The Goodness of The Lord in the Land of the Living

Psalm 27:13-14Living Bible (TLB)

¹³ I am expecting the Lord to rescue me again, so that once again I will see his goodness to me here in the land of the living.

¹⁴ Don’t be impatient. Wait for the Lord, and he will come and save you! Be brave, stouthearted, and courageous. Yes, wait and he will help you.

Clear, blue-green waters upon the horizon;  sugary-sand under our feet; warm sun kissing our skin,  with the taste of the salty sea upon our lips . . .  
an absolute dream come-true! 

We recently returned from a beautiful trip to Mirimar Beach, Florida.  Our Dear Friends, Jeff and Bonnie Hinkle, invited us to stay with them in their beautiful home, which sits right on the ocean!  Selfishly, I admit that this was a dream of mine – I longed to have each of my children enjoy the Florida Gulf as I did.  Miraculously, Lucy was pretty pain-free and able to go with us, so we marked one of the biggest things off her “Life List” with taking her to the beach and letting her experience it to the fullest.  My cousin Kellyn, an RN and also beloved family member, went with us as Lucy’s nurse which was a HUGE blessing and delight! 

Lucy absolutely LOVED every part of our time away, even the riding in the car for over 14hrs!  I can’t fully explain the intense joy I felt watching My Lucy breathe in that salty air, feeling the warm sand between her toes.  She enjoyed grabbing the sand with her hand and dipping her dainty, pointed toes in the ocean.

Conner and Henry also enjoyed the beach, each with their own new hobby – for Conner, it’s paddle boarding!  We were elated that Conner felt secure and confident enough to go out on the board alone, evening standing up on his own accord!  He spotted dolphins in the distance and paddled out to see them up-close.  Conner got to see dolphins swimming under his board which is absolutely a memory he will forever hold!  Boogie boarding is what Henry chose this trip, and he was in the water from daybreak to sunset each day (and would have gone out more if we had let him).  Henry was made for the water and ran out to the beach with pure glee.  Bowen Jane also LOVED the water and the sand!  She had no fear whatsoever and immediately crawled straight for the water.  Bowen loved splashing in the water and the salt didn’t bother her one bit!  Our “Little Moana” in her true form, coming back with the darkest tan of all. 

It was such a JOY to watch our family relax and enjoy God’s rich creation and I am truly humbled He saw fit to bring about this trip for us and it was well-worth the sacrifices made in order to make it a reality. 

Lucy’s all-important, “unicorn/pony party” was the Sunday before we left for Florida and we were AMAZED and THRILLED at the turnout we received for this Celebration!  

We had approximately 90 people at Lucy’s skating party, so it was good we had the whole place to ourselves.  The owners were gracious and super accommodating to Lucy and our other fellow wheelchair-bound guests.  Truly, we were astonished by the outpouring of love and support we felt by so many friends there to celebrate Lucy while she is still with us.  Although we didn’t ask for nor expect any gifts, we were blown-away by the generosity of those who came!  There were so special presents and each is truly an absolute treasure.  We will CHERISH this day forever and ever and ever, Ya’ll. 

For everyone who attended – THANK YOU for taking the time out of your schedules to come celebrate Our Daughter!  For everyone who served and assisted that day (Delia, Melissa, Donna, and Julie), THANK YOU for your precious servant-hearts!  For those who wanted to attend but weren’t able to – please don’t worry one bit!  We know it’s hard to make these events, especially on a Sunday.  Donna Castleberry – the party wouldn’t have come together without YOU.  We will always remember and appreciate the time, energy and creativity you put into it all, making it special for our entire family, especially for Lucy. I’m not sure if I will ever get the many thank-you notes out, BUT I want all of you to know, we are beyond grateful and do not take any part of that special day for granted.  It was so special because YOU were there! 

Now, for a Lucy Update . . .

While Lucy did amazingly, surprisingly well on every single portion of the trip, she crashed when we arrived home.  I know she was exhausted from the excitement and from expelling so much energy while we were there.  She also loved looking out the window on the long drives, so she didn’t get much sleep to and from our destination.  Even so, we are sad to see her back to sleeping most of the time and even wanting her bed so often.  We get her out, even though she’s so sleepy, each taking turns with her on the couch, our bed and even on the living room floor.  Ultimately though, Lucy winds up crying and fussing and I don’t really blame her.  It’s pretty loud and boisterous around here, as we are still living with my parents, and you can’t blame a girl for wanting her temperpedic mattress and specialized bed, either!  

As I posted on FB tonight, Lucy’s kidneys and bladder aren’t fully functioning and she’s been fighting a bad UTI since we returned from FL.  We decided tonight,  the antibiotic must not be working, so there will be another round of tests and urine samples and I’m guessing we will just start a different antibiotic.  

Sweet LuLu Belle, This Evening

Ellie Kate was home on hospice for three, agonizing and suffering-filled days, so this long-term decline is totally different.  I don’t know what I would choose, if I could.  Both seem equally as tortuous as we know Our Daughter is suffering and in pain, and we also KNOW the realness of Heaven and all that is waiting there for her upon her last breath here.  It’s such a strange place to be – longing for Ultimate Healing while simultaneously hoping for more time with Lulie Belle. 

 I don't know about you, but at times, I get overwhelmed by the mere thought of all the good AND all of the bad, not only in my life but also in this world.  The Good and The Bad - life is made up of both, although it often feels as though the “bad” wins out.  

As Believers (Followers of Christ), it's hard to see God's goodness when there is so much obvious darkness around us.  I know this is true in my own family as we look at the outside world - threats of nuclear attacks, church shootings, terrorism plots, and more, and it’s true as we look inside as well – with Lucy's declining health, the recent Stage 4 Cancer diagnosis for Mike's Dad, and what often feels like this giant list of other things, none of which even possibly seem or feel “GOOD”. 

From the outside, I think many would look upon the lot of The OKC McLaughlins, believing the BAD certainly must outweigh the GOOD, and although it may feel that way to us sometimes as well, that isn’t the truth.

Now, I’d be lying if I told you there weren't times I wallow in the, "why me, why us" questions.  Child loss, special needs for three children, severe disability and medically fragility for two girls, years full of hospital stays and separate among our little family . . . the knowledge we will likely outlive Lucy, and that Henry is a carrier of the disease; my own mother with medical fragility, and in being diagnosed with several autoimmune disorders myself . . . even job changes and losses along the way, financial ups and downs, the heartache and ever-changing PANDAS rollercoaster, depression diagnoses for four out of the six of us, marital trouble, and on and on and on . . .

Absolutely, and no matter how you put it, we have a lot “on our plate”, “so much entrusted to us”, “many trials and tribulations” and how I see it, we been given so many, CONTINUAL reasons why we MUST have God as Lord of our lives and why we must cling to Him, always.  It gets super complicated and sometimes foggy, especially on the bad days, and I’m guessing many of you can relate. 

Here’s what I absolutely KNOW to be TRUE:

•       God created me in intimate ways, with certain giftings, all for a Specific Purpose.  He knows me inside and out, better than anyone on earth possibly could.  He knows my heart and my thoughts, my limits and my failures, yet He still chooses to love me the same, no matter what I’ve done or will ever do.   I can trust Him because of this Truth. 
•       God has created each of my children in intimate ways in which HE designed.  He knows every part of their being and genetic make-up, even how everything works, even when no one else can figure it out.  I can trust Him because of this Truth. 
• ·         NOTHING, absolutely NO-THING can happen without God’s approval.  Satan has no power God does not allow (as seen in Job).  He created me, He knows me, He loves me unconditionally forever, AND He OVERSEES ALL that is thrown my way.  I can surely trust Him because of this! 
•       No matter how bad it gets (and ya’ll, it can get bad - as you well know!), God will show me GOODNESS, just as He promised.   I can trust Him because of this Truth, Friends. 
•       God always wins, GOOD always wins - for Believers, we can take comfort in knowing how this life ends . . . with God on the Throne. That certainty can take away my fears, my questions and my anxieties.  Truly, I can trust Him because of This Truth. 

Although I won’t always FEEL like trusting Him, I can look back on these Truths and CHOOSE to trust Him, shutting down my own thoughts of fear,anxiety, hopelessness, and despair. 

Today and everyday, whether you are facing a giant mountain, where you don’t know how you can possibly survive and you can’t even see through it; or if you are facing a season of hope, fulfillment and happiness, I strongly urge you to CHOOSE TO TRUST Your Father. 

That’s what I’m doing, even now.  Why don’t you join me?

Psalm 27:13-14Living Bible (TLB) - I am expecting the Lord to rescue me again, so that once again I will see his goodness to me here in the land of the living. Don’t be impatient. Wait for the Lord, and he will come and save you! Be brave, stouthearted, and courageous. Yes, wait and he will help you.

• PS:  Watch for new updates on Ellie Kate's Month of Reckless Love, which starts the first of December, as we celebrate her Sweet Life throughout the month by loving and serving others!