An Upcoming Milestone and Movements of the Heart

So, it's been a while since I've posted an update on our family.  I will certainly do that here on this blog but as usual, I want to share some things God has laid on my heart.  You see, I'm on the verge of turning 40 - yes, 40 - later this month!   I've been settling my heart on so much lately.  I'm focusing more on my family and less on social media and the world around me.  

My passions are still the same, loving and advocating in the world of special needs, disability, and child-loss, but I've found IMMENSE JOY and PEACE the last few weeks, staying away from "noise".  

While I can hardly believe I'm about to hit this 40th milestone, 
and as the stun of it all slowly wears off, 
God graciously reminds me of His Unwavering Faithfulness, 
and He's done this away from the noise.  

Last weekend, I spent time with my best girlfriends from college (who are still close friends of mine today).  It had been too long since we had all been together, breaking bread and talking about life and even longer since we had been in college (20 years of friendship!).  The main theme which kept coming up was GOD.  Suddenly, amidst our conversation over yummy wine, I was taken back to my college days, days that were full of a lot of personal heartaches as I struggled to find out what I believed on my own, as I struggled to find out who I was apart from what I had accomplished up until that point. 

It was a scary time in many ways, as I left an extremely protected environment at home, released into an environment that was unlike any other I had ever experienced before.   I absolutely admit to making many wrong choices and many times, I didn't like who I was or what I was doing during that time in my life. Of course, it's totally normal for young people to go through this at some point - some go through it during high school, some during college and some even later on in life.  All of us must face the BIG things - who we believe, what we believe, why we believe it and it's taken me up until now to really sort those things out.  No, I don't have everything figured out in any shape or form, but I AM more grounded and I know who I am more than ever before; I know what I believe and I feel more secure than ever, for which I am extremely grateful for!

90's Girls, For Sure! 

So, back to the dinner with friends - I remembered all of those feelings from 20 years ago and how this group of friends stuck by me through ALL of the ups and downs, the messiness and wonder of life at that time.  Our bond has never broken because of our FAITH in the Lord Jesus Christ - knowing He is the Lord of each of our lives, knowing He is the Lord of each of our families, knowing He allows or causes all things in each other's lives, in the lives of our children, and more!  It was so beautiful to look around the table that night, knowing we've walked through children in the hospital, rare diseases, catastrophic diagnoses; troubles in our marriages, job changes, big moves, and more - God has brought each one of us through all of it.  Sweetly, He's allowed us to walk through it together.  He had a purpose for all of the ups and downs and brought us closer to His heart!  He has made us better women, better mothers, friends, wives, sisters, daughters, and Believers and only HE can redeem all of it for His glory!

I think back to some lonely times when I had no idea what God would do in my life or with my life; how would my life even turn out?  And just as He has walked with me and with my friends together, through life and death and everything in between, He has FAITHFULLY walked me HERE, to where I am now at 40 - this beautiful, messy, broken, happy, intense, journey with Mike, Conner, Ellie Kate, Henry, Lucy, and Bowen Jane.  And while I wouldn't always have chosen the hard places, the dark places, and broken places, HE has a purpose for it all and I can TRUST Him.  He has allowed things and caused things to happen, for OUR good and ultimately, for HIS GLORY!  

Young Mamas (notice a pretty-in-pink Ellie Kate on my lap)

Now, we sit as mothers and wives; made up of two counselors, a teacher, children's ministers, and two speech pathologists. Two of us have ministries going on in Africa, two of us have started non-profits and two of us have adopted children.  We have a total of 18 kids amongst us, ranging from ages 1-18 (which is crazy and fun) and our children proudly come from a rainbow of backgrounds including Hattian, Hawaiian and Hispanic!    Seriously, if you would have told us, back when we were in college, that THIS is where we would be, living THESE beautiful lives, entrusted with THESE precious Beings . . . I don't think we would have believed it.  It sounds too good to be true, in many ways!  But GOD has been FAITHFUL, going above and beyond what we could hope for or ask!

How precious is it that the Lord truly IS faithful?!  

I can SEE it and I KNOW it from my life in the past.  

I can trust that it will continue to happen in the future, 
always and forever, because of HIM. 

It reminds me of a song I learned in childhood; 

one I still find myself singing to this day . . . 

"My Redeemer is Faithful and True,

Everything He has said He will do;

Every morning, His mercies are new!

My Redeemer is Faithful and True."

Remember, especially if you are struggling or in a place of doubt or despair . . . GOD IS faithful and true!  

He will do everything He said He will do and SO much more - 

more than you could ever dream up on your own.

Ask Him to remind you of His faithfulness, 

just as He has so sweetly done for me; 

I know you won't be disappointed.

1 Corinthians 1:9 - God will do this, for he is faithful to do what he says, and he has invited you into partnership with his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.

Numbers 23:19 - God is not a man, so he does not lie. He is not human, so he does not change his mind. Has he ever spoken and failed to act? Has he ever promised and not carried it through?

Hebrews 10:23 - Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise.

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Family Update: 

LUCY: Sister Sue's had two hospital admissions since I last posted and continues to have good days and bads days.  One of the hospital stays was due to a severe staph infection and we are seeing signs of that returning tonight.  I will be calling the doctor first thing in the morning to see what we need to do.  Obviously, it isn't too concerning at this point but I have no idea how they will want to proceed since the first infection was so intense.

HENRY: This Little Man continues to respond well to the IVIG treatment he received this past summer in D.C.  We are STILL struggling with the payment, which was made upfront on our behalf.  We are still trying to get it approved by insurance and at this time, we are thinking of other ways we can find the funds to pay this large bill off.  IVIG has been LIFE-CHANGING for Henry, in the very best way!  In fact, he needs another round of it now.  We are absolutely choosing to trust the Lord in this as we have NO idea how the initial payment will be paid OR how to pay for another treatment, much less a trip to D.C. for the specialized treatment.  We've been working hard with our doctors here in OKC but at this time, there is no immediate chance (nor chance in sight) of receiving the needed transfusion here.

CONNER: He astounds us each and every day, showing us what a wonderful big brother he is to ALL of his siblings!  Conner doesn't have an easy job, we know that as his parent and yet, he joyfully plays and loves his siblings so well.  He proudly pushes Lucy's wheelchair to this day and now, even proudly pushes Bowen's stroller as well (not at the same time, of course). Conner will be in high school this fall, which is hard to believe for ALL of us (him included), so we treasure each day we have with our son, protectively overseeing all he does.  We are beyond proud of Conner and pray God will set goals and godly desires deep within the heart of this young man who has been entrusted to us.

BOWEN: Bowie Jane continues to be the light of each day for me, each moment, even.  All of us have fallen head over heels for this Little Girl who proudly knows each of our names (and says most of them correctly;)).  Each morning, she wakes and immediately says, "Momma!  My Momma?!", and her busy little self is all around the house each and every moment, never slowing down except to sleep.  This GIFT is not lost on me - we are ALL very much aware of this rare blessing we have in Bowen Jane.  Truly, she is a Gracious Gift of God!

Forever and always, THANK YOU for your continued love, support, encouragement, and prayer.  

I say it often, but not nearly enough, we live off your words of life - 

God gives them to us through you, just like manna.  

So, even if we don't respond or are very late in responding, please know that each message, 

text, and voicemail truly mean the world to us!  

I'm praying this week, for God to richly encourage your heart 

the way He uses you to encourage mine.  

Ryan Elizabeth (the soon-to-be 40-year-old!)

He is Faithful!

Hey, Friends!  Forgive me for not updating you sooner concerning Lucy Belle and her flu.  Several of you have inquired as to how she is recovering, and right now, she is doing really well!  Lucy has run a low-grade fever up until today, but really has had no other outward symptoms.  She's still fussy, and I imagine that is from feeling achey from the flu (but that is just a mommy's guess).  Her tummy has been really active the last two days, and we are hoping that doesn't turn into anything either. 

If all goes as planned, Lucy will go back to school on Monday.  This is HUGE for us!  I NEVER would have thought that Lucy would handle the flu outpatient!  Thank you so very much for all of your thoughts and prayers on behalf of Our Little Girl.  I'm just incredibly grateful to the Lord for letting her little body heal at home this week.  

Other than resting and recovering from the flu alongside of Lu Lu this week, I've started digging more into the world of PANDAS, which Henry was diagnosed with this past fall.  Since last Sunday, Henry's behavior has taken a down-turn.  I always hesitate in posting about Henry and his struggles because as his mother, I don't want to overstep my bounds in sharing.  I want to keep every part of Henry safe, including what people think of him and how they see him.  But I also know that you are along the journey with us, and we want you to know how to pray and how to love Henry well.  As one PANDAS mom explains it, although PANDAS is related to the strep virus, it is not "strep in the brain".  It is an autoimmune response to strep, where the antibodies released to attack the strep are able to cross the blood brain barrier (antibodies not the strep bacteria) and the antibodies mistakenly attack the brain, causing inflammation.

It is important to us that you know that Henry has a disease and that he isn't just "acting out".  He has a disorder that takes over and causes inflammation in his brain.  There is little known about PANDAS and very few doctors willing to jump in and treat it at this time.  It seems to be the "big" hospitals that are most interested in PANDAS, and that's where we are now inquiring (Boston Children's, for example).  It's SO incredibly hard to remember the "disease" part when Henry is acting out.  SO. STINKIN'.  HARD.  It would be easier if it were outward, like needing a g-tube or not being able to walk, like Lucy.  Henry looks typical (and is oh-so-handsome, by the way), so everyone expects him to act like a typical six-year-old.  But he doesn't.  

Mike shared with me today that he is concerned with how Henry will handle the real world as he grows up.  It truly is a concern, although I know it is a concern for each and every parent.  But really, will Henry be able to learn to act/react in society?  It's a topic for us to face now with PANDAS on board, and Mike and I want to be armed with the best, most current information out there so that we can help Henry in every possible way.  

Thank you for praying that God would open our eyes and that He would truly bring information our way.  Thank you too for praying that He would open doors and provide opportunities for us to treat Henry properly and to have him seen by the proper doctors and therapists.  

God is so faithful, isn't He?  He is relentlessly faithful, even when we are not; even when we are running from Him.  He lovingly calls us back to His side, often wooing us with His signs of love.  I've seen God's faithfulness so much lately, and I fully expect Him to show Himself faithful where Henry is concerned.  I just need to be patient in the waiting.  


With Hope,
Ryan

March 31, 2006

God is so good!  Thank you for praying specifically for Ellie Kate.  This past week she gained 13 oz, which is huge!  The doctors are so pleased, and will continue to watch her weight over the next few months.

This weekend Ellie will be wearing a heart monitor.  This will check her heart rate and make sure everything is okay.  It is portable and as convenient as you can get with this sort of thing!  We will know the results sometime next week.

We are continually humbled and overwhelmed by the grace, love, support and prayers you are showing us.  Just this week we received an email from a church in Pakistan who fasted and prayed for Ellie Kate for three days!  Their entire church body participated.   Imagine, this church body, who undoubtedly faces extreme persecution and lives amongst violence, taking three days to lift our daughter before the Lord.  What an amazing family of Believers we belong to! Stories like these encourage our hearts and encourage our faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.

Ways to Pray:
1.  That EKM will continue to gain weight
2.  That the heart tests will all show positive things
3.  That EKM's awareness and development will continue to increase

Also, many of you have asked to support us financially.  Again, what a humbling thing for us! Our confidence is in Jehovah Jireh, Our Provider, so we in no way are soliciting or asking for gifts.  We simply want to give you information that people have asked for. Mike's brother Drew is a CPA and is handling some of our donations.  You can make a donation on their website at www.babymaconline.com - just click on the "Ellie Kate McLaughlin" link.

God is so very faithful!  We love and appreciate each of you.

Ryan

March 4, 2006

This week has been a good one!  Ellie Kate now weighs in at 10 pounds - Praise the Lord.  She rolled over several times this week again as well!  We are so pleased that she is gaining strength.  Her constant crying is subsiding as she now takes Previcid twice daily.  It really seems to help settle her down, and I think that is one reason she is gaining more weight!

Things to pray for this week:
1.  That Ellie Kate will become more aware of her surroundings and that she will focus on faces more.
2.  Pray that she will start smiling more for us as she begins to recognize faces
3.  Pray that she will continue to gain weight
4.  Pray for wisdom for the doctors we will see this week

We visit the Geneticist and the Cardiologist this week.  We will be sure to post an update after those appointments!  We are still trusting God to take care of our little girl, we are trusting Him heal her as He sees fit, and we are trusting Him to provide for us through all of this.  He is so faithful!

We love you all!
The McLaughlins
More New Pics:
http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/mwmcl/album?.dir=f235&.src=ph&store=&prodid=&.done=http%3a//photos.yahoo.com/ph//my_photos

January 29, 2006

 Once again, we are home! Ellie Kate was discharged from Baptist on Friday. It was our first weekend home with her since she was born. We've been settling in as a family and getting used to having two little ones! It is such a blessing to have Ellie Kate home.

This week we start meeting with doctors and therapists, and we will hopefully find out more about what we will be facing in the future. Also, Mike and I have been asked to send our DNA to a special lab in Denver, where Ellie's DNA is being studied. It appears that she is somewhat of a mystery even to the genetic experts!

We love you and truly appreciate your love, prayers and support. God is so very faithful. We will post more as things unfold. We hope to see you Tuesday at Oklahoma City University for the spaghetti dinner!

Love,

Ryan

January 20, 2006

EK has been admitted once again to Baptist PICU. They have put her back on the ventilator, but are allowing her to do most of the work breathing. Since she was having labored breathing this morning they wanted to be able to monitor it and stabilize it, thus back on the vent. She isn't being drugged, or in a semi-coma like she was before. She does have a central line once again and is now being fed through a GI tube. But, they are letting her have breast milk. We aren't sure if this is a virus or a product of her NKH (metabolic disorder). They are doing some tests (of course!), and we will hopefully know more soon. Problem is, she is once again being admitted on a weekend, and not much goes on in hospitals during the weekends!

God is still faithful. We continue to believe He is doing great things in and through baby Ellie - we just can't see the big picture at this time, but our trust is in Him. Please just pray that we can figure all of this out. We long for normalcy!

We love you all and will give another update when possible.

Ryan and Mike