Back in The Groove

Yesterday was the first day back to school for our children.  Conner is now a big SEVENTH grader, starting junior high!  Henry is back at our neighborhood elementary school with all of the familiar faces, places and sounds.  Lucy also is back at her same public school, which houses the most significant medical needs in our district.


Public school is a new thing for me, as from 3rd-12th grades, I attended private, Christian schools.  I have to tell you - I have been SO happy, impressed and reassured with our public school experience here in Moore, OK.  There's something very special about the teachers here, who genuinely love their students and love their community.  They want to see their students succeed while also enjoying the learning process.  Our community is very tight-knit, probably because of the many tragedies and storms (literally) we've faced together.  There is a solidarity there that is priceless.

The main thing I've loved about our public school experience is the level of communication we have with each of our schools.  If you know me, you know I'm big on communicating clearly, so I love that our teachers eagerly reach out to keep us posted on what's taking place in the classroom and on the playground.  All of these things are especially important for Mike and I as our kids have seen so much, and have been through so much, in their short lives.  Although we do still dream of sending the boys to private, Christian school, I can say that I fully trust the teachers now in our lives here in Moore.  God is so good to orchestrate this all for us!

Conner outside Brink Junior High

Ya'll,  I am just THRILLED, BEAMING, SO FREAKING HAPPY over how the first day went for all THREE of our kids!

• Conner:  Conner and I had a great time this week at his open house as we practiced going to his different classes, met all of his teachers, and walked around the entire school (every room) until he felt comfortable enough to be there on his own. After the event, Conner took me on a date for mexican food - a fav for us both. We made sweet memories I will treasure forever.  It was intimidating, dropping him off Friday morning, as the kids all look so big and the girls . . . well, they look like women!  Women in 7th and 8th grade, and here's our tall, skinny Lad, happy and nervous for this monumental occasion.  His first day was, "AWESOME"!  No tears, no tragedies - just happy reports of his teachers, friends, running to and from classes, and best of all . . . lunch! 

Back-to-School Night!

• Lucy: Lucy loves school, just like Conner!  My Mom and had a great time taking Lucy by her classroom this week and Lucy literally squeeled with joy when she saw her teachers!  One of the teacher aids was holding LuLu, and as we were leaving, I told Lucy to give Miss K a kiss.  She immediately leaned over and kissed her, clear as day!  It's that type of clarity and cognitive growth that we are seeing in Our Girl, you guys.  I just can't tell you how amazing it all is!  She's signing for a "drink", which she wants most of the time.  God is healing Lucy in many ways, and is allowing her to enjoy life! 

Lucy and Ms. Heather, ready for another great year!

• Henry: We were so worried about Henry's first day.  He had a hard time at Back-to-School night, even though we got there an hour before anyone else, in hopes of getting things done before the crowds arrived.  It was overwhelming.  He's felt the change all week, needing extra sensory input, such as climbing under our fitted sheet in bed because it feels "tight and safe".  

          Henry woke up with Conner yesterday, around 615am, which is WAY earlier than his normal.             He got dressed and ate breakfast and helped us take Conner to school.  He was starting to get   

          bored and tired by the time his school was about to open.  That had me concerned, but he 

          hopped up and ran to school with the rest of the kids in the neighborhood.  We did have one 

          incident at school, where Henry wanted to come home and get a bottle of water and see if I was           home, but other than that, his day was "GREAT!".  Ya'll, this is HUGE!  Henry has had NO 

          tears over school.  NO  fits or breakdowns.  Change is very hard on him, but he    

          PERSEVERED and pushed himself, and he made it through the day, passing with flying             colors!  Mike and I are elated and pray that this behavior will continue.  

Henry and Mommy, on our date after the open house

With this new school year will come change - change for our family.  I won't tell you specifics, but we are finally acting on some things we feel God has called us to for sometime now.  For a long while, I have felt like we were "stuck"; stuck between the Northside of the City and South, stuck between communities, stuck between groups of people . . . just stuck, and that hasn't felt good at all.

I have felt as though we've fallen through the cracks, and that isn't a good feeling to have. g reason for that though, is because we've been dragging our feet and haven't made the steps the Lord really wants us to.   I've been crippled by  fear of rejection - a fear I live with on a daily basis.  It is extremely hard for me not to find my worth in others and in what others say or think about me.  Thankfully, the Lord has been bringing me through that and in making some big changes, we think things will only get better in this area.  

 We Celebrated the Happy School Day with a Chuck-E-Cheese Treat

Lucy wasn't so sure about the "excitement" of C.E.C.

We want to simplify our lives while following Christ's lead.  What may be "simplifying" to us may not look that way to the world, or even to fellow Believers.  That's what we will be doing though - allowing the Lord to do the realigning, redesigning, relocating, redirecting.  CHANGE, for the better.  More security.  More simplicity.  The Lord will bless obedience, and for that I am truly excited - I can't wait to see what HE will do!  I can't wait to see what these changes will do and how they will mold our family, our friendships, our walks with the Lord. 

 It is definitely difficult to step out in faith like this, bc let's face it, most of our stepping out in faith has been with the health of our children.  This is different and requires actual physical movement and physical steps.  It's exciting because we know the Holy Spirit is moving in our lives and we can once again taste it, sense it and feel it!  

Thank you, Father for stepping in and for showing us where to go and what to do.  Please continue to reveal yourself to us, Lord.  Give us the boldness to step out and make new choices, that may be uncomfortable and painful.  YOU are so good.  

The Incredible IF

I spent this last weekend in Austin, Texas with my friend Sarah.  We had the absolute joy and privilege of attending the IF Gathering at Austin City Limits.  Currently, I'm still trying to wrap my mind, heart, body, and spirit around all that took place at this amazing event for women.

Encouraging women to go out into their communities and follow the dreams that God has placed within their hearts.  Equipping women to move on from their pasts, to step out in faith, knowing that God calls them to amazing, incredible things as women and individuals that He created.  Most importantly, IF emphasized the truth that Jesus IS the only way to heaven; HE is the Savior of All, and apart from Him, we can do nothing.  And nothing is more important that furthering His kingdom om here on earth.  No matter what the cost.

First off, I want to tell you about my friend Sarah, which will likely REALLY embarrass her, because she is just cool and humble like that.  I met Sarah when we worked together at Oklahoma City University.  She threw me a beautiful baby shower at work when she barely even knew me.  Sarah has brought meals to our family for over nine years, since the very beginning with Ellie Kate.  NINE YEARS, PEOPLE.  She is one of THE most loyal, genuine, giving people I have ever me, and she is MY FRIEND!  I am so lucky! Sarah is one of my very best friends, really and truly.  And it's because of her and her generosity that I was able to take part in this amazing trip which revived my faith.  The best friends help us do that, don't they?  Revive our faith.

Willie Nelson, Sarah and Me, Just Hangin'

It really was fun to get away, although I assure you that Sarah and I didn't live it up in relaxation.  Quite the contrary, we were stretched spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and even physically.  It was a very taxing weekend, but the kind that changes your life.  An "Ebeneezer Moment".

All of the greatest current Christian women speakers were there, many of whom I had never heard of (I guess I'm out of the loop).  But I'm not really into following people, truthfully.  One of my BIGGEST turn-offs are leaders who are too into themselves.  Christian leaders, Believers, Followers of Christ, who come across pompous, as if they alone hear straight from God . . . I'm always so leary of those kinds of leaders.  But here, I was so incredibly relieved and encouraged that in the very beginning of this event, it was made emphatically clear that this was NOT about one speaker, or about ANY of the speakers or singers.  This was about JESUS.  No denominations.  Just JESUS and furthering His kingdom, specifically through women.  It wasn't about self-help or finding who you are as a women in a humanistic sense.  It was about asking God to show you who He wants you to be, where He wants you to be serving, and how to step out and go for it, even when it is so very scary.  

Christine Cain

Jenni Allen and Some of the IF Team

The whole weekend focused on The Promised Land that God had given to the Israelites. But they were too afraid to take it.  The men who went to check it out came back and talked about how scary and impossible it was.  Only two - Joshua and Caleb - called on God's People to step out in faith because this Promised Land was already promised to them!  It was theirs for the taking. (Numbers 13).

But the Israelites were so afraid of the giants and of the many perils the men reported.  They thought it was better to stay in the Wilderness, or even go back to slavery, than it was to step forward and try to go out into the Promised Land.  I mean, what would that look like for their children?  God promised it but would He protect them?  Would they die?  Would their children suffer?  So they waited and lived in the barren Wilderness, missing out on the lush richness of the Promised Land.  And I don't think it was just a physical Land of Milk and Honey.  I think God wanted them there for an even MORE abundant life in Him; a more precious and more intimate relationship with their God.  But they were too afraid.  And Joshua and Caleb were so moved by this, and were mourning so deeply over the fact that their people were not listening to God and thus not receiving what He had for them, that they tore their clothes and wept.  They knew what a true loss this was and they were broken before God, for their own people.

Many years later, God called Joshua to go out and get that Promised Land; to lead His people into what He had called them to, what He had prepared for them, what He had set aside for them.  He called Him to take down Jericho, for if they took that down, all of the other cities would soon follow and the Promised Land would fully be their's.  Joshua believed God for all of those years as His people waited in the wilderness.  Joshua knew it was his destiny - his people's destiny - to take the Promised Land and all that entailed (Joshua 1).  According to Exodus 17:8 though, Joshua had to wait 40 years before leading into the Promised Land.

Questions burning on my heart from this weekend . . . 

• What are you holding onto that is keeping you from moving forward in your relationship with Christ?  Is it your past?  Something that was done to you?  Jesus wants you to move forward and experience all that He has planned, that He has prepared, that He has called and destined for you.  You can let go.  
• Faith - it doesn't have to be big.  I often say, and I even heard it this weekend, "I believe; help my unbelief".  These are the words of Jesus himself, Friends!  Faith of a mustard seed.  Do you believe He has something more for you? Believe and trust him.  
• Have you lost yourself, Sweet Sister?  Do you still have your identity?  So many of us lose it today, thinking that it's the godly thing to do.  But you know what?  God calls us to different things.  He equips us for different things.  He destins us for different things. And He longs for us to have an abundant, fullfilling life with Him here on earth!  That doesn't mean falling into the shadows of our husbands or being fearful of standing up in our church.  It means that God has precious, designed plans specifically for you and you can trust Him in that.  And you can believe when He calls you to step out towards those things.  
• So, what IS God calling you to?  It's so simple and yet we make it so complicated.  What interests has God put into your heart?  What have you always been drawn to, even as a little girl?  Or what has God placed on your heat that burns so feverishly that you KNOW you have to act on it?  That's your ministry.  That's your calling.  And you don't have to be afraid of it.  And you don't have to wonder how it will all work out, because in our own, human minds, it never will.  But God is in control and He is sovereign and He will work ALL things together for the good of those who love Him.  
• Joshua and Caleb mourned and cried out when they saw that their people weren't taking what was theirs; that their people were missing out on the abundance that God had planned and prepared for them.  What is my response to the world of Believers?  To MY world today?  Do I mourn and pray for revival?  Do I plead with the Father to breathe new life back into the People of God?

I was reminded of many things . . . 

• Faith does not demand that God always explains Himself.
• You don't need full possession of knowledge to have full possession of God
• Sometimes we choose bondage because it's familiar
• Faith thanks God in the middle of the struggle
• We are at war and the prize is faith
• It is NOT about us but about our immeasurable God
• This is NOT about self-actualization, but total dependence on God.
• Independent of Christ, THERE IS NO PURPOSE
• As a Believer, My Identity and My Destiny are NOT outside of Christ
• It is not about me being happy; Joshua had to sacrifice so much.  He sacrificed His life.  Faith requires sacrifice, as does following Jesus.
• God prepares us for our destiny, just as He prepared Joshua (he was a servant of moses)
• Performance does not prepare you for battle.  SERVICE DOES

God WILL ask us to do the impossible because His grace is perfected in our weakness.  He WILL allow it to be hard for us to step out in faith so that we can solely rely on Him and so that He alone will get the glory.  But He is Faithful and He will complete the good work He has started in you and in me.  And not only that, but He will also use it for MY good. I just have to trust him.  FAITH.

And the KEY to all of this?  The key is staying in God's word.  How can I be equipped?  How can I know what God is leading me to, if I don't hear from His infallible Word?  I was so convicted of this as God reminded me of other religions and how they so devoutly pray certain times of the day, no matter what.  How some read their books with the utmost dedication because their lives are completely sold-out.  Their religion is their identity.  But I'm being offered so much more in Christ, and so are you.  We are offered our identity in a RELATIONSHIP, not in a religion.  And, my God's Word is living and breathing, which isn't true about any other god that ever was nor ever will be. How much more so, Lord should I find my identity in you?!

 I will choose to put God's Word on the inside of my heart because I want my life to matter.  I want to do what He has created me to do, what He has planned for me and called me to.  He's placed it in my heart and He is still equipping me.  I will step out with small, small faith and choose to believe that God is Good, all the time.  And I will trust what He has in store for my life, all-the-while praying for unity and for revival among the people of God.  Let it be, Lord!  

Ryan

Isaiah 41:10New International Version (NIV)

Do not fear for I am with you,

Do not be dismayed, for I am your God

I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

So
o n

Matthew 10:16-19New King James Version (NKJV)

16 “Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves. Therefore be wise as serpents and harmless as doves. 17 But beware of men, for they will deliver you up to councils and scourge you in their synagogues. 18 You will be brought before governors and kings for My sake, as a testimony to them and to the Gentiles. 19 But when they deliver you up, do not worry about how or what you should speak. For it will be given to you in that hour what you should speak;

Psalm 46:1-3King James Version (KJV)

46 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

2 Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;

3 Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah.

Psalm 46:1-3King James Version (KJV)

46 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

2 Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;

3 Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah.

Romans 8:18-36

 I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. 19 For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. 20 For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope21 that[a] the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God.

22 We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. 23 Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. 24 For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? 25 But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. 27 And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.

28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[b] have been called according to his purpose. 29 For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. 30 And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

31 What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? 33 Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. 34 Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?36 As it is written:

“For your sake we face death all day long;
    we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”[c]

1 Peter 2:9English Standard Version (ESV)

9 But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called youout of darkness into his marvelous light.

Isaiah 55:8-11English Standard Version (ESV)

8 For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.
9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts.

10 “For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven
    and do not return there but water the earth,
making it bring forth and sprout,
    giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater,
11 so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth;
    it shall not return to me empty,
but it shall accomplish that which I purpose,
    and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.