A Big Confession

I have a big confession to make, and although I don't feel led to share every detail with you, I am prompted to share a few things.  It's burning on my heart, even though it is extremely difficult to share.  It's not something I would choose to tell the world, but God often asks us to do things that make us feel uncomfortable.  It's another way to trust Him, isn't it?  So, here it goes . . . 

As some of you may know, I've been dealing with health issues since sweet Ellie Kate was born over eight years ago.  Those problems have increased, and new ones have popped up, since Ellie went to be with Jesus.  I've had no doubt that the mental and spiritual have collided with the physical, causing some serious issues.

Friends, I have been depressed.  It's important for me to share that with you because I believe the Christian Community, and even the Church as a whole, often overlooks depression.  It's not seen as a true sickness in many places.  Often times it is dismissed or even worse, people struggling with depression are told that they just aren't strong enough, that they should be able to rise above because of their faith.  Others are told that if they would just work hard enough, distract themselves enough, get into the Word enough, the depression would subside.  I'm here to tell you that often is NOT the case.

And while it may not surprise you that I've been depressed (I'm sure those close to me have seen signs for a while), it may catch you off guard to know that I have been severely depressed.  There are many reasons for this severe depression, for this downfall.  Some contributors would be medications I've been trying for my heart and for my migraines (have you seen the list of some of those side-effects on the commercials?!).  However, I fully believe that even though there has been a chemical reason for this darkness and despair, I believe it's unveiled the fact that I am hurting and I can't deal with it on my own any longer.

So, I've been making some big life changes.  With the help of family and several professionals, I've been able to focus on myself.  I used to think that was a bad thing, so I would stay incredibly busy helping others.  I would hide and avoid my sadness, thoughts and depression by loving on others and serving, staying TOO busy.  This meant neglecting myself and often-times neglecting my family, and ultimately my Father-God.  This is NOT how Jesus wants me to live my life.  He does NOT want me to stay too busy.  He does NOT want me to avoid the pain, the thoughts, the sadness that I feel.  He wants me to address it and learn to cope with it.

I'm learning, with intense training.  I'm learning that I have to be healthy mentally, physically and spiritually in order to be all that I want to be - all that I can be.  And this means changing some things in my life.  Right now, that looks like taking a step back socially, using my energy to focus on my relationship with Jesus, with my family and even with myself.  I've set limits on my Facebook presence.  I've set limit on my emails, on my Plexus business, even on the Blog.  I've set limits on my involvement with Hope Link and with social activities.  And you know what?  It has been SO FREEING!!

You see, Jesus doesn't want us running around like a chicken with our head cut-off.  He doesn't want us running from person to person without a break, trying to serve those we think we are called to serve.  First and foremost, we are called to serve Jesus, and learn to know Him more.  Then we are called to love and serve our families.  We are also called to take care of ourselves (I've been forgetting that part!).  Then, we are called to love and serve those around us.  Sounds so simple and easy to understand, and yet I was missing it all, trying to stay busy and avoiding my feelings of hurt and loss over my Beloved Daughter.

Now, I am healing.  I am holding tight to my family and learning how to better care for myself.  I'm getting my priorities straight and finally facing the feelings I've had over Ellie's death, over the devastation of NKH, over the sickness of Lucy, and all that has come with it in our lives.  It's been amazing so far, and it's just the beginning!

If I post less-often, if I'm not on Facebook much, if I don't return your email, call or text, know that it's because I'm trying to get my priorities straight.  That includes cutting out stressors of all kinds.



My hope in sharing this reality is that you will know these things . . . 

1. Believers DO suffer from depression, and sometimes it's a deep, blinding depression
2. Depression doesn't mean that you don't have enough faith or that you aren't trusting Jesus enough.  It's a true illness, and is something that needs to be addressed.
3. It's important for us, as Believers, to get our priorities straight.  We must cut out things that add stress to our lives.  We must push into the Father, and recognize the things that He truly is calling us to do.  
4. We can't avoid our troubles, our hurts, our disapointments by staying busy.  I promise, it WILL catch up with you.  Seek help and slow down.  
5. Taking care of ourselves is NOT a selfish thing when we do it in a balanced way.  We must take time and make time for ourselves so that we can be all that God wants us to be to our families and to the World!

I hope you find some encouragement in this, Dear Ones.  I hope that this admission of mine sheds light on depression and on those that might be hurting around you.  I pray that God uses this to bring freedom to your heart, to your mind.  I pray too that it inspires you to seek out help, if that is something that you need.  

Thank you for listening and thank you for your continued prayers!!

Ryan

Take Me To The Cross

Today is Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent; and while I didn't grow up necessarily celebrating Lent in a traditional way, as an adult I am now seeing the importance of this dedicated time of focus.  I think Ben Nockels puts it most beautifully here:

Overview of Lent

By Ben Nockels 

Come, let us return to the Lord, He has torn us to pieces but he will heal us; he has injured us but he will bind up our wounds.  After two days he will revive us; on the third day he will restore us, that we may live in his presence.  Let us know; let us press on to know the Lord.  As surely as the sun rises, he will appear; he will come to us like the showers, like the spring rains that water the earth.  Hosea 6:1-3

"Lent, the forty-day period of preparation for Easter, has begun.  Lent reaches its climax during Holy Week, itself a journey within a journey.  Henri Nouwen once described Lent as the season in which Winter and Spring struggle with each other for dominance.  Others refer to this season as a time of "Bright Sadness".  Lent is a time of fasting and mourning, repentance and renewal; a time of identifying with Jesus in His suffering and death in order that we might identify with Him more fully in His resurrection and life.  

It is to the vivid imagery of "Winter and Spring struggling for dominance" that I wish to return our collective gaze.  This picture gives us a glimpse and foreshadows for us what can happen within our hearts and lives over these forty sacred days.  

It's so very earthly and real-time.  You can literally bear witness to the struggle transpiring.  The struggle is all around (and in) us.  An outward expression of an internal reality.  The created universe serving as a guide to the journey toward our own new creation.  Everywhere you look, you can see the world as it is and the world as it could be.  Winter and Spring.  Old and New.  Despair and Hope.  Death and life.  A not-so-amiable team of rivals.  Neither submitting to the other.  Back and forth they go.  

The struggle for dominance lingers on.  Winter looms large.  It kicks and it screams.  It puts up one serious fight.  And just when think your'e in the clear and you'd swear this cold dead season has seen it's last days, it rears its ugly headfor one last laugh and final gasp.  Winter has become an obstinate and completely unwanted guest who has long-overstayed its welcome.  

But then all at once, out of nowhere, Mother Nature runs Old Man Winter off into the distance.  And Spring comes bursting forth, right before our very eyes, in all of its glorious splendor, to take its rightful place.  The earth awakes and shakes off her slumber.  What once lay dormant has now become vibrant.  What seems to have taken place in one single instance has long been brewing under the surface in the deepest recesses of being.  Colors pop and sounds emerge.  The symphony of life is in full roar.  It's as if the songbirds themselves are ushering in new creation with each chirp, tweet and whistle.  Trees bud and flowers bloom. A fresh aroma fills the air.  It's a full-bodied, firsthand, multi-sensory experience second to none.  Energy palpable.  Borderline intoxicating.  Movement everywhere.  Life abounding.  

The fight finished and the victor crowned.  Winter threatened to conquer, but Spring prevailed in the end.  Spring wins.  It always has.  It always will.  A that, my friends, is the very best of news."

(emphasis mine)

WOW. Oh my friends, when I read this, I instantly connected with the Truths shared so beautifully.  As I shared in my previous post, I have been taking a break from many things.  Some things won't be obvious to those around me, and some will.  Maybe at some time, Jesus will give me the freedom to share some details with you, but for now, know this - I have literally been facing this fight of Spring and Life on a personal level. 

 He has forced me to step aside and lay it all down, giving it all up because I am too weak to go on the way that I was.  He has done this is both the physical and spiritual, and I am grateful and scared and excited.  Winter and Spring have been fighting greatly, especially since My Ellie Kate went to be with Jesus.  Spring WILL win, and Jesus WILL conquer, showing Himself mighty to me during this Season of Lent, in particular.  He has promised me this.

So, I will celebrate Lent.  I will participate in the holiness of all that it can unveil.  I will continue to cut things out and set things aside, ignoring what isn't deemed as important to my Father at this time.  I will focus on Jesus - on His life, His death and resurrection during this Season.  And at the end, He has personally promised me that I will see a transformation.  I will see the Victory.  I don't know what it will look like, but I am SO EXCITED.

What do you think about Lent?  Are you willing to celebrate and participate in it this year?  Our church, Bridgeway Church has partnered with Frontline Church and has published a wonderful guide to Lent.  Would you do me a favor and take a look at it- Lent Guide 2014?  Here you will find devotions for each of the 40 days of Lent.  Even skimming through it will bring you closer to the Lord Jesus and the truths of Lent and of the Easter Season.  How will you celebrate?

He has broken me, but He will restore me!

Ryan

Broken-Down

The time has come - the time I dreaded and hoped would never appear. I'm afraid I'm a bit broken-down. My mind, my body, my spirit are bruised, and that has me in a lowly place. I know that may not make sense to you, and for that I apologize. 

I've tried so hard for so long to keep going and keep my spirits high.  I think I've done a good job at it, at least for a good stretch of time. Lord knows that I've tried my best.  But now, it's caught up with me.  I think eight years of constant going, constant fighting, constant struggle, constant hardship, constant mourning; it's all gotten to me, and I need a break. 

I'm not sure what this looks like exactly, but I do know that I need a rest.  I'm surrounded by wonderful support and love, of which I am so grateful.  For now, I will be less visible on Facebook, Twitter and all of the other various outlets, including the blog. I will also be taking a break from messages of all kinds and from other busy things, as my mind needs a rest. I'm not sure how long it will take for me to rest and get back to a healthy place.  I just ask for patience. 

And really, you all have been so incredibly wonderful for the past years and for the ups and downs of our roller-coaster.  You've stepped up and stepped in, loving us recklessly and selflessly.  It's been amazing, and I thank you with all that I am.  I also thank you for giving me grace in this season.  Don't be afraid to reach out to me, to us; just know that we may not get back to you as soon as normal. 

Truly, I do not want any extra or any special treatment.  This is just life, and we are in the midst of a season of heartache. The sun will surely shine again, and I am eagerly awaiting that day. Thank you for understanding and for loving us along the way. 

Ryan

The Spoiled Child

Hi.  My name is Ryan Elizabeth Tully McLaughlin, and I have been acting like a spoiled child.  There, I said it. And the worst part folks, is that it's true.

You see, God has been incredibly good to me.  He's been good to my family.  The things He's done for us - well, they don't just happen, people.  I mean really, Mike winning a car after his was stolen a few years ago? Mike and I being sent on a trip to Mexico (without paying a thing), just because? Those things don't just happen, and I know that.  I hesitate calling them "blessings", because some may think that means we've earned those things, or that God loves us more, or that we've been so awesome that we've made those things happen, so to speak.  Totally not the case, I assure you.  It's just God's mercy.

It's not often that I get "down" for days at a time.  The last time that happened was when Ellie Kate died and a part of me died too.  But this week, that "down" feeling, that depression, that anger has not only crept in - it's run into my life, my heart, flags-a-flying.  I'm sad to say that I've given into that and I've hurt those I love along the way.

I'm not sure what sparked it all.  I'm just plain weary, and I say that knowing that I am not the only one out there (including in the world of Believers) who is down, out, sad, angry, and weary.  I am WEAR.Y.  Weary.  Worn.  Tired.  We've been on this ride for over eight years now, and that's one long fight (and many of you have been fighting even longer - God bless!).  Eight years is a freaking long time, ya'll!

Here's what I mean . . . on a daily basis, I do the regular things like keep our home clean, try to keep up with laundry, try to keep our fridge stocked (not up to my restaurant-owner-friend Nina, but good enough; maybe).  I try to keep homework going, get the kids dressed half-way acceptably and to school on time, and all of the other things that go along with being a typical mom (and I have a lot of help from our nurses who go above and beyond).

Then there's all the stuff that goes along with being a special-needs mom and living in that world.  On a DAILY basis, I am contacting nurses, nursing agencies, therapists and their offices, pharmacies and their pharmacists, doctor offices and all that comes along with that.  I also am in touch with insurance agencies, the state's early intervention programs, the companies that provide our home health supplies, the companies that supply Lucy's equipment.

Everyday, I fight for my daughter.  Everyday I push so that she receives what I feel that she needs.  Everyday I am her voice because she literally cannot speak for herself.  I am her advocate and I fight for her care every moment of the day, and her well-being is continually on my mind.

And then there is my precious Hope Link mommas and their struggles and my NKH Family and their struggles. And my friends struggling with cancer (Jenni!), and friends struggling financially. All of these trials I take on personally because I LOVE these people and they are truly my family.  It's a privilege to love them, to hurt for them and to pray for them and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Lastly, and most close to my heart other than Lucy's care, I mourn the loss of my daughter.  Every day I am reminded that Ellie Kate isn't here.  Every day I see her bus and picture her on it.  Everyday I touch her clothes (In fact, I sleep with one of her favorite shirts).  Everyday I wonder what she would look like.  On holidays especially, I wonder what I would have been dressing her up in (surely some giant hair bow and some monogrammed clothes).  Sometimes I think I hear her scooting across the floor.  Sometimes I accidentally call Lucy "Ellie" (many people do this, and it's endearing).  Everyday it hurts even though I know where she is.

Add it all up and, well . . . sometimes it isn't so happy.  Sometimes I am struck with the fact that my life is hard and it isn't going to change anytime soon.  Sometimes it isn't so easy to "rise above" to focus on "things above" to remember that "God is good".  When you are smacked in the face with reality, it knocks you down.  And that is where I am this week.

I'm acting like a spoiled child because I know the character of My Savior.  I've seen Him provide above and beyond over and over and over and over again.  I've seen him meet me in my dreams and in His Word.  And still, I'm stomping my feet.  

• I want my daughter to be healthy.  
• I want Ellie Kate to be here on earth.  
• I want Ellie and Lucy to be able to go to the Daddy Daughter Dance that so many of your sweet girls went to. 
•  I want my Daughter to go to dance class and actually be able to participate in a typical way. 
•  I want to be potty-training my daughter rather than trying to figure out how to order bigger cloth diapers and a carrier that will help me carry her around the house for years to come. 
•  I want to be there for my boys.  
• I want to volunteer at their school.  
• I want to be present there like the other moms, maybe even substitute. 
•  I want to take them to the batting cages, or get them more involved in sports with us taking them to practice and games.  
• I want them to be more involved in church and get to go to all of the activities that go along with that.  
• I want a pool.  
• I want a car that isn't beat up (who dreams of handicap-accessible van, btw?). 
•  I want to be out of debt (including medical debt). 
•  I want time with my husband and time alone with my husband.  I want to be able to work out on a regular basis. 
•  I'd like to consistently go to Bible Study. 
•  I want a storm shelter! 

But alas, this isn't what God wants for us right now.  And, did you notice something about that list of mine?  It's selfish.  Nothing on there is bad or harmful.  It's full of GOOD things.  But, it's selfish nonetheless.  The main theme is "I want".  But see, this life isn't about what I want.  It just isn't.  As a Believer, as one who has asked Jesus Christ to be my Lord and Savior, I am called to die to my self.  That means dying to these things I want; it means giving them up to the Lord and letting Him do what He wants to do, when He wants to do it.

The trials of this life are only for a little while.  As one who has accepted Jesus and depends upon Him for my salvation, I know that this life is but a vapor (James 4:14).  My life in eternity is the best part, and I have that hope!

I think that God knew that I wouldn't just choose to die to myself.  He had to give me a life where I HAD to die to myself constantly.  I'm grateful for that, and for today, I am choosing to walk in gratefulness rather than dragging my heels like the spoiled child I have been lately.  How thankful I am for a Father who loves me even when I stomp my feet.  How thankful I am for a Husband who continually loves me and blesses me, even when I act terribly.  How thankful I am for parents that continually help and serve me, even when I act like a brat.  And, how very grateful I am for the promise of a new eternal life that I have in Christ Jesus!

Choosing not to be spoiled!
Ryan

• Please continue to pray for my friend Jenni and her family as she continues to deal with her stage four cancer
• Please pray for my dear friend's husband, Bill Archibald.  Bill and Kristin are fellow NKH parents, and Bill is having terrible complications from a major surgery he recently had.  He is a precious man who needs our prayers!  

Down and Out with a Sick Little Lucy

Oh, Brother.  I am worn and weary tonight, friends.  It has been a very, very long day.  Mindy and I took Lucy Belle to her ORL/ENT appointment.  They were very busy, so we ended up waiting a very long time.  The doctor is just so wonderful and quick to listen to me.  He is also good at caring for Lucy and her "non-typical" needs:).

The good news is that Lucy's ears are clear!  Both tubes are in place, which we didn't think was the case.  No ear infections in our girl, thank the Lord Jesus (really and truly).  But . . . Lucy's throat is super red and her tonsils are really big.  She's also still screaming most of the time in pain.  It isn't screaming seizures, and I really don't believe it is a crying spell.  I believe she is hurting, so we have to do our best as a team (doctors included of course) to get to the bottom of it all and get Lucy feeling better.

Our ENT believes that we will likely need to get Lucy's tonsils out.  The problem is that he thinks this will be a very hard surgery on our girl.  He said to plan on staying at least a week (we don't have a date or anything yet, he was just preparing us).  It makes me sad to think of putting Lucy through something so hard, but I also HATE seeing her in pain!

After the ENT, we went straight down for a strep and flu test (boy, I am so very glad Mindy was with me to help!).  You may remember that Lucy has been positive for strep throat for almost a month now.  That has brought on the almost endless screaming, the need for narcotics, the extra doctor visits, the diarrhea, the antibiotics, etc.  In fact, she's been on four antibiotics plus the IV rocephin during our last hospital stay (we didn't swab for strep at that time, but we have all come to believe that she likely had it at that point).  NOTHING HAS WORKED. She tested positive again today for strep.  SIGH.  They even tested Lu Lu for MRSA because of the re-occurring, non-stop infections that aren't responding to ANY of the antibiotics.  As one of our docs said today, Lucy has had all the "big gun" antibiotics pulled on her, and nothing is touching the infection.

Because of the infection and pain, Lucy has had a huge increase in seizures.  We've seen seizures that are more severe, longer-lasting and seizures that are presenting differently than usual.  Because of this, we also visited neurology today, where our sweet neuro upped some of Lucy's seizure meds.  She also thought that Lucy may be having severe headaches or migraines since she's hitting her head and pulling her hair out in pain.  So, we are starting a med for that as well.

So, what do we do to stop all of this???  The Infectious Disease doctors are being consulted and will be added to our team for this situation.  I'm praying they can shed some light and offer some remedies.  They at least have to have some ideas for treatment, right??  We are waiting for those MRSA results, and we are waiting to hear from our team.  I am SO grateful to have all of our specialists at OU Children's where they can quickly and easily share information, confer and make plans.  It's a pretty amazing thing, and I'm anxious to hear what they come up with so that Our Girl can start feeling better.  And God-granted, the increased seizure meds and additional medications will help with the issues Lucy is having.

Here are some helpful ways to pray:

• Pray for Lucy's complete healing
• Pray for her ear and throat pain to stop (her throat pain causes her ears and head hurt)
• Pray that seizures will slow and that Lucy Belle will respond well to the med increases
• Pray for supernatural rest for each of our family members, including my parents and our nurses who are all doing more than their share to help us!
• Pray for God's provision for our family

On a VERY happy note, I'm posting a precious, precious video of Lucy Belle.  This was taken at our outpatient therapy yesterday with our Speech Pathologist, Lendy.  This is just a glimpse of how well Lucy is doing developmentally!  I wish I had taken the video longer.  This video is Lucy and her version of signing "more".  We are just thrilled and can't wait to see the other things that the Father will all Lucy to accomplish!  Praise God!  

Tired, Weary and Down and Out . . . 

Ryan

A Woman of Faith - My Friend Jenni

Many of you have heard me talk about my friend, Jenni Kufahl.  I've known Jenni since I was a freshman in high school, when we cheered together under the direction of her mom, Deani - our Cheer Coach.  I thought Jenni was so cool and so beautiful, and she still is! 

Life has gotten a bit busy for us both as she married a coach and has seven gorgeous children.  I've been busy too with our NKH Journey and all that has come along with it.  Jenni organized meals when Ellie Kate was first on hospice that first year, and it meant so much to me.  Then we reconnected when Lucy was born, and she came and visited us in the NICU, bringing notes of encouragement and love from the students in her husband's class at Christian Heritage Academy.  We stayed in touch on-and-off, and then Jenni was shockingly diagnosed with cancer about two years ago.  Cancer.  My friend who is a wife, a mother to seven children, was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer that seemed to come out of nowhere.  And her fight began. 

During her fight, Jenni has continued to encourage me.  You may remember me posting about how Jenni came up to the hospital that last day Ellie was inpatient, the day she came home from hospice.  Jenni brought me a Dr Pepper that morning (one of my favs), and prayed with me and over Ellie Kate that day.  She took a picture of EK and I together - one of the last ones I have.  She also visited us the day before Ellie Kate passed away, bringing a sweet gift along with her.  I was also with Jenni when Conner broke his arm, and because of her connections, we were able to take Conner straight to the Orthopedic doctor and straight into surgery.  This girl is a blessing, ya'll. 

Recently, Jenni spoke at the chapel service at Christian Heritage, and I wanted to share that video with you.  Watch it, listen to it; let the words sink in.  Let the Lord and His Spirit permeate your spirit through His Word that is spoken during this testimony of faith . . .

Jenni's Testimony

I'm asking you to pray for this friend, this Woman of Faith.  Jenni is in the hospital now, undergoing more chemo as her cancer has spread yet again.  She's fighting hard, and trusting the Lord and His Will for her life.  We know, without a doubt, that God WILL be glorified no matter how He chooses to heal Jenni.  He is FOR Jenni, and is FOR her family.  His heart is pouring out over her suffering, and yet He has allowed it for His glory and for her good.  That's what God does with tragedy and with trials in the lives of Believers.  He allows bad things to happen so that He alone can be glorified in ways we could never imagine - big, mighty, amazing ways!  Like Heath making a half-court shot at a Thunder game - and thus the Gospel was shared on ESPN, CNN, local news, and more! 


Trials are blessings because God is with us in an intimate way during them.  They are blessings because He uses them to mold us and make us more like Him.  They are blessings because it causes those around us to cling more to Jesus, and what could be more precious than that? 


Please Join Us in Praying . . .

• Pray for Healing for Jenni's body, here on earth
• Pray for ease of pain and that Jenni will feel comfortable and at peace
• Pray for Heath, Jenni's husband, as he leads his family and cares for Jenni
• Pray for Jenni's parents and her brothers and sister, as they care for Jenni and for each other during this time
• Pray for all seven of Jenni's precious children.  Pray that God would surround them with immense peace.  Pray that they will feel loved and secure during this trial.  Pray for God to meet them where they are.

Jenni and Heath - God has and is working through you in a mighty way!  We are so very proud of the way you have handled this adversity.  God is truly well-pleased with each of you and with your family.  You are blessed.  You are loved.  We are pleading to the Lord on your behalf!  May you feel His rich presence surrounding you.  May you hear Him sing His words over you.  May the Spirit of God fall on your shoulders, filling your home, your hospital room, your car - every place that you may be.  You have created a great and rich, godly heritage for your family and for the world to see.  Thank you for using your fight to bring glory to Jesus. 

Ryan

Some Very Sweet Things

Some very sweet things have been going on around here, and I wanted to share them with you.  Sure, we've been sick and have been struggling in several ways, but God always, always shows His love for us - His sweetness.

This Morning
 I walked by Ellie's room and caught myself before opening her door to wake her for school.  It took my breath away.  I had forgotten and was about to walk in and wake my Precious Girl.  At first I was very sad and frustrated, and I posted about it all on FB.  Then I read a response from my Aunt Carrie, and it changed my perspective on things.  I've chosen to be thankful for what happened this morning.

I'm thankful, that for a fleeting moment, I had a taste of what used to be.  That was a sweet thing.  I'm thankful at how much I love Ellie Kate - that I love her so much that when I am tired and weary, I sometimes forget that she isn't with us.  I'm grateful that she is safe and whole and her body doesn't have to endure all that she did on a daily basis here on earth.  Even on her best days - no more wheelchairs, no more tube-feedings, no more diaper-changes, no more inability to walk and talk!  I am grateful, and I am grateful for that moment this morning, as strange as it sounds.

Chair
Lucy has been needing a new sleeping chair (I may have mentioned this before on Carepages or on the Blog).  She now sleeps in a nap-nanny that allows her to be safe and sound in her baby bed while she receives her overnight continuous feeds.  She's safe in this chair because we watch her at night when the night nurse isn't here, however she is growing out of it and we've been looking for a permanent solution.

A while back, we found a Tumble Form chair that would keep Lucy safe while in her bed at night, and the best news is that it comes in various sizes.  But, medical equipment is very expensive.  Ridiculously so, and insurance only covers so much each year in durable equipment.  Today we came home to two giant boxes on our porch, and guess what was in them???  A TUMBLE FORM CHAIR!!  What in the world?!  There is no note or name on the invoice.  It was just delivered.  How sweet it was for God to do this today!  As we were feeling sick and down and tired, the Lord brings this to our door.  Such a sweet, sweet gift.



Doctor
I had a special and unexpectedly uplifting doctor appointment today.  I've had a lot of health issues since Ellie passed away, and I've been trying to deal with each thing one at a time.  So today I was able to see a specialist.  At the end of our appointment, he asked if he could pray for me.  Of course, I was elated!  That man prayed so sweetly, asking for God to heal my body and my heart, asking God for wisdom and direction and his oversaw this part of my care . . . it was so precious to me; a little gift from the Lord for sure.  I'm so grateful.  

We've had many other expressions of Love from others and from the Father this week as well.  I love to see people loving on one another.  I love to see the Kingdom of God at work.  I love to see His sweetness for me and for my family through the little things.

How is he showing you His sweetness this week?

Ryan