I just have to tell you . . .

It's 5am and I'm sitting in the Will Rogers Airport, waiting to depart for Boston, where I will attend, participate and speak at the NKH International Family Conference.  I am beyond thrilled to be able to do this!  It's obvious that the Lord wants me to go alone on this trip, and I'm not sure why, but I do know He has a specific purpose for that, and I'm excited (and a little nervous) to see what that plan may be.

The main reason of my post this morning is to tell you about something so special, so intimate, so priceless . . . well, I just HAD to tell you!!

You remember Makenna Johnson, Ellie Kate's dear friend, who went to be with Jesus over a month ago?  Makenna had this very special bed that was not only handicap-accessible, but it also protected her in many ways.  Friends had even made intricate bumpers for this bed, with special verses written on the foam underneath, so that Makenna would be surrounded by God's Word, God's TRUTH each time she lay in that bed.

 

 

 

 

Lucy has a special bed too - it's special because it belonged to Ellie Kate.  And while it is an unspeakable blessing to us, and something we will always treasure, it is something we think Lucy will out grow.  We believe that she will have the ability to stand one day, and thus the current bed would be very dangerous for her.  We applied for a bed like Makenna's.  We needed one, and yet we were denied it (insurance and medicaid are doing a lot of denying as of late).  Mike and I weren't too worried, even though these beds run upwards of 10k.  God has always provided for us, and we knew He would provide this, if indeed it was a need.  We just didn't know how creative He would go about doing it!

Matt and Marianne Johnson, Makenna's parents, GAVE US Makenna's bed.  The bed she slept in, played in; the bed they held her in, the bed she passed away in.  They gave us this intimate part of their lives, this intimate part of their Daughter.  So, Mike and I journeyed down to Plano, TX to pick up this extra special gift, with Lucy in tow (thanks to Mike's dad who let us use his new truck for the transport!).  We just kept thinking in unbelief, "How can they give this to us?  Why would they give us such a treasure?".  It's because Matt and Marianne love Jesus more than anything else, and they listen to Him and to the Holy Spirit's leading.  Even in their grief, they choose to bless us with something so close to their heart.

Lucy loved playing in Makenna's room!

Now Makenna's bed is Lucy's bed, and she loves it.  It's a beautiful white, and the bumpers match her room perfectly.  And those same verses on the foam that once surrounded Makenna in her sleep now surround our Lucy Belle - words of Truth, of never-changing Truth.  It is impossible for me to truly convey my feelings of all of this!

Even Henry Loves the Bed!

 

"The Princess and the Pea"

Thank you, Matt and Marianne for sacrificing something so very dear.  Thank you for allowing Makenna's life to bless others, even in her physical absence.  Lord, thank you for faithfully providing, just as you said you would do.  Jehovah Jireh, My Provider.  Blessed be your name.

Sweet Alissa

Today, we celebrated the beautiful life of Miss Alissa Ellyn Green.  Alissa is the daughter of my dear friend, Nellie who is one of our very first Hope Link members.  Alissa was one of Ellie's first special-needs friends and she is very special to us.  Their birthdays were literally just five days apart, and these girls had a special bond.   Now, they are healed and whole together, running and playing in ways that they only dreamed of here on earth!

Alissa went to be with Jesus last Friday night, in her home.  Much like Ellie Kate, Alissa was surrounded by the people she loved the most.  A long, hard, tearful, gut-wrenching day, with a beautiful passing of a precious child.  We watched, from the earthly side, as Alissa stepped into heaven.  We watched, on this end, as she was set free.  Oh, how I wish we could see on the other side!  I prayed all day that the Lord would allow Ellie to be there to greet Alissa and welcome her Home.  I pray that was the case as Alissa walked into Heaven last Friday evening. 

My heart has been so broken for Nellie.  I think it's because our girls are the same ages and I have many memories of them doing fun things together. Every year, it ended up that the girls had their birthday parties on the same day.  But last year, we were able to attend Alissa's birthday and it was so special, even though Ellie Kate wasn't with us.  Nellie and I used to walk the mall with Ellie and Alissa, and they loved it.  They even did their special-needs beauty pageant together!  So many fun things, although I think Ellie annoyed Alissa because she liked to pull on her thick, curly, black hair and Alissa didn't care too much for that. 

Ellie Kate and Alissa on one of their Shopping Trips

Life is so short, Friends.  I've attended four funerals, for four special lives, in the last two months.  My heart is so heavy, and my Spirit is broken.  My body aches as I think of the burdens that these mommas specifically carry, with arms that long to hold their daughters.  Today during Alissa's service, I was reminded of several passages of The Bible that bring truth and comfort to my heart at this time . . .

139 O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
² You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
    you discern my thoughts from afar.
³ You search out my path and my lying down
    and are acquainted with all my ways.
⁴ Even before a word is on my tongue,
    behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.
⁵ You hem me in, behind and before,
    and lay your hand upon me.
⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
    it is high; I cannot attain it.

⁷ Where shall I go from your Spirit?
    Or where shall I flee from your presence?
⁸ If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
    If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
⁹ If I take the wings of the morning
    and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
¹⁰ even there your hand shall lead me,
    and your right hand shall hold me.
¹¹ If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,
    and the light about me be night,”
¹² even the darkness is not dark to you;
    the night is bright as the day,
    for darkness is as light with you.

¹³ For you formed my inward parts;
    you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
¹⁴ I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.^[a]
Wonderful are your works;
    my soul knows it very well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
    intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
    the days that were formed for me,
    when as yet there was none of them.

¹⁷ How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
    How vast is the sum of them!
¹⁸ If I would count them, they are more than the sand.
    I awake, and I am still with you.

 

I do not understand why Alissa had to endure so much here on earth, but I do know that God created her in specific ways.  There is nothing about her that He did not know, did not plan, or did not allow. He had a specific plan for her life, and He has a plan for her death as well, even though we may not see or understand it just yet. 

And for us who are left behind with our girls in Heaven, I am reminded that God is with us always.  He goes before us and even behind us.  We are secure and safe in Him, even when our hearts break and our world falls apart.  And in the dark times, when it's quiet and we feel as though everyone has forgotten us, our loss and our child, God is with us.  He has not forgotten.  His thoughts about me - about you- are precious.

AxmTYklsjo190QWabc

AxmTYklsjo190QWabc

 

For those of you who are hurting and who have deeply lost, find comfort in the truth of God's Word written in Psalm 139.  His words are true.  His promises are trustworthy.  He is with you, even when it doesn't feel like it.  He understands ALL of our feelings and can take the good, the bad and the ugly.  He knows it anyway and sees it all, yet He loves us just the same and He is fervently chasing after us so that we can know Him on a more intimate level. 

 

Please pray for Nellie and her tender heart.  Nellie is a compassionate, thoughtful, hopeful, joyful mother that misses her daughter terribly.  Her life will never be the same.  Everything will be different . . . it will be hard, even beyond hard, at times!  Pray for encouragement and peace and that the Lord would flood her mind with precious thoughts and memories of Alissa.  Pray too for the other mommies who are also longing for their daughters tonight - Deani Merrell, Janna Jennings and Marianne Johnson.  We are part of a club that no one wants to be a part of. 

 

I leave you with this beautiful poem that was shared at Alissa's Life Celebration today.  It sums it up perfectly.  Take heart, Dear One.  It is not in vain.  Thank you Lord for making us in beautifully specific ways, for your glory.  Thank you for knowing us so intimately.  I am so grateful that your love for me does not change, even when my feelings do!  Be near, Dear God.

 

"Because of you I appreciate
the sunset more than before.
Because of you I stop to lookup at the moon and wish upon a star.
Because of you I look forward to hearing the birds sing in the morning, and thank God for their beautiful songs.
Because of you I am more understanding of others and accept people for who they are. ...
Because of you material things don't matter.
Because of you the touch of someone you love is more precious than any gift you can receive.
Because of you I have a broken heart but I thank God for sending you to me.
For there is no stronger love than I hold for you.
Until we meet again" . . . 

 - By J. Melia