Reckless Love - Starting Over

 

It’s been a long time, My Friends – almost a year since I’ve penned a blog post or shared such an update here on FB.  For a time, I’ve felt God silent, as in, not giving me a word to share.  For a time, personal life has been too messy and difficult to share; my energy only geared toward a few things, not including these platforms. 

This page started as a rallying group, calling for Reckless Love in honor of Elizabeth Kathleen (Ellie Kate) McLaughlin, our eldest daughter who died December 23, 2012 from complications of NKH.  Two of our daughters were born with this horrible, genetic disease which is considered “terminal” at this time.  There is no cure, although research has begun over the last few years, at both the University of Colorado and Notre Dame, which we are so grateful for. 

Because of Ellie Kate, we learned the meaning of true LOVE – sacrificial, unconditional, always-forgiving, love.  Through Ellie Kate, we found “Reckless Love” – an unconditional love which doesn’t change and will not waver, regardless of action or reaction.  Reckless Love goes beyond all reason or meaning; you recklessly love someone even when they don’t deserve it (especially when they don’t deserve it), especially when it isn’t easy, when it doesn’t FEEL like something you want to do.  This most precious love is originated in Christ Jesus.  God is the Creator of all things, including LOVE.  God Himself, IS Love - I John 4:8.  His perfect love casts out fear - I John 4:18. 

Though I am so far from perfect, so far from good, I know the Lord has a reason for us to be on this journey, this rollercoaster of sorrow, delight, pain, victories, death, and God’s provision.  It’s a story I am truly selfish NOT to share, and so this page exists and so our Carepage and blog were started so long ago (www.thewonderfullymadelife.blogspot.com). 

We’re going on SIXTEEN years of sharing.  It can get old, ya’ll – for you as the reader and friend, and for us, as we share.  How do we continue to share without continually being a burden?  How do we continue to share when there is no major breakthrough, no ending victory in sight for those supporting us?  It’s questions like these which often flood my mind when I contemplate sharing or writing in either place.  I CHOOSE to trust the Lord in this.  Even in writing those words, I step out in faith in my own weakness, not fully understanding the meaning of it all.  I just know the calling is there and I must follow – I will continue to share, even when it isn’t easy or fun or pretty; for I long to give God the glory in our journey and in my life.  Isn’t that the goal of every Believer? To KNOW and MAKE HIM KNOWN?  To make His name glorified throughout the earth?  Indeed, that is why we are here.  

In days to come, we will combine the blog and the Facebook page – I’m still not sure how it will come together, how the Lord will clearly set that into motion.  I’m trusting Him to do so bc of the stirring in our hearts to once again share these ups and downs of the humanity we live.  We covet your prayers as things develop and pan-out. 

For the newcomers to our journey, and to those who’ve been with us from the beginning – I am so looking forward to connecting with you once again. May we come to realize our similar our struggles truly are.  May we come to know how faithful our God truly is!  May we learn to recklessly love EVERYONE we see!

 

With Hope,

Ryan

UPDATE! We Need Your Help - Ellie's Month of Reckless Love

Earlier this week, God sweetly reminded me of the night Ellie Kate was born.  Some of you have heard this story, as I'm sure I've shared it many times.  Personally, though, I had forgotten the precious beginning, the very reason why we call Ellie Kate, "Consecrated" Princess.

Ellie's birth was fast and furious, as I had mostly labored at home. She came to us on a Sunday afternoon and after the excitement settled down a bit, and the clock passed midnight, it was just me and Mike in the room with that Precious Little Girl.  I held her tight - I wanted her by my side, always.  I had yet to see her eyes, or hear her voice, but I knew she was just perfect.  

During that time, Mike had been intently studying David (the character from the Bible).   That night of Ellie's birth, we talked about King David's Heritage and went backward, to Abraham.  WOW.  The story of Abraham and Isaac is vital to our Faith (without sharing it all here, I'm attaching a LINK so you can get the full picture of this beautiful Bible story).  Abraham LOVED his son, who was a true miracle, and whose future was ordained by God in every possible way.  The future was to come from Isaac, yet God called Abraham to give him up - can  you imagine the confusion, fear and angst which must have crept in?!?   

Abraham laid his precious, promised son before God.  He CHOSE to believe, even when he didn't understand and thus, 

Abraham gives us perfect example of FAITH.  

OBEDIENCE happened.  

FAITH took place, and God was glorified.  

Hannah, another great woman of faith in the Bible. God brought this sweet momma to my mind the night of Ellie's birth, as Mike and I talked about Abraham's sacrifice.  Hannah couldn't have children, but cried out to God for the gift of motherhood.  She promised to give her son to Lord, to lay Him before the throne, to entrust Him with Samuel's entire life and future.  Hannah did as she promised. Hannah stepped out in faith and gave her son to GOD (LINK).

That night, Mike and I were deep in prayer together, right there with a newborn Ellie Kate.  We each offered her up to the Lord, knowing that she was HIS, knowing that HIS plans would always be higher than ours.  We chose to trust, literally saying those words out loud, and thanked Him for such an unbelievable, precious gift.  Indescribable peace followed.  

Tonight, some of the parallels shared here are sinking in for the first time for me.  Even fourteen years after EK was born, seven years after she died, God uses my Daughter's Story to move in me.  I'm so humbled and grateful. 

Those who follow Christ, we are called to give ourselves away.  Believers, we are called to hand over our children and all that we are, all that we've worked for, all that "belongs" to us.  It is HIS, to be used for HIS glory.  You can see this in holy consecration, with Abraham and Hannah, giving their children to their God.  But, this can also be seen in everyday actions, reckless love: giving when it isn't convenient, helping when it's hard, stepping in when it all seems messy. 

For Ellie Kate's Month, I hope you learn about all of this, and so much more!  I pray you will put it into action and in fact, WE CALL ON YOU TO RECKLESSLY LOVE, BY GIVING, and meeting the needs of these NKH families, from all over the country.  I haven't shared much on them personally, hoping to protect their privacy, but I want you to know about them and their children.  So, feel free to message me about the families and about any questions you might have.  Also, IF YOU PURCHASE A GIFT, PLEASE MESSAGE ME, so I know that gift is indeed, taken care of.  

Ellie Kate's Month of Reckless Love 2019

#EKMonthofRecklessLove

#EKspreadthelove

Below is a list of our adoptees at this time, and helping out is super easy! 

1. Choose a family

2. Click on the links to find their wishes and needs

3. Purchase the wishes and needs the Lord leads you to, and they will be mailed directly to the NKH Family!

4. Email or PM me, letting me know what items you've purchased OR let me know if you would like to give towards a certain gift.  

NKH FAMILY "A":  This Beloved Family is especially dear to our hearts.  The illness and disease, they face within their household, is truly hard to grasp.  Nevertheless, the family keeps on fighting, surviving, and thriving.  Each of the gifts listed below,  would be a blessing to the family, and would let them know they aren't alone in this fight.  Let's how them  them how loved and worthy they truly are!!

Need #1

Need #2

    Need #3

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NKH FAMILY "B":  Family "B" is very special to us, as they too have lost a child to NKH.  They have a big household, including another little girl, who is also affected by NKH (just a little younger than Lucy).    Like us, our friends know where their child now lives - in Heaven, complete and whole, but the sting of death is unforgiving and can be so piercing to one's soul.  Granting these gifts would bless this family, allowing them to be loved, even in the midst of heartache and perseverance.  The particular gifts will help the little girl communicate with her family, friends, teachers, etc.  Can you imagine the freedom that could come with that?!? Giving a child a LITERAL VOICE - that's one amazing gift! 

Need #1 - Communication Device

Need #2 - Communication Stand 

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NKH Family "C":  This sweet family has been through more trials than I could possibly share.  Momma was diagnosed with cancer and has undergone intense chemotherapy. Both parents have been a valiant warriors, especially while taking care of this precious little girl, during a time of great illness and pain.  The ONLY gift this family has asked for, is an "Up-See" (you may have seen this via FB commercials).  The Up-see allows the child to experience "walking", while attached to an adult.  Pretty incredible!  This gift would be a blessing to a family who has been through tremendous struggles, and it would help a little girl experience something she never has before - the ability to walk, while assisted!!  *If you would like to give towards this gift, please private message me.  

Need #1 - "Up-See", SIZE SMALL

********************************************************************

Other ways to spread Reckless Love this month: 

• SHARE THE LOVE/LOGO/MESSAGE: We invite you to change your FB profile page and/or background pic to Ellie Kate's logo, spreading the word about Reckless Love, bringing opportunities to share about Our Girl. 
• During now and December 23 (Ellie's Heaven Day), Recklessly love those around you by mowing a law, bringing a meal, dropping off a gift card, and more!  
• Share a picture of your expressions of Reckless Love, even printing off the logo to share along with your acts of Reckless Love!

Lucy - Health Update

My Precious Lucy-Girl.  I haven’t posted or shared much about Sweet LuLu in a while.  We just got home from a long afternoon/evening in the ER and we have some big changes coming up where Lucy’s health is concerned.  It’s been so long since I’ve shared about Our Sissy, I felt it was it was time.  Lucy needs the prayers and I need to rise above my fear and shame. 

The fall seemed consumed with getting Henry’s IVIG treatment, which miraculously took place right before Thanksgiving.  Then came December, Ellie’s Month of Reckless Love, and we were focused on Ellie Kate’s memory as well as spreading Reckless Love in her name.  We are humbly grateful for everyone’s support and participation during these months!  I’ve hesitated going into details about Lucy while so many of you have supported and loved us in other ways (again, with the shame and fear). 

FEAR: Laying it all out there – sometimes I feel like “the person who complains all the time” or, “the one who always needs something”.  When I share pictures of Ellie Kate or Lucy, I can feel like others may think, “Here come more pics of the little dead girl, again!” or, “If I see ONE more picture of a sick little girl . . .”.   I NEVER want to be a “Debbie Downer”, ya’ll.  It crushes me to even think that could be a possibility.  It’s a fine line, wanting to share our special journey with others, while not coming across the wrong way.  It makes me sick to think of being seen in that light, especially because I feel called to share.  

With all that I am, I feel the world (The Church, in particularly) needs to know how to better love and serve those with special needs, those who are medically-fragile and those who’ve lost children because of those things.  I must continue to share, swallowing my pride where this is concerned.  I am choosing NOT to let fear control me from sharing the not-so-pretty things about life. 

LUCY: From the beginning, Lucy has struggled with bladder issues and has suffered from frequent Urinary Tract Infections.  Those UTI’s have increased over the last few years and in 2018, Lucy had approximately 8-10 UTI’s.  After extensive testing, we know what causes the infections in Lucy – she retains her urine.  We aren’t sure if Lucy “holds” her urine on purpose or if her brain simply doesn’t give her bladder the right signals, preventing her from urinating at appropriate times.  At this point, Lucy’s having back to back infections.

Big Girl, holding one of her Christmas gifts this year!

INFECTIONS: Last Summer, Lucy suffered from a few UTI’s as well as from C-diff, an infection of the intestines.  In Lucy’s case, this infection was caused by the frequent use of antibiotics, trying to treat her UTI’s.  C-Diff isn’t something you want to have – it can be incredibly dangerous, deadly, and the more time one spends on antibiotics, the more chance one has of getting c-diff.

In the fall, doctors brought up the possibility of using a urinary catheter on Lucy, here at home.  We are NOT afraid to use a catheter on Lucy here at home, but the reality of it all seemed impossible.  She is our, “Wild Cat” and much like her Big Sister, likes to bite, kick, scream, hit, bang, pull, and anything else she can do, to stop others from holding her down for any type of procedure, especially for catheterization. 

PAIN: The infections are incredibly and understandably very painful for Lucy.  She cannot sleep well because of the pain and bladder spasms, even with medication and treatment.  She can’t get comfortable during the day time, often crying hysterically when she urinates.  It’s absolutely heartbreaking because Lucy doesn’t at all understand what’s going on with her body.  No matter how I explain it or what I might say, she cannot be comforted by the meaning of my words because she mentally cannot make sense of it all.  Lucy just knows she hurts; badly, excruciatingly at times. 

 

SOLUTIONS?: Lucy’s been running a high fever, and any type of fever is rare for her.  With the fever showing up last night, I knew something was brewing and figured it must be another UTI (we finished antibiotic treatment for the last infection just two weeks ago).   Other symptoms popped up so, after a call to her pediatrician, we decided to go ahead and take Lucy to the ER.  Per usual, they were great and got us right in, taking cultures, giving fluids and running a general antibiotic.  Sure enough, Lucy has another UTI.  No wonder she’s just miserable, bless her heart. 

We’re now faced with one probable solution: a suprapubiccatheter.  It’s something new.  It’s something surgical.  It’s something that will be an ongoing surgical commitment.  We have no experience with this whatsoever, unlike most things we’ve dealt with up until now.  BUT, we are ready and willing to learn, especially for Lucy’s benefit.  I will keep you posted on Lucy’s health and I hope to do so more often than I have been, pushing myself beyond fear. 

Daddy Snuggles on Christmas Break

PRAISE:  I am SO grateful to be able to post about Lucy in this way, to have the privilege of asking for prayers for her body and mind!  Last winter, especially was excrutiatingly difficult for Lucy as she continued to waste away, despite our best efforts.  Her body started failing and we had prepared our hearts, especially around Christmas-time.  God has SPARED our Daughter, and we give HIM alone the glory for this!  While Lucy is still far behind in weight, she has more good times than bad, the total opposite of last year at this same time. 

THE SUM:  Tonight, in the ER and now at home, I’m reminded of how precious and fleeting life truly is.  Yes, this same message is shared so often, almost everywhere we look.  HOWEVER, I encourage you to truly, STOP and take a moment to think about it.  We get frustrated and flustered, caught up in the activities of life and what we feel are urgencies, making us worry, fret, lose sleep, and lose happiness in this life.  This life is ONLY about loving God and loving others; those are the only things which are eternal - everything else .  .  . EVERYTHING ELSE will melt away, falling to the wayside, for us to never think of again.  

Whenever you have the chance (and I mean really, whenever!) reach out and give a gentle touch, give an encouraging word, give a hug; share, “I love you”, or give “pat-pats”, like EK and Lucy do to those they like.  It can be over in a moment.  It can change, drastically.  ONE MOMENT.  OVER.  DONE.  FOREVER. And all that you’ve done will be IT – the sum of your life.  Are you satisfied with that sum right now, at this very moment?  You have the power to change it.  Trust me, you won’t EVER regret showing Reckless Love. 

Ryan

Grateful Hearts and a God who is Faithful and True

Precious Friends, December is now upon us, and it hardly seems possible that Ellie Kate's ELEVENTH birthday is this Sunday!  It is now officially, "Ellie Kate's Month of Reckless Love" and in honor of our "reckless love" efforts this month, we invite you to change your Facebook profile to one of the pictures below to help us spread the word!

First off, I want to thank you for the many ways you've already loved and served the specific families God has led us to focus on this year. It's just the beginning of December and already, we've had packages come to our door, "In Honor of Ellie Kate"!  I will never tire of seeing her name on the packages YOU have provided for others.  Our entire family giggles and jumps up and down when we open the packages each night, looking to see what the Lord has brought to the families we're collectively giving to!  I could never fully convey our gratefulness, but please know that you honor us and honor Ellie Kate when you give, serve, provide for, and pray for these particular families.  

Christmas Gifts for Families!

Secondly, I want to apologize for my tone in the last blog entry.  Friends, you got to see the real and raw feelings of a mourning momma, that's for sure.  Here's the thing though, in those moments, in that situation, I wasn't giving this all up to the Lord.  I wasn't giving HIM control of this all-important-month and because of that, I was more down and defeated than I needed to be!  When I last wrote, it wasn't yet December and I was already worried that gifts wouldn't be purchased and that these families would be left without their needs or wishes granted . .  . Oh ME of little faith! God told us to dedicate the month of December in this way and this year, He has once again shown us what and who to focus the "Reckless Love" upon.  Oh, Friends!  THE most important thing I have learned in these (almost) four years since losing Ellie Kate from this life, is that GOD IS FAITHFUL AND TRUE.  We are following His direction and He will see it through - no matter how many participate, HE will provide and HE will get the glory.  That's what this life is all about.


A little Scriptural Truth to show God's Character as Faithful and True 

Psalm 78:35
And they remembered that God was their rock, And the Most High God their Redeemer.
Proverbs 23:11
For their Redeemer is strong; He will plead their case . . . 
Psalm 33:4
For the word of the LORD holds true, and we can trust everything he does.
Revelation 19:11
I saw heaven standing open and there before me was a white horse, whose rider is called Faithful and True. With justice he judges and wages war.

  

Reckless Love (the Mike and Ryan definition): 

Reckless Love is taking intentional action in order to benefit the life of another 

without worrying about the consequences. 

Through this roller-coaster ride has allowed our family to be enveloped by the special needs world, along with the world of child-loss, and those who are medically fragile.  God has taught us so many precious things.  After all, He does not cause or allow things to happen without a purpose.  Through Sweet Ellie Kate's life and all we've lived through, all we've experienced; through the intimate ways the Body of Christ has surrounded us, we have learned more about reckless love than we ever knew was possible!  In the past four years specifically, we've learned more about ourselves, our marriage, our living children; we've learned more about the beautiful Body of Christ, at work in their own giftings, even when hasn't been convenient, even when it's meant sacrificing, even when we've let them down . . . The Body has stayed with us through the eleven years of this journey, all because of the reckless love of Christ.  It's simply the only explanation of why someone, who brought us meals in December 2005, still brings us meals in December 2016 - It's because of the works of Father, Son and Holy Spirit within the hearts of man, not because of anything good man has done, but solely because God created us and loves us! 

We long for the world around us to see, taste and feel this same reckless love, and the month of December, the month of Ellie's birth and the month of her death, is the time we've dedicated and invited those around us to participate in acts of service, sacrifice and love.  Specifically, we ask that you take part in providing for the following families which the Lord has laid on our hearts.  You can do just that by clicking on one of the following lists in BLUE, by providing something that is listed, or even something God has laid on your heart to give. 

Christmas Family Adoption 2016

 The Williams Family, whom we've adopted this year for Christmas is in great need of almost everything, as they hardly have any possessions of their own. They are in need of everything from jeans to blankets, from home decorations to pantry items.

Our Adoption Family is made up of Mom, her teenage daughter (14), a son (8), 
as well as a 16 yo girl who is living with them, due to abandonment.  The Amazon gifts will be mailed to our home and we will get them to the family in time for Christmas (mom wants to wrap some gifts herself so we are providing wrapping materials as well).  

 Remember, both the Amazon Wish List and Wish List for 16 yo Girl give you great ideas, but you do NOT have to order only from Amazon.  You can purchase these items, or even similar items! 
We ask only that you get all items to us by December 18th, 
in order for them to be wrapped and delivered in time for Christmas Morning.

Feel free to spread the word about this specific Christmas Adoption -
You never know what the Lord might lead an individual or Community Group, Life Group,  Sunday School class, or even one individual to give this Christmas season!!! 

SIZES:

Mom - Shirt L, Pants/Jeans 10-12 long, Shoes 9

Daughter 14yo - Shirt L, Pants/Jeans 14 long, Shoes 9

Son 8yo - Shirt - kids M, Pants/Jeans M (size 8-10), Shoes 3.5

Teen Girl (16yo teen who lives with the family/father is in prison and mom has essentially abandoned her) - Shirt S/M, Pants/Jeans 0-3, Shoes 6.5; Favorite Color - Red
*This sweet girl needs new underwear, socks, bras, clothes (new and used), coat (new or used), toiletries, and her main wish: a cell phone to stay in contact with her brothers and sisters.  Wish List for 16 yo Girl

GIFT IDEAS: 

Laundry detergent, quarters for laundry (at their apartments), Walmart gift cards for groceries and necessities, JC Penney gift cards for clothes (mom and daughter need new bras), pantry items.  The Williams Family is also in great need of a car (they currently do not have one). 

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"Ellie's Wish" for fellow NKH Families from around the World

As part of the Ellie Kate Wish Fund through NKH Crusaders (which is the main organization supporting NKH families as well as NKH research around the world), these special Amazon Wish Lists were created specifically by individual NKH families.  These particular families were chosen because of their involvement within the NKH Community and because of the needs 
of their special needs/medically fragile children and other "typical/healthy" children as well 
(siblings often feel left out as so much attention has to be given to the child who is sick).

Gifts include items not covered by insurance as well as 
special Christmas gifts for NKH children and their siblings.  

Would you please consider purchasing an item off one of our NKH Family's Wish Lists (click on the link below to see each Amazon Wish List)?  
Each item will be directly mailed to the proper family.  

NKH Family 1
NKH Family1 (cont'd)

NKH Family 2

NKH Family 3

NKH Family 4

God is so good to change my heart and perspective over the last few days.  That doesn't mean I am not hurting physically, mentally and emotionally.  It doesn't mean we are pretending that all is okay, ignoring our feelings and thoughts of Ellie Kate's birthdays and parties in the past.  It just means for now, in this moment, I've been able to give it all to the Father.  He gives me immense joy in knowing other people will be greatly blessed in His name and in Ellie's honor this year.  

If you are holding tight to heartache or bitterness like I was in my last post; if you are struggling in only seeing the bad or can't seem to stop wallowing in your current situations, try sincerely praying and giving it all to the Father.  There are no magic words or rhymes - just a humble spirit, crying out to God for help.  He hears you.  He knows you.  He loves you (no matter what, always and forever).  God IS faithful and true and He can unveil that truth to you now.  Believe me - even if it's a constant struggle to continue to give it over to God and to put it in His hands, it's worth it.  Leaving your problems in HIS hands and out of YOURS brings supernatural, sweet freedom and I am hoping you can find that even now!  

Sweet Freedom!

Bad Dreams, Disappointment and Ellie Kate's Month of Reckless Love

This week, I had a beautiful dream but first, let me fill you in on a few key things so you can really get the jest of it all . . . 

As you may know, to celebrate Ellie Kate's home-going the past three years, we've created Amazon Wish Lists full of books, games and toys for patients who were staying at OU Children's Hospital.  YOU would purchase items directly from the Amazon Wish Lists,and those items were sent directly to our home.  Mike and I would hand-delivered those gifts to patients at OU on December 4th, Ellie Kate's birthday.  After all, Sister Sue spent that last birthday inpatient, where we had a simple little party for her in one of the waiting rooms.  That place, those halls, those rooms are sacred to us and it has been a JOY and delight to hand out gifts to patients while sharing Ellie Kate's story and legacy of Reckless Love; a legacy we want to live out for the rest of our lives. 

Hopefully you've heard that God wanted us to do something different this year. He clearly told us to adopt a small family as part of celebrating Ellie's Month, with the idea of us all coming together in honor of EK, loving, serving and providing for this little family.  The Father literally gave us the perfect family, who's needs are great.  God has also told us to provide for fellow NKH Families around the world,  affected by the same rare and terminal genetic disorder as we are.  We've been led to partner with NKH Crusaders to further "Ellie Kate's Helping Hands", providing wishes of both needs and wants this Christmas.  

So, now that we're all on the same page, let's continue with 

that beautiful dream the Spirit gave to me . . . 

THIS DREAM:  You know the kind, when it's so real you could hear, touch and smell during it's entirety; where you wake up bursting with JOY, grateful for God's faithfulness?! 

Oh Friends, I do so hope you've experienced this in your lifetime!  

In this particular dream, I FELT God's faithfulness, goodness and provision. I was closely watching the Amazon Wish Lists for Ellie Kate's Month of Reckless Love.  In this vivid dream, I literally saw the list for the family we've asked you to join us in adopting this Christmas. I also physically saw the NKH Christmas Wish Lists through NKH Crusaders.

At first in my dream, I saw the Amazon Wish Lists, with the many pictures of items these Sweet Families so desperately need, along with a few little items they want.  Big tears filled my eyes as I realized NONE of the gifts had been purchased and Christmas was almost here! The dreamy tears  flowed and turned into dreamy SOBS.

Out of nowhere, it was as if the Father sweetly lifted my face with His finger.  He had been standing there, looking at the lists with me the entire time and all of a sudden, in some ultra-speedy way, people started purchasing the gifts from the lists!  "PURCHASED!" popped up over and over and over again, and Mike and I were filled with JOY and excitement!

In my dream, I kept praising and thanking God for His provision, for clearly stepping in and fulfilling the needs of families HE alone laid on our hearts.  I praised Him for allowing us to physically SEE His provision, knowing EVERY wish had been granted, knowing EVERY need had been met, knowing EVERY gift would be delivered in time for Christmas morning.  In the dream, I worshiped God as Jehovah Jireh, "the God who provides", and that's when I awoke, still filled with JOY and THANKSGIVING!

Yesterday (Thanksgiving Day), I excitedly looked 
at those same Amazon Wish Lists and I was shocked.  

My dream was coming true - when looking at the lists,  

I saw NOTHING has been purchased off of ANY of our lists. 

Unfortunately, I realize I haven't posted or promoted our lists like I have in past years. Even so, I am terribly disheartened, and being raw with you, I'm sick to my stomach thinking about our Adoptive Christmas Family and our fellow NKH Families, for at this point, NONE will receive the items they need, nor the items they long for this year. 

At this time, our families will not have a single present under the tree in honor of Ellie Kate's Month of Reckless Love, and the mere thought of that breaks my heart into a million pieces.  

Questions flood my mind . . . 

• What have Mike and I done wrong to make it so no one has participated so far? In years's past, most wish lists have been filled and sent to our home for wrapping by this time! 
• Did changing our giving "focus" for the Month of Reckless Love bring too much confusion? Instead of handing out gifts to patients at Children's Hospital, we've clearly felt led to provide Christmas (wants and needs) to a precious, local family in need.  We've also decided to support our fellow NKH families in need, filling their wishes for the "Ellie Kate Helping Hands Project" through NKH Crusaders.  We know God told us to do this, but where is His faithful proof?
• Has it been too long now since Ellie died? Have people just simply, innocently, forgotten about Ellie Kate and The Month of Reckless Love we do in her honor?  It has been four years this December 23rd, and it's completely understandable if people forget, or no longer feel the urgency in supporting these efforts which to us, keep Ellie Kate's name and legacy alive.

As I said, this December 23rd marks FOUR YEARS since Ellie Kate's passing.  FOUR YEARS since I last held her, since I last felt her heartbeat or kissed those gorgeous, pink, full lips and those sweet little earlobes.  To us, it's like yesterday and at moments, like a lifetime ago.  I have learned to never, ever expect people to really "get it".  I don't expect people to understand or remember the anniversaries, birthdays or hard days such as holidays, family celebrations.  Only those who've truly lost a child of their own, whom they've raised, birthed, then buried - only they can bear witness to the type of pain, heartache;  the waves of grief we've tasted too frequently.  Only they know the sleepless nights (like Thanksgiving Night for me), the grief-sickness, and everything in-between.

The holidays are especially rough as you see those close to you happy, continuing to make memories with those they love; you realize again that there are no more memories to be made with your child. There's a sting when walking by that section of clothes where you used to shop for your daughter.  No more Christmas wish lists for him or for her.  There won't be any presents for them  at the Family Holiday Gathering, and why should there be?  They are gone, but the feelings can be ever-so-tender.

This is when the dagger-thoughts start creeping in, "Do they even realize she's gone from the Kid Table? That there's one less place setting again this year?".  "Do my parents, my brothers and sisters, even the cousins - do they remember his/her laugh and mannerisms?".  We often wonder, especially during the holidays, "Will anyone say her name? Will they share a memory (esp without me having to instigate it)?" or maybe, "When we go around the table saying what we are thankful for, will anyone mention My Child?  Or has it simply been too long for everyone else but us?".

It's during this most difficult time that our family needs encouragement from the Body of Christ - from our friends and family around the world.  Is it selfish to shout your needs to the world? Well, I believe the Lord wants me to share my needs and brokenness with you and with those around me, because He wants others to see Christians (true followers of Christ) hurt, mourn and question during life's most tragic times, just like any other human do.  The Body of Christ is called to share each other's burdens and most of the time, I won't know your burden unless you share it with me.  It's what we're called to do; it's in our nature, in our calling as Followers of Christ. Jesus called His Disciples to sell all they had to give away so that they could FULLY follow Him.  He gave them mandates to love, serve and give to the hurting, the widowed, the poor (physically poor and poor in spirit), and the same is true today. Friends, because of the Holy Spirit, we are fully capable of loving these same ways! 

I wish I could explain how important it is to our family that Ellie Kate is remembered, that her legacy continues through others who've known Ellie Kate personally; by those who have known OF and ABOUT EK  and by those who've known and experienced reckless love 

because of her precious life!

Dear Friends, thank you for sticking with me this far on this post.  Let me wrap it all up here below and although I know it isn't a spotless package wrapped perfectly and without flaw, I DO invite you to still open it, to still take part!  

Read here until the very end and click on the links 

to see how you can give, what you can give and who you can give to.  

Christmas Family Adoption 2016

 Our Christmas adopted family  is in great need of almost everything, as they hardly have any possessions of their own. They sleep on beaten-up mattresses, laying directly on the floor.  Their furniture (given to them or taken from out of dumpsters) has holes from cigarette burns and are covered in stains.  They sleep with little blankets and mom wears the same pair of jeans each day.  All three family members share a little flip phone, even though the daughter is in high school and the son is in 2nd grade.  They also do not have a car or computer.   

Although momma especially is incredibly clean and keeps their little home immaculate, she can only use the washer and dryer at the apartment complex.  This only happens when they have detergent and quarters to pay for the machines.  Father/husband is out of the picture and isn't responsible for any financial help at this time (he physically is unable to assist for the foreseeable future).  

Our Adoption Family is just Mom, her teenage daughter and their little son, desperately trying to figure out how to survive, how to find a job while not having a car to get to and from work, etc.  

Would you please consider purchasing an item off of the Adopted Family's Amazon Wish List? 
(click on the link above to see the family's lists) 

 Remember, this Amazon Wish List gives you great ideas (and sizes too), but you do NOT have to order only from Amazon.  You can purchase these items, or even similar items!  There are items from all price-ranges, too!  It was difficult to get the family to list items other than just socks, underwear and groceries, which is further proof of how humble and genuine they truly are.  I had to prod and poke them to choose things for an Amazon Wish List, and I encouraged them to "go big" and put a few extravagant wishes on the lists as well.  You never know what the Lord might lead an individual or Community Group, Life Group, Small Group, Sunday School class, Church, or even one individual to give this Christmas season!!! 

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"Ellie's Wish" for fellow NKH Families from around the World

As part of the Ellie Kate Helping Hands Fund through NKH Crusaders (which is the main organization supporting NKH families as well as NKH research around the world), these special Amazon Wish Lists were created specifically for individual NKH families.  These particular families were chosen because of their background within the NKH Community and because 

of the needs their children with NKH have at this time.

  Families were encouraged to choose items that would bless them this Christmas - gifts for their special AND typical children, as well as needs for their disabled child(ren), 

which aren't currently covered by insurance.  

Would you please consider purchasing an item off one of our NKH Family's Wish Lists (click on the link below to see each Amazon Wish List)?

NKH Family 1

NKH Family 2

NKH Family 3

NKH Family 4

God truly IS faithful and I BELIEVE He WILL fulfill each and every one of these lists!  I believe He will meet the needs of these precious people whom He has laid on our hearts, whom He has told us to share with you.  I believe the dream He gave me will come true, and ALL of us will see the Father at work as Jehovah Jireh, the God Who Provides!  

Thank you for taking part of this most important time of year for us; for remembering Our Daughter and through that, breathing life into our hearts once again.  There are many other good and happy things happening and we cannot wait to share them with you!  We will do so very soon, especially since the gifts will start coming in and our hearts will be at peace, knowing you remember and care!

With Gratefulness, Expectation and Love,

Ryan