grandparents while we are all together here on earth.

On Memorial Day, the same time we were decorating Ellie's Spot with MiMaw McLaughlin and Aunt Jill, Mike's MiMi Gresh went to be with Jesus.  Jayme, Mike's Mom, was there by her Mother's side, as was PawPaw, MiMi's husband for the last 66 years.  Family and friends came in from all over last week and we were able to spend a lot of special time together.  The emotions and changes which have taken place have shaken up the kids, and their behaviors are clear examples of that, especially Henry's.

HENRY: This Sweet Boy has completed the first grade, again.  Last year we held Henry back on our own accord, but this year he is more than ready to move on to the next grade.  Because of EXTREME separation anxiety, Henry missed much of the last weeks of school.  He's been dealing with different types of obsessive behaviors.  He doesn't do the typical OCD things that people may think about - Henry is obsessed with electronics and in particular, with my cell phone - which means I've missed calls and messages, along with texts.

We are working diligently, trying to assist Henry with his OCD (including a new affection for puppies and electronic scooters), and pray that the Lord will relieve him of these things this summer.  We are also trying to keep him in tutoring, camps and various other activities in order for his focus to be on other things.

Being real - PANDAS is AWFUL.  I absolutely hate it, as much as I hate NKH, and even though PANDAS is not "terminal" in any way, it steals SO much from Henry and from us as a family.  It takes away so much PEACE and JOY.  It steals normalcy, and just like we can't take Lucy certain places because of the heat or lack of handicap access, we can't always take Henry out due to being over-stimulated or because of severe separation anxiety.  PANDAS makes my sweet, endlessly-giving, bright, polite, affection son  frantic, frightened and worried to the point of tears and panic attacks.  We HOPE, as a summer schedule falls into place, Henry's body and mind will settle.  Please pray with us for those very things!

LUCY: Lucy also finished school and was invited to take part in Grace Dance, which includes dancers from The Children's Center in Bethany.  Although Lucy slept through the actual performance (or played opposom), she LOVED the entire experience!  We even stayed for most of the recital and she danced and smiled the entire time.  It was a PRECIOUS memory for all of us - something we will treasure always.  The gift of taking part in this adventure is truly from The Lord!

CONNER: Our eldest son has completed the sixth grade and is on to Junior High next year!  While I desperately wish we could send Conner to Christian school, we absolutely love his group of friends that will also be attending the same junior high with him next fall.  Conner is being tutored this summer as he plans on taking a few advanced classes once school starts.  

Conner continues to be a complete JOY, and his laid-back personality and strong wit helps to keep things happy around our home.  I am INCREDIBLY grateful that Conner IS so laid-back, as I don't think he could handle things as well if he was a "type A" child.  God created Our Firstborn SO perfectly for our family and for the challenges we face.  

MIKE:  As many of you know, Michael is in the Oil and Gas Industry here in Oklahoma.  For those of you outside of our Great State, this particular industry, once the bread-and-butter of our existence, has been hit HARD, with large companies closing, and literally thousands and thousands of people have been laid-off.  Mike's job is still secure, and we can ONLY give GOD GLORY for this!!  I KNOW our precious friends are praying for us in this area, and HAVE been praying for security and favor.  God is SO good to continue to provide and we appreciate your prayers that this job security continues.  

RYAN:  My intercystial cystitis continues to worsen, but we are super hopeful at this time.  I've recently seen a specialist and have started physical therapy for these struggles.  I finally feel confident in the treatment I am undergoing and I have hope that it WILL get better and we WILL figure out what all is going on with my body.  

My heart continues to bleed for adoption - a sweet baby girl to join our family.  We absolutely want her to come in God's timing, and not in ours.  We DON'T want what He doesn't want.  We KNOW He alone can work out the major costs, the details and even bringing us the right little girl.  We've had a few situations fall through, and while I look back now and see why God hasn't placed those babies in our home at this time.  

HONESTLY, I don't understand why adoption is so hard, so expensive.  I don't understand some of the laws our state has in place either.  Literally, U.S. adoption is usually around $35,000-45,000 - who can afford that?!  Mike and I would foster to adopt, but we KNOW it would be too, TOO hard on the boys, especially after all they have been through.  We would love prayer for adoption and for all of the details that go with it.  

So, there you have it - the Life and Death; the "bittersweet" sprinkled with a tiny titch of good.  I know there are so many friends struggling - with job loss, with infertility, with adoptions that have fallen through over and over again.

CALL TO ACTION:  Undoubtedly, You have a neighbor who is hurting - someone in your community is struggling and YOU can make a difference by loving on them and by easing their burdens.  I trust you can recklessly love on someone today.