Those Mercies Are New Every Morning!

Spring is here in Oklahoma! The birds are singing, our little Japanese Magnolias are blooming and so are Ellie's rose bushes, which were planted shortly after her death.  The Bun-Buns (a.k.a. baby cottontail rabbits) have been spotted  hopping around our neighborhood, and the days are finally long enough for us to take an evening walk in the sunlight (walks are one of Lucy's favorite things!).  

Although Spring is known as "allergy season" here in our State (we have some of the worst pollens in the U.S. - yay!) and "migraine season" for some of us lucky ones, it's still a wonderful time of year.  NEW LIFE is all around us and it is a perfect reminder to me that nothing stays the same with God.  His mercies are always new!  He is continuously changing us for the better - for our good and for HIS glory - despite how it may look or feel to us at the time.

"MERCIES" (as defined by Meriam Webster)- 

• compassion or forbearance shown especially to an offender or to one subject to one's power; also :  lenient or compassionate treatment 
• imprisonment rather than death imposed as penalty for first-degree murder
• a blessing that is an act of divine favor or compassion
• a fortunate circumstance
• compassionate treatment of those in distress 

Spring is most definitely becoming one of my most favorite times of year, for this very reason:  New Beginnings.  New Chances.  New Mercies.  ALL THINGS NEW! God reminds me that HE alone makes things new, and in the deepest of my shadows, He shows me that He does EVERYTHING in HIS set, appointed time.  It is never by "chance" or happenstance for us as Believers.  God orchestrates our lives, just as He orchestrates the seasons, and we can trust His good wisdom as the Creator of All!  How exciting is that?!

Ecclesiastes 3:1-15(NLT)

A Time for Everything

3 For everything there is a season,
    a time for every activity under heaven.
2 A time to be born and a time to die.
    A time to plant and a time to harvest.
3 A time to kill and a time to heal.
    A time to tear down and a time to build up.
4 A time to cry and a time to laugh.
    A time to grieve and a time to dance.
5 A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
    A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
6 A time to search and a time to quit searching.
    A time to keep and a time to throw away.
7 A time to tear and a time to mend.
    A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
8 A time to love and a time to hate.
    A time for war and a time for peace.

9 What do people really get for all their hard work? 10 I have seen the burden God has placed on us all. 11 Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end. 12 So I concluded there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can. 13 And people should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of their labor, for these are gifts from God.

14 And I know that whatever God does is final. Nothing can be added to it or taken from it. God’s purpose is that people should fear him. 15 What is happening now has happened before, and what will happen in the future has happened before, because God makes the same things happen over and over again.

It's Spring Break for our kids and we've been laying low, watching movies, spending time with friends, and playing outside, A LOT.  It's been beautiful here, and I've been able to take Lucy on many walks, which she adores (she is our 'nature-girl').  Henry went on a mini-vacation with My Parents the first several days of the break and came home with all kinds of stories of adventures and excitement.  I'm so thankful he got away and was able to expend some energy that way.  Conner is a home-body and has loved every moment of this "boring break"- reading, riding his bike, playing with legos, smores with neighborhood friends, etc.  Our Boys are oh-so-different as Conner is content to be low-key and Henry is absolute high-energy, constantly needing an outlet.  It makes for quite the challenge, but all in all, it's been a fantastic Break.

 Henry's Adventures with Nunnie and Poppie!

UPDATES . . . 

CONNER:  A week ago Thursday, we enrolled Conner in junior high.  You read that correctly - Conner starts junior high next fall!  I can hardly believe it.  And while I wish we could send him to Private-Christian school, Conner is very eager and excited to be spending his junior high years with the same group of friends he has had since first grade.  Conner has some wonderful friends with great parents, whom we trust.  We are grateful, although I do admit to being extremely nervous for next fall and for all of the things junior high in public school will bring.  Sweet Conner and I were able to attend the enrollment by ourselves, and he too was nervous - teeth chattering, tummy hurting, palms sweating; it's a BIG change, but one that has to happen.  It's a change that God brings, so I know I can trust Him, even though this step is super hard for both Conner AND Momma!  

Another exciting thing about Conner - he has been going to church Sunday evenings with friends from school!  Since our Church Family (Bridgeway Church) is so far North (it takes a good 30 mins to get there, but we love it!),  Mike and I felt led to pray that Conner would be able to get involved with a local Community of Believers - where he can go to Church with friends he does life with - and God has provided just that!  Mike and I couldn't be more excited to watch Conner get fired up each Sunday for church.

Conner's Big Spring Break Purchase 

(Our 12 year old is now in men's sizes)

HENRY:  Henry's had a hard time adapting back into our family life after his vacation.  PANDAS causes Henry to dread changes AND the unexpected, and of course the Break brings both of those things.  I'm so happy to have My Henry back home, but it has been incredibly difficult for him to get back into the swing of things.  This time, the way he has acted out is through verbal and physical abuse towards me.  This is OFTEN the case in children with PANDAS.  They act out towards the ones they love the most - the ones they feel the safest with - the ones they know will
never stop loving them.

We would also love prayers as Henry's supplemental insurance through the state (TEFRA) is being re-evaluated this coming month.  It's a nervous thing to think about - medical professionals from the state, looking over Henry's records and determining whether or not he should be allowed to continue services.  We of course are praying that they will rule in our favor!  If we did not have TEFRA, there would be no way we could get Henry the help that he needs (therapies, medical supplies, medications, doctor visits, specialists, MRI's, EEG's, routine blood work, etc).  We are truly grateful for such a wonderful program, and even though we will most likely always pay portions of Henry's treatments (experimental, non-FDA approved, etc), GOD provides for us through the State and we so appreciate you praying for favor on our behalf!

LUCY:  Our Golden-Haired Girl continues to grow and change, right before our eyes.  Lucy's grown a few inches in height over the last several months, which means her little body is looking more and more like that of her Big Sister.  There are so many mixed feelings that come with that, but I do admit that Lucy's mere change in size has been pretty difficult for me to face.  I remember well, Ellie Kate being just that size - and she didn't grow to be much bigger.  Lucy will be five in September.  Will we have her with us for seven years, like EK?  Will God allow us to take care of her for a longer period of time?  No one truly knows, so each day, I try to give her kisses for a lifetime (sometimes she loves the kisses and sometimes she does not!), and we do our best as a family, to make as many special memories as possible.

Lucy's Spring Break Adventures 

MIKE:  If you've seen Mike lately, you can't help but notice the giant PINK cast on his foot and ankle.  That's right, he chose PINK to represent the girls and he will be sporting it for about another month.  He cannot drive, nor put weight on the foot itself, which means he is super limited.  I've gotten a tiny taste of doing things all on my own - driving him to and from work, driving both kids to and from practices, etc.  It's made me realize just how much Mike does for our family!  He is an amazing husband and Daddy, constantly helping and running around so I don't have to.  Now it's my turn to serve Mike, and although my Interstitial Cystitis is continuing to flare, God's been faithful to give me the energy to do all that my family has needed.  Mike and I covet your prayers that God would continue to give me energy and more importantly, that the Father would continue to heal Mike's foot and bring ease of pain as well!

HOSPITALIZATION: Next week is a BIG WEEK for Henry as he will be admitted to OU Children's Hospital for 3-5 days.  Henry will be staying in the EEG Monitoring Unit, where he will be hooked up continuously, as they try to catch every seizure Henry has at every point of the day or night.  I'm trying to talk-it-up with Henry, reminding him how he can watch T.V. as much as he wants, how he gets to eat the food from the cafeteria (Our Little Men LOVE eating in the hospital cafeteria!), and how he will get special treatment.  In reality, I cannot imagine this Little Boy being in his room/in his bed/in the hospital without running, jumping and playing like he normally does.  How will he get his energy out?  How will he adapt to the changes in environment?  Will I physically and mentally be able to stay with him by myself the entire time (I want to!)?  Lots of questions and not many answers.  I DO know that God is WITH us and FOR us, so I'm choosing to rest in Him, giving Him all of my thoughts and concerns.  Otherwise, I will drive myself nuts.  

Our Sweet Friends have set up a meal calendar for us during these next busy days and weeks.  We are so grateful for the meals you've continued to bring us over the last ten years!  Thank you for serving us during a difficult time - 

http://www.takethemameal.com/meals.php?t=XTTH9220

As we approach this Easter Season, I pray that God would remind you of the NEW LIFE, NEW BEGINNINGS and NEW MERCIES that He brings to us through His Son, Christ Jesus!  

God sent His only son to come live a perfect life in a broken, human body.  

Jesus was our sinless, perfect Sacrifice.  

When Jesus chose to give His life for us on the cross; 

when He became the sacrifice for OUR sins, 

He conquered the penalty of sin, once, for all and forever!  

Jesus conquered death and rose again on the third day, allowing us to spend eternity in Heaven with Him - no more sin, no more sickness, no more brokenness, no more sorrow!

  The ONLY way to abundant life here on earth and eternal life in heaven with God, is to give our lives over to Jesus.  

There are no magic words.  

There is no perfect prayer to pray.  

Just call out to God, asking Jesus to forgive you of your sins.  

Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and become a NEW CREATION this Spring - 

Receive the ULTIMATE new beginning; 

the BEST new mercy; 

the most PRECIOUS new, abundant life.  

Ephesians 2:1-10 (ESV)

"And you were dead in the trespasses and sins 2 in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— 3 among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body[a] and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind.[b] 4 But[c] God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, 5 even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— 6 and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, 7 so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. 8 For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, 9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast. 10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them".

2 Corinthians 5:17 (ESV)

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. 

The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.

Romans 6:3(TLB)

Should we keep on sinning when we don’t have to? For sin’s power over us was broken when we became Christians and were baptized to become a part of Jesus Christ; through his death the power of your sinful nature was shattered. 

4 Your old sin-loving nature was buried with him by baptism when he died; and when God the Father, with glorious power, brought him back to life again, you were given his wonderful new life to enjoy.

5 For you have become a part of him, and so you died with him, so to speak, when he died;[a] and now you share his new life and shall rise as he did.

Colossians 3:3-4(ESV)

If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2 Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. 3 For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. 4 When Christ who is your[a] life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

Romans 1:17 (TLB)

                                                    

"This Good News tells us that God makes us ready for heaven—makes us right in God’s sight—when we put our faith and trust in Christ to save us. This is accomplished from start to finish by faith. As the Scripture says it,
 “The man who finds life will find it through trusting God.”

New Mercies! 

Lamentations 3:22-23 (ESV)

22 

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;[a]

    his mercies never come to an end;

23 

they are new every morning;

    great is your faithfulness.

Jesus, thank you for paying the penalty of my sin so that I might have NEW LIFE and new beginnings!  You are so good, Father.  Let us see your goodness, your kindness, your majesty in the world around us this happy spring season.  May we forever be reminded that you have designed it ALL and that you orchestrate our lives down to the most intimate of details.  I choose to trust you, Lord - even when I don't feel it, see it or understand it, because I KNOW who you are and what you do.  

Only Because of Him,

Ryan

Are you an American or Christian, first?

It's a strange time in Our Country.  

It's hard to see who is truly right and who is wrong; whom do we follow and will they bring the change we are longing to see in Our Nation?  Whom do we trust?  

It's a battle for Our Land, Our Children, Our Future . . . this Election Season is a battle for Our Hearts.   

Some "Christians" in the United States love America and their "rights" MORE than they love the Father who created them, who redeemed them, who is coming again for them one day.  

It's true.  Look around you.  
Why are we so angry about holding on to what we believe is ours?  

Why do we want to 
"Make America Great Again"?  

Where does that show that our security lies?  

Philip. 5:4-8 (The MSG), "Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of himself. He had equal status with God but didn’t think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what. Not at all. When the time came, he set aside the privileges of deity and took on the status of a slave, became human! Having become human, he stayed human. It was an incredibly humbling process. He didn’t claim special privileges. Instead, he lived a selfless, obedient life and then died a selfless, obedient death—and the worst kind of death at that—a crucifixion".

• MY security does NOT lie in Man.
• MY security does NOT lie in a Political Party.
• MY security does NOT lie in keeping the American Dream.
• MY security isn't based on border walls and mass deportations.  
• MY security isn't based on what I've earned or how hard I've worked to gain what I posses.
• MY security isn't in my pay check or possessions.  
• My security is not in FEAR of what I don't understand.
• My security is not in FEAR of WHO I don't understand.

MY Security lies with the God of the Universe - the one who Created Heaven and Earth.  

In Christ, we have no possessions.  

We have no country.  We have nothing.  

As Believers, we are called to lay it all down at the feet of Jesus.  When we accept Christ, we accept HIM as Lord. 

• Not Christ PLUS our possessions
• Not Christ PLUS our family
• Not Christ PLUS our dreams, aspirations, plans
• Not Christ PLUS our country

NO.  We are called to lay it ALL down - American Dream, ideals, hopes, beliefs, family, faith, security - everything. 
Apart from Him, we ARE nothing and HAVE nothing.

No, it's NOT the American Dream, 

but Jesus didn't create that dream - man did.  

True Believers of Christ - the ones who've surrendered their lives to Him, calling on Him for salvation, for forgiveness of sins, for the hope of eternal life . . . 

HOW and WHY are you trying to place your hope in a man who promises you the things of this world?????

". . . so guard yourself in your spirit, and do not be faithless", Malachi 2:15-16

Why is our guard down?  Why are we giving into the  temptation of security promises here on earth?  

That, My Friend, is not from God.  

The only true security a Believer has is in Christ.  

One of the scariest things about it all is that so many people claiming to be Christians, claiming to be Christ-followers, are following the Presidential Candidate who is LEAST LIKE CHRIST.  And Folks, that is NOT okay.  

We are  falling into a scary trap.  A trap much like the People of God have fallen into over and over and over again (look at the Old Testament).  The root of that, in my mind, is pure selfishness and pride, and the fruit of those things are ugly - control, envy, and most of all, FEAR.  

Let's face it, the World IS a scary place (and will continue to evolve into an even MORE scary place until the Return of Christ).  

News Flash - it isn't going to get easier!

And  you know what?  That is good for us as True Believers, because 

it means that Christ is coming soon!

Hebrews 13:14(ESV)

For here we have no lasting city, but we seek the city that is to come

1 Peter 2:11-1 (ESV)

Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul. 12 Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation.

  

Oh, Believer!!!! 

• I could tell you that tonight in Kansas City, Trump told those with opposing views to "go to hell". 
• I could remind you of the way he so cruelly made fun of a reporter with a physical disability 
• How he has talked of "changing the rules" to give us more access, more "freedoms", more "rights", including killing families of our enemies. 
• I could tell you how he has been asking folks at his rallies to raise their right hands as a public showing of their support (does that remind you of someone?).   
• If I could, I would surely ask you how you explain Mr. Trump's behavior (language, promotion of violence, etc) to your children???  

Believers, we cannot choose what we believe to be "OUR FREEDOMS", OVER a leader who acts most UN-like the God we claim to follow.  

Did you catch that?  

For a Christ-Following Believer, 

electing a President who will act like Christ

 IS FAR MORE IMPORTANT THAN 

putting first (what deem to be your own) 

YOUR FREEDOMS or RIGHTS.  

I'm not promoting any candidate here, Friends (although I have made my choice).  I'm not saying that any of the candidates are completely Christ-like.  

What I AM saying is that as Believers, 
we die to our rights and put GOD first.  

 Who will help us most live like Christ?  
Who will help our Nation be more like Christ?

So, let's step up.  Let's act like True Followers of Christ, who know what God has done for us and what He will do - 

Believers who don't trust in this World, but rather lay down our rights in honor of Christ.

Let's get on our knees and pray, like never before, asking God to capture Our People, asking God to be glorified, asking God for mercy, asking God to give us a Commander-in-Chief who acts more like Christ.

Most Importantly, Let's Pray for REVIVAL, because it always comes during seasons of turmoil.  
Lord, let it be!   
**************************************

• *The foolish spew folly from their mouths (Proverbs 15:2).
• The foolish despise instruction and reproofs from those who are wiser (Proverbs 15:5).
• When the foolish try and speak in a dignified manner it feels artificial (Proverbs 17:7).
• Rebukes just bounce off of the foolish (Proverbs 17:10).
• The foolish love to boldly pronounce their opinions (Proverbs 18:2).
• The foolish have repeatedly been ensnared by their words in their past (Proverbs 18:7).
• The foolish are often characterized by quarreling (Proverbs 20:3).
• The foolish frequently disregard wisdom (Proverbs 23:9).
• When others stoop to engage the foolish according to their folly, they end up looking foolish themselves (Proverbs 26:4).
• The foolish have a history of repeating their folly (Proverbs 26:11).
• Those known to be wise are concerned and burdened by the words and actions of the foolish (Proverbs 27:3).
• The foolish rage or mock when arguing with others (Proverbs 29:9).
• The foolish love to give full vent to their spirit (Proverbs 29:11).
• The foolish are quick to speak (Proverbs 29:20).
• The foolish are often characterized by shouting (Ecclesiastes 9:17).
• The foolish may consider themselves religious, but their unbridled tongues show that religion to be worthless (James 1:26).
• The foolish look with haughty eyes (Proverbs 6:17).
• The foolish engage in slander (Proverbs 10:18).
• The foolish joke about their wrongdoing (Proverbs 10:23).
• The foolish make great boasts (Psalm 12:3).
• The foolish are stubbornly right in their own eyes (Proverbs 12:15).
• The foolish are quickly annoyed by insults (Proverbs 12:16).
• The foolish lash out in rash words like sword thrusts (Proverbs 12:18).
• The foolish express no shame over their folly (Proverbs 13:16).
• The foolish speak and act with recklessness and carelessness (Proverbs 14:16).

*How to Recognize a Foolish Leader by Desiring God Ministries

Please also read: How Christianity Explains Trump

Be Gracious to My Spinning Plates!

The last several days have felt like a whirlwind.  Mike had his surgery on Friday, and it went incredibly well!  The doctor was amazed that Mike had been walking on that foot for so long.  He said, "it was REALLY messed up", and proceeded to show us (with his hands) how long the tendons were which he repaired.  They also sent a bone biopsy and we should get the results soon.   Friday evening was so strange.  I was in a haze of confusion, or so it felt.  I think I had been carrying a lot with Mike's surgery, even though I didn't know it.  We have so much "medical" past, and that can be detrimental at times.  The kids all went their separate ways, except Miss Lucy, who stayed home with the nurse.   Jayme, Mike's mom stayed with Mike while I went to our Hope Link Board Meeting.  Apparently, that too was weighing on my heart, mind and even body. Our meeting went very well - it was so sweet and good, and the Lord leads Hope Link!  I came home refreshed, yet tired and worn.   We had a very hard time controlling Mike's pain even immediately after the surgery.  That continued into the weekend.  We mixed in soccer games and both sets of Grandparents were quite involved, helping us get everything run smoothly, all while taking care of Michael.  It was a good day.   Sunday was normal, as I cared for Mike and the boys were with grandparents.  I started feeling like I was getting a cold, so that evening, I took some mucinex and cold medicine.  OH MY WORD.  You guys!  All day Monday, I was completely out of it.  I barely remember it, really.  I went to appointments with Mike and he had to wake me up.  He drove because I was so sleepy.  We got home and I slept all day and night, waking a few times.  It was the WORST, MOST confusing thing ever!  Even this morning was a struggle and thankfully my parents were on hand to get the kids off and Mike's parents took him to work for a bit.  It's like Monday never existed to me, and it scared me to death, especially with what my Momma has been through with the medication mix-ups.   I've felt low today, I'm sure so much of it has to do with that stupid medication being inside of my body.  But overall, I think I've let things get to me - the surgery, terribly missing Ellie Kate, school, behavior, my pain, my mother, the sudden death of Mike's former boss, finances.  There is always someone who needs you, something you've missed, something you've forgotten, someone else to call, more things to organize (I think these apply to ALL of us, especially the women). All things spinning on so many different plates, and I've tried to balance them as best as I could.  I have been taking a break from things for that very reason, but once again this weekend, that all crept back up in my heart, in my mind.    Lessons Learned: When you start getting overwhelmed, RUN to Jesus.   When your heart is picking up speed, RUN to the Word of God and READ.  When your thoughts won't stop DROP to your knees and pray.   And don't take mucinex and cold medicine!   I'm with you all the way!  And, MOST importantly - you won't get lost in the midst of the chaos and unknowns, because God knows every end and every out. He knows every situation.  He knows every mess-up you've had.  He will be with you when you make things right  He made your every being, Friend. He is FOR you! And as a Dear Friend showed me tonight - The Lord WILL be gracious to you and may that graciousness come swiftly; may it fall over you like rain.  May His graciousness balance your plates!  The Lord Will Be Gracious (ESV) 18  Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you,     and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the Lord is a God of justice;     blessed are all those who wait for him.

Daily Bread

It's just been too long since I've written and updated the world, and all of our friends, on how this roller coaster-life is currently going.  If you've followed us from the beginning, you likely remember that silence from the McLaughlin Clan is usually a good thing!  It means that things haven't been too wild and crazy, although we most certainly continue to have our twist and turns as well as those unexpected drops where you lose your stomach.

We celebrated my 38th birthday last weekend, and it was such a treat!  Mike's parents and my parents both pitched in so we could have a date night, plus an entire day together, PLUS a family birthday party!  I felt so loved.  It was perfect!

As I type, Lucy is laughing and giggling from her bedroom.  It is SUCH a precious sound from this little "Kitty" of ours.  Lucy gained that nick-name when she was just a few weeks old.  Although she cried at birth, she didn't cry at any other time while she was in the NICU.  The first time I heard her voice (other than in the delivery room) was in the NICU Village, where the parents stay the night with the children, learning to take care of those extra special needs they will go home with.  Lucy was about a month old, and I woke in the middle of the night to this cat sound.  I swear I thought there was a cat somewhere in that room or on that floor!  I even looked around and finally, I realized it was our sweet,golden-haired girl, expressing herself in voice independently, for the first time.  From then on, Lucy has been known as the "Kitty Cat".  It's funny too, because Ellie Kate was "Wild Cat", with her tomboy behavior and reputation of pulling hair and biting both friend and foe.  Ellie always did it in style though - hair bows and tutu's, glitter and frills.  Oh, what a GIFT it is to be their Mother!!

Recent photo of Ellie Kate's Spot, ready for the Month of Love!

Since I last posted, Lucy had an ER visit for a UTI.  Henry had a sedated MRI to check on the abnormalities shown on the MRI taken in October.  Mike had a bone scan on the ankle and foot he injured right before Christmas.  I've had the "usual" - migraines and some very painful, intense Interstitial Cystitis flares, but overall the Lord has really helped me get around and do everything I've needed to get done!  Conner has floated right along and continues to be an encouragement to both me and Mike, stepping in and helping so often.  He is such a joy!  God has protected our family and continues to provide for us.

More Updates . . . 

• Lucy's infection has healed. She is finally back in school full-time and is loving every moment!  Lucy has started screaming spells again, which are just awful for her AND for us.  She seems to wake up, not knowing where she is, almost as if she can't see where she is.  We appreciate your prayers that her little mind will settle down and that these spells will completely stop.  

•  Henry's started a new, weekly Behavioral Therapy with a trusted professional, and he is doing incredibly well with it.  His PANDAS has been under control the last two weeks, and with some medication tweaks, his OCD has finally settled down, allowing him to enjoy life a little more.  

Henry has a new love (or obsession) with basketball, and is constantly bouncing his OKC Thunder basketball around the house and outdoors, practicing all along the way.  His new goal - to be in the NBA.

• Conner is happy that his spring soccer season is underway and he is enjoying the warm weather that allows him to spend hours after school playing with his friends.  It's so fun to watch him develop relationships; to see him grow and change.  He recently got his bottom braces and his top ones will soon follow!

Our eldest has been attending a youth group at a local church, which we are super excite about!  Conner gets to go with his school friends to church each Sunday night, thanks to some precious friends who pick him up and bring him home faithfully.  He is LEARNING and drinking in all that he hears and sees when he goes. It is incredibly important to us that Our Boys have community where they do life - physically, academically and now spiritually.   It blesses Mike and I so much to watch Conner grow spiritually, especially bc he is doing it apart from us!  Conner takes the initiative and goes, loving each moment.  I'm grateful he has some really good school friends who come from awesome, Christian families!  We are SO grateful for the "typical" experiences we have with Conner!

Our BIG Prayer Request is for Mike and his ankle.  He is set to have reconstructive surgery this Friday morning.  It will be rather extensive, seeing that this ankle (and bone) has been infected before, so there is already trauma to that area.  He has torn ligaments, separated tendons, and more (doesn't it all sound lovely?!) but all should be repaired by this surgery!  We are super grateful for wonderful surgeon, who has a great reputation and strong character.  He is a Believer and we know the Holy Spirit will guide him throughout Mike's surgery.

We covet your prayers for the following:

• That God would give wisdom to the doctors/surgeons/nurses involved
• That God would supernaturally guide the surgeons hands 
• That Mike's bone would respond well and that NO INFECTION would come up
• That pain would be limited
• That healing would be swift
• That Mike could get back to work quickly (that is HIS request, btw:)).  

There are some special Truths I want to share, including parts of our sermon at Bridgeway Church yesterday.  Today doesn't seem to be the day to share it all with you, but I do want to leave you with this: 

John 6:1-35

Jesus didn't just come to GIVE us our daily bread.  Jesus came to BE our daily bread - to be the bread that fulfills us completely, like those who were fulfilled at the 

"Sermon on the Mount".  

There is NO other satisfaction than Jesus.  There is NO other fulfillment.  We cannot add to it either, you guys!  It's not, "offer your best and I will do the rest" - it is complete surrender to God, giving it ALL to Him, knowing that I have NOTHING apart from Him. 

 It isn't, "God helps those who help themselves" (which isn't in the Bible, btw). 

It is JESUS.  HE is our satisfaction.  Not politics, nor leaders; not riches, nor security, not our abilities or disabilities . . . it's Christ alone.  

I pray you find your ALL in Christ Jesus today; He who fulfills us continually, always and forever. 

To Hear the Entire Sermon from Seth Stewart at Bridgeway Church, visit the following:

http://www.bridgewaychurch.com/mediaPlayer/#sermonaudio/382

Surgeries, Infections and More

What a week!  From surgeries, to hospital stays, infections, sickness and more - we've covered a lot of it in just a few days. I've found myself recitiing Psalm 27:1 over and over again.  In fact, I've been singing it!  My Mom taught it to us in song when we were children, and I've enjoyed singing it to her melody throughout this week of busyness.


Momma came home this week, and although she is weak and tired, she is doing incredibly well, and her personality is shining through.  She still has some physical issues going - outward and inward.  She is so strong and is fighting through very hard.  We are so proud of her and so thankful for all of your prayers!


Mike was out of town this week for work.  He's in the oil and gas industry which, as everyone knows, isn't doing so well right now.  Amazingly, the Lord alone is responsible for keeping Mike's job safe and sound, and for helping Mike continue to work hard.  Unfortunately, Mike's ankle is STILL causing him a ton of pain and seems to still be infected.  This is from the same injury in December, when he fell out of the attic and hurt his ankle.  He tore several ligaments and sprained it really badly.  Doctors believe he needs surgery to repair it, but first, they need to rule out osteomyelitis.  This is the same exact thing Mike dealt with in high school, which almost took his life. It's super scary to even think about this infection being a possibility.  But, right now, we are choosing to trust the Lord.  As Psalm 27:1 says, The Lord is our Stronghold!  Whom shall I fear?!  This Thursday, Mike will undergo a bone scan that will reveal whether or not the osteomyelitis is back.  We covet your prayers.

Lucy had her third ear tube procedure on Friday, which went incredibly well.  Mom came with me, and although I could tell she was so tired mentally and physically, she pushed through to help me since Mike wasn't able to be there.  Henry was having a hard day, so my Dad needed to care of him and the PANDAS flare that came up this week.  I am FOREVER grateful for parents who are willing to drop everything, even to the detriment of their OWN health and happiness, to make sure we are well taken care of.  THAT is true love, you guys.

Nunnie and Lucy Belle pre-surgery

Valentine Princess in the OR Waiting Room

We've had to stay home from Church again this Sunday due to Mike's ankle, which is hurting even MORE after his week away on work (he was standing all day, every day).  I'm recovering from a sinus infection which hasn't responded well to antibiotics, and has kicked me off my feet worse than ANY stupid sinus infection I've ever had in my life; and Henry is recovering from med increases due to the recent flare.  Most importantly and worrisome to this Mommy right now, is that Lucy is running fever.  It isn't super high, but we know that, when Lucy runs any type of temp, she is sick.  Her trembling and chills remind us so much of those of Sweet Ellie during her last days of hospice.  Lucy is NO WHERE NEAR that sick, but the behaviors at this time so resemble each other, and that can be hard.  The boys have noticed it too, how much Lucy resembles Ellie Kate when she is now so sick and as she is now getting bigger, closer to the size Ellie was as they last remember her here on earth.

Ellie Kate's "Spot" ready for Valentine's Day

Yes - we DO crave your prayers, your words of encouragement, your revelations from the Lord on our behalf.  Truly, God has given us a peace, and I can say that with FULL confidence.  But that doesn't take away the memories, the sad feelings and thoughts that come along with watching another NKH Princess suffer.

The World around us is suffering.  It is OUR job, as Believers, to offer hope, hands and feet.  And God will work it and use it and play it out for His Glory and for the Good of ALL involved - the sick, the servants, the obedient, and their families.  He is SO good.  

Psalm 27:1, "The Lord is My Light and My Salvation, whom shall I fear?  The Lord is the stronghold of My Life, of whom then shall I be afraid?" - ESV

Lamentations 3:22-24, "God's loyal love couldn't have run out, his merciful love couldn't have dried up, They're created new every morning.  How great your faithfulness!  I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over).  He's all I've got left." - The MSG

Momma and Baby

Last Wednesday afternoon, I received a text and a phone call . . . my Daddy was taking Momma back to the ER, to the CLOSEST ER, to be exact.  He thought he could get her faster if he jumped in the car and drove her himself, instead of calling 911.  She was breathing just fine, but was incoherent and dizzy, and also extremely sick to her stomach.


After a very long night, Mom was admitted back to the ICU, but this time she is in a different hospital.  She has had assistance breathing, but has not been on the ventilator - a HUGE praise!  At this time, mom is in a regular room and is physically doing much better; she is stable as far as her numbers are concerned.  However, she is unable to eat because she is unable to respond to simple questions and commands.  She doesn't know what year it is.  She gets confused on where she is, constantly asking where she is and why she is there.  She doesn't recognize my sister and myself at times, but consistently does recognize my Daddy.  She cries out and moans in pain.  She has an NG tube that is constantly sucking green bile from her stomach (there is so much - we just don't know why it keeps producing).  She is on fluids but isn't getting any medications except for those that will help her anxiety and nausea.


I want to make some things clear about my Momma and all that has transpired . . . NONE of this has been caused because of an overdose of any kind.  What DID happen was that she was sent by her PCP to a new pain doctor.  This doctor didn't seem to pay close attention to what she was taking for other ailments and didn't seem to pay close attention to the large amount of medication he prescribed her.  He also didn't seem to think through any possible interactions of with current medications my mother was on.  So, on the second day of my mom taking the medications this new pain doctor gave her; when she was taking the medications EXACTLY as she was told to take them, it caused what appeared to be a severe reaction/interaction AND on top of that, mom had too much of the medication in her system, per her doctor's instructions.  This has been verified by all involved and there is absolutely NO questions of negligence or harm on the part of my Sweet Momma.  She was absolutely doing what she was told.  It was absolutely the fault of the new doctor (and in our family's opinion, the fault of all involved).  This was immediate apparent to the ER physicians and nurses who commented on the doses Mom was on, and thus a lawyer was contacted and now has taken over our case.  Thankfully, he is taking great care of my Mom and Dad.  We would love continued prayers for wisdom and guidance for this attorney!


This second hospitalization DOES indeed have something to do with the initial one, unfortunately.  When Momma was at St Anthony's they took her off ALL medications, even those she had been on for over 30 years.  They wanted to start fresh and clean, which sounded wonderful to us - it sounded like the best thing to do for mom. We hoped the delusions and other impairments Momma faced there were because she was coming off of those medications that had been in her system for so long.  When Mom was discharged from St. Anthony's hospital this past Monday, they went ahead and put her back on most of those same medications again (I didn't know this until recently).  This included the two medications that new doctor had put her on, except that the doses were much, much lower.  They wanted to wait for her to seen an internist to change everything appropriately.  I am SO angered at this, you guys.  Maybe it was the right thing, but it just doesn't feel right to me.  I wasn't there and I didn't speak with the doctors that day - My Daddy did and I know he too only wants what is best.  And we seem to naturally just trust doctors and what they say and what they tell us to do, because, well . . . they are DOCTORS.  We think they are smarter than us and more equipped, and in most cases, I am sure that is the truth.  But they aren't always right - we've learned that for sure.  They aren't always right only because they also are human, just like you and just like me!  That's why they call it the "practice of medicine" (as Michael so often reminds me).  They are just doing what they think is best and sometimes (not all the time) there are doctors who don't pay enough attention, there are doctors who discharge too early, there are doctors who don't put in enough time to make sure things are all settled before they send the patient home.  I'm scared this is what happened with Mom's last hospitalization.

I'm not sure how Momma will be from here on out.  I don't know if she will get better.  I don't know if we will get our Nunnie back, and that breaks my heart.  I hate that Mom feels so paranoid and confused.  We covet your prayers and love for my parents during this time, that is for sure!

On a MUCH happier note, I'm feeling more at peace than I have in a very long time.  God has given me great patience with life.  He's been calling us to simplify (me specifically), so I've taken a break from leading Hope Link and I've stopped trying to do Plexus and Rodan and Fields.  It was CLEAR that God wanted my attention and didn't want me striving to do those "good" things right now.  Sometimes we must let go of doing the "good" in order to taste the abundant greatness the Lord has to offer!

In all of that, God has continued to deepen our desire for another baby.  We won't be having any other biological children.  It's impossible for us to do that any longer and it's just too scary, knowing that one out of EACH of our pregnancies could result in NKH.  We believe God is calling us to adoption - the adoption of a newborn baby girl.

We don't know God's timing.  We don't know if this little girl will come to us soon or if it will be a while before God allows her to come into our lives.  He has shown us SO many signs in the physical AND spiritual, and we have no doubts that this is what He is leading us to.  We just don't know when, but we are eagerly placing that all in His hands.  We don't want ANYTHING that is NOT from Him, and I mean that with my whole heart.

As we sat to dinner last night, Mike and I both felt like someone was missing.  It wasn't Ellie Kate though, as oddly as that sounds.  We were missing a little baby!  It's strange how we both felt it, but it's just like God to do that and to unify us in our feelings and desires.  We DO know that God will bring us a baby by "word of mouth" and that we won't be going through an agency (unless God changes our hearts).  We believe this won't be a stressful thing, but a beautiful, natural thing from God.  We wanted to share this today so that you can put the word out, if the Spirit so leads:).

For six days last week, we were able to take care of a precious, gorgeous little baby who lives at the Oklahoma Baptist Children's Home with her mommy and big brother.  This little one doesn't need a home - she a one and her mom is working hard to make an even better one for her and for her brother.  It was just so precious to see our family open up to that Little One, who came in a stranger and left part of our family.  The boys adored her and have been asking since about adopting a little girl!  They still have some mixed feelings, but overall, they were smitten with the One and with the thought of a baby who can "do things" and who isn't "NKH", as Henry so kindly states.  I'm so grateful for that time with this baby, the time which showed us that it WAS possible for us to have FOUR children again and to be happy and joyful - it showed us we could do it, and happily!  It made us even more excited to see what God has in store.

I was able to talk a bit about this with my Momma on Tuesday, when she was back to being more of herself and when she was quite coherent, sitting here on our couch, in our home.  She was so excited at the though of another life (cautiously so, as we all need to be - there is so much that goes into it).  She and Dad prayed over me about it (everyone else was at school and work).  It was precious to hear them pray out loud about this desire God has so deeply laid on my heart.  I don't know why the burning is getting stronger, but it is.  I am grateful to have life and love to look forward to in this rough season of death and of the unknown with my Momma.  I know my Mom would feel that way for me too - Joy in the midst of sorrow.

God IS faithful, even when we are not.  I think He we see Him the most faithful then!  Not that He changes, but WE change during our desperate times of needing him.  When we are most desperate, we see Him most at work.  When you are desperate, IF you are desperate today . . . call out to Him!  Surrender to Him.  It is a constant surrender, a constant giving-over to the Lord.  I promise you though, it's so worth it, Friends.  This is the Life we are called to as Humans and as Believers - a life of complete surrender!  Surrender of our hopes and dreams, surrender of our health, our family, our jobs, our talents, our riches, our burdens, our weaknesses, EVERYTHING.  Give it to Him today and watch Him step in and work.  He alone is faithful!

Ryan

I Thess. 5:24 - "He who calls you is faithful; He will surely do it" (ESV)